Though hand in hand, united together,
always single entities, seperated forever.
Alone on our own, pretending to be two,
because i was always powerless to stop what happened to you.

I was so sorry to learn of your leaving,
so soon, but death is our only real nowadays common ground.
Up & down, through those cycles called ' life ',
ultimately, we are all lonely bound.

I dreaded this day,... still,
now you are free of your troubles,
leaving behind all the useless baggage called pain.
How quickly we pass, missed by not many,
a hopeless life gone,
the demise used by sick minds in need of their own ugly gain.

I felt sorrow when i heard the news about you,
then felt worse when i read the obituary reviews.
What a fine person you were,
when you were alive,
Just an acquaintance then,
suddenly everyones best friend now that you've died.

Selfish minds & misplaced feelings,
haphazard thoughts only contained by the ceiling of reasoning.
The real people are almost envious of your relief,
you can stare down from above, laugh in honesty at last at the phoney grief.

What has visited you,
will one day happen to me.
We both aimed for the stars,
stupid but also innocently.
The sphere of our circles
became obliquely square,
seeking ironic direction,
knowingly going nowhere.

Strange how the reality did choke me,
& yet you were choked to your very own end.
You stole me from somewhere called hopeless,
& your last shared breath says thats where we will both remain friends.

The strength i grabbed
from an unfortunate friend,
has now been laid slain to waste,
right before me.
Loves lost grace
as hypocrites embrace,
the sinking floor beneath us all
will judge us rightly.

Life was a dream
that we both shared,
it was over before it was even born.
Reality had never introduced itself,
it quietly left us alone without keys,
and checked into its own room.

Sour grapes ?
it tastes that way,
out of lunacy
we were divided.
Parachute,
our minds out of our heads
and nobody cared or noticed.

Too many feelings here in our souls,
because we can't feel beaten,
but betray each other with treason,
but i never want to be like you,
and you could never be like me.

Sometimes there can only be one ending.

The untrained eye cannot detect the lies,
is that the fault of the deceivers ?
The untamed liars cannot likewise deny or defy,
the thoughts in the vaults of the everyday dreamers.

The religion of conformity,
a non - choice that some must take.
Heaped upon many a shoulder,
the sullen, they fake, the weak just pay.

The discovery of independent thought,
of being brave and at last feeling strong.
Frowned upon by the would be controllers,
who need you to believe you are wrong.

Carry on, carrying on,
in that same sterilised traditional way.
Applecarts are the place to put your faith,
so everything stays comfortably the same.

The status quo of uniformity,
perfect guidelines, our God to follow.
Taught from a blackboard of empty prophecies,
and shells full of hollow.

Glorify yourself in bygone years,
with testaments of lies filled with tears.
Appeasement is a word that stands quite tall,
designed to grind the smallest even further behind the wall.

Suspicious bonds, rigid lines,
they're never properly identified.
A zigzag mess of a map,
its called being alive,
from birth to death,
oh what a grand design.

I've never wanted someone new,
i've always been in love with you.
We don't get along anymore, though we tried,
i guess it's easier now that we say our goodbyes.
I see that look thats in your eyes,
and i know that your love for me has died.
I never wanted us to end,
and i can't bear the thought of you only as a friend.
The thought of someone else with you,
tears me apart but what can i do ?
I never meant to make you cry,
but oh how,
oh how now i cry.

Life without you,
and dreams don't come true.
I'm still in love with you.

How did it come to this ?
Travelled so far, long & wide together,
yet apart.
Not of my choosing,
but to all of our undoing.

Our fortunes in reversal,
i craved your attention as the youngest child.
Delivered now too much & too late,
when all i want & need is solitude, peace & quiet.

The light that once shone within & between us,
then flickered dimly until you blew the flame out.
Its resonating echo is of a deep dark black,
forever now, our shared hovering grey cloud.

Perhaps when we are all finally gone,
maybe our ghosts will realise the wrongs.
All the stupid lies, entwined,
together with the ties that bind.

Imagine,.. if we had never been born,
then this storm would not have happened at all.
Our mirrors reflect a collective shameful face,
childish, spiteful behaviour that has no grace.

And if i never ever see you again,
i can both live & die with that from here on, on my own.
Our epitaph will be one of final great failure at last,
disturbingly distorted souls all alone.

Walking, talking, living enigmas,
human puzzles that can never be solved.
Clueless lost souls, i give up on the equation,
without you, at least, i'm back in control.

Will i ever wander again,
be & feel free to wonder & stray,
or remain this way, in this state ?

Am i losing my mind ?
Will peace ever again be mine ?
Is there space in my head,
is there enough recovery time ?

To want to die
is no choice of mine,
but no time for nine,
cats stitches to rhyme.

Please realise,
i've committed no crime,
the demons returned once more,
and invaded my mind.

Alone in a hole,
thats all i have as my home.
Temporary vacation i hope,
but its a long long road.

Hard to take,
is life real or fake ?
Muster a smile,
for even just a while.
Keep them at bay,
out of the way,
don't want to hurt them,
they wouldn't understand anyway.

The sadness i hide,
like a child, in solitude i cry,
feel i could die.

Twas here only yesterday,
then happiness moved swiftly away,
so for now in limbo i stay.

And everyday i die inside,
just that little bit more.
Surrounded by family & friends,
yet feel so insecure, lonely & unsure.

The burgeoning question that burdens, haunts & hurts my brain,
Will me & myself ever be friends again ?

If you're feeling lost, getting tired or just weary,
suggests an empty space where your life should have reached.
The carriage has derailed from the tracks of your journey,
and its the strangest place that you've ever been.

Would love to say i feel proud, but i don't, so i can't.
At least there is no shame, but oh what a shame.
Somethings either missing or it never existed,
and disappointment has become my trade.

Is it true we get wiser as we get older ?
Or are they just fabled words from some wife who is old ?
Place the world upon my shoulders, like a soldier,
The truth can only be found because its never told.

Throw a dice, spin a wheel, take a chance on your fortune,
Hold yourself hostage to someones beliefs.
Then worship the statue that preached you its values,
and sell your soul to them on bended knees.

If you're feeling lost, getting tired, or just weary,
suggests an empty space where you thought your life would be.
The carriage sometimes derails from the tracks of the journey,
Twas the strangest & hardest place i've ever been.