My depression has gotten the best of me
I don't know how much longer I can take this
I guess this is goodbye
I don't know how many days i'll be alive to see anything
But I hope the best to others
Goodbye

It's been so long since I was able to feel this
This overwhelming power of the sorrow I thought left me
The sorrow that left me shivering on the ground all alone
Like a child not getting what he/she wants
Watching this whole forest I've grown burnt down in front of my face
Walking as it burns around me knowing there's nothing I can do
But play in these ashes of the memories you held the closest to you
My lungs swollen from these breaths that turn into screams
Not able to breath well from the amount of ash I'm breathing in
I look back to how I was so happy as the song jingles in my ear
Reminding me of someone I cared about
How I hurt her and knowing that I lost something that meant something to me
Even if the song isn't playing it rings in my ear
How blind I was how stupid I've been and how scared I am of my future
I'm alone no matter how many people say I'm not
Alone is the only place I belong

Regret is something i've been feeling for a while
The choices i've made I always thought they were right
But to soon reilize that they were very wrong
I was told to choose what makes me happy
But I ended up making the wrong choice
I pitty myself in thinking I could do what I wanted
I just ended up hurting the ones closest to me
It ended up stabbing me in the back
I'm always told i'm worth something
Am I really worth something when all I do is destroy?
Why did I do to deserve such a life when all I did was burn it down
A forest
But now there's no forest left to thrive in
The right choice or so I thought turned into guilt and jealousy
Maybe what I think is right
Is horribly wrong...

Hate love which one are we made of?
Hate is so powerful!
When love is weak but harmless
Hate!
Love!
Which one do we choose?
It's tearing me apart...
What do I do?
I can't do anything about it!
No one can!
I'm just a little speck on this big planet...
I won't make a diffrence
So what's point?
When dying isn't a choice?
What do I do?
Tell me please...
-Francis Tolentino

The end of the school year ends
A moment you wish never happened
As you say your last goodbye's a kiss leaves you feeling empty
Watching her disappear into that bus
Her stepping into the real world now
As your stuck still so young
Your driven home your eyes filling with tears
They fall from your face as you think to yourself
"Whens the next time you'll be able to see her again..."
"When can things go back to our way..."
"This world is such is so cruel..."

So cold and motionless...
Like a puddle of water...
Going no where and soon may vanish if the rain stops...
To be forgotten...
Like a fuzzy dream...
Not able to feel any emotion...
Like someone has pressed the pause button on you...
Stopping your life and never hitting play...
-Francis Tolentino

Dancing and having fun
Before you know it a slow song
Everyone looking for a person to use this song to connect there emotions together
Watching everyone find someone and some already dancing
On the dance floor alone you lock eyes with this familiar face
Slowly walking to each other as your hands connect
You sway back a forth
The song goes your hands slide down and rest on her hips
As she lifts her arms and wraps them around your neck her hands holding on
Again swaying to the song
Another moment where we stare at each other foreheads soon against each others
Still swaying
As we both start singing to the song
She wraps her arms around you and you do the same holding each other so tightly
Singing and swaying
Feeling those feelings that were hidden away for so long
The warmth you feel couldn't match anything you've felt before
The song slowly ends but our hug never stopped

Looking left and right but no one to be seen
Walking down this meadow grass
Bare feet softly stepping on the wavey grass
Grass slipping in between your toes

As you fall backwords your fall is cushioned by the grass
Blindly staring at the blue lightly cloudy sky
The clouds shaping into many different shapes
The wind whistling through your ears
Like nature is singing you a lullaby

As you close your eyes
You slowly fall into a deep slumber

I wonder sometimes if i'm real or not?
Many things in my life happen...
You know that saying?
"It's to good to be true"
But even if it's to good to be true there are still bitter tastes to it
Even having the most meaningful relationships they still have bitter tastes
It may seem amazing and so happy to others
But it may be that they are suffering...
Telling each other
"Don't give up"
Easier said then done...
Are these feeling what really makes me "me"?

These chains keeping me on my knees...
Like a caged animal...
Arms up as my body sways back and forth...
As the blood starts running down my arms as the chains jingle...
Feet nailed to the ground blood still oozing out...
As my screams are fading away so is my vision...
The nonstop tears rolling down my face as I see the lifeless body of a great friend in front of me...
"I'll **** you all! I swear i'll send you all to hell!"
My mouth is covers with a blood stained hand...
As the knife runs through my throat...
As if my skin was made of butter...
My vision goes black...
I move my lips in a way to make out the words...
"Good bye crewl world..."

Love isn't something you can just make up
It forms
It also isn't a toy
You can't just stop your love for someone when it gets boring
People who treat love like a game haven't felt true love
Nither have they felt that feeling at all
They haven't felt the true meaning of love
That's why people always try to hurt themselfs
Telling themselfs that they will never find someone

They can't find anyone when they say these things
It blinds them from seeing many opportunities
There stuck in there own world they've created
They trapped themselfs inside cages and act like wild animals
When all they have to do is turn the handle to let them out
Feeling traped sends them into a endless pit of darkenss and sadness
Which leads them into hurting themselfs or ending there lives
When there is so much more to life then they think

Love is the most beautiful feeling
Better then the rest
It's more filling and never leaves you empty
Love can do crazy things
Things that seem impossible

Love is the motivation the world needs in order to function

Never shall a promise be broken!
Never shall I doubt her love!
Never shall she hurt me!
Never shall I hurt her again!
Never shall we become broken again!
Never shall I think it's over!
Never again!

The moment i've been waiting for
The moment where I can show people I can do it
The moment where I can say
"I made it"

As I ready myself with my wepon in one hand as my other hangs
The referee giving us the go
As we both shoot at eachother like where bullets coming out of a gun
We both meet in the middle and slash are swords together
All I can hear is the meeting of are blades and how the whole room is as quiet as the night sky

BEEP
I look to my right
Green light flashing on my side
"YES!"
I screamed

19 X's Beep

The match is stopped as the timer goes off

13 - 13

"Almost there"

Both getting ready again
We shoot at each other again
Beep

"His point..."

I breath as we shoot at each other again like pullets
Beep
"My point"

We salute and once again

Beep
"My point! One more!"

"I've waited my whole life for this"

"Running at the speed of light"
*Beep

I thought that if I kept believing and breathing I'd be ok...
I thought that if I kept loving and hatting I'd be ok...
I thought that if I kept my hopes up I'd be ok...
I thought...
I thought and I failed...

Being a friend is one of the best ways to keep someone alive
Preventing them from hurting themself
From ending there priceless life
From disappearing

Nightmares is all I see in the pitch black of my mind
No longer dreams
Just Nightmares

Walking in the halls alone you reach for a hand to hold but forget she's not there

Nothing to hold onto you fall in the endless darkness and dispare

She's thinking of you as she drives farther and farther away

Not knowing if she'll be ok fills your mind

Thinking all negative

Everyone

Hates

You

The sight of nothing but fire and destruction, The smell of ash and sorrow, the taste of blood, Every touch or hit is not felt because of the pain, The sound of screams being silenced and swords and blades thrashing at each other as the war counties.

Hanging on the edge of the cliff
Waiting
Waiting to be pulled up
As you hang your just about to fall
You close your eyes
You let go after countless screams of desperation
Into starless night sky
That moment you think its all over
But something graps your hand
Opening your eyes slowly
Still not able to see as your eyes are full of tears and pure aggression
Being pulled up thinking who and why
Now standing you rub your eyes
Thinking who ever it was saved your life
The one you've given up on
Looking into there eyes as your pulled toward them
Being squeezed feeling like your backs going to snap
You hug them back still not knowing who it is
Finally pulling back only to find out it's you
"Look into yourself and find happiness"
It told me as it vanished from my grip
You go down the cliff
Not by jumping
But climbing down to live life

You are someone whose head hurts from all the loud music blasting into your ears, who turns off the lights and listens to music in an empty bedroom.
All you can think about is love…  the love that you share with a special someone. It makes you feel happy, makes you joyful... but it also makes you sad…because she’s not here, she’s not listening with you...
She’s not here, and you miss her so much.
As you lay your head on your cold pillow to sleep, all you can hear is the echo of your weeping in the empty room that used to be owned by two. The room is full of memories; she used to always be right by your side.
Now all that’s left
are tears and a broken heart.
You remember it so clearly, too clearly. You remember her dropping your love
like a bird shot right out of the sky.
She walked away so slowly; it was an eternity watching her walk out the door.
It’s so clear… Like it was just yesterday…
You fall asleep drenched in your own tears, and you dream of her, reliving the days you spent together, the days when you were both so happy…
Now there's nothing left.  Nothing to push you to keep going…Nothing left to live for. As you pull yourself from your bed, you mumble to yourself,
“How could I forget when she gave me so much to remember…?”
You stare at the thing that you want so desperately, you look it in the eye.
Death.
You ready yourself for eternal hell, and
you say your last words.
“I miss her… I love her… Why did it have to be me?”
The last word slips softly out of your mouth as you slowly slide the rope over your head and settle it around your neck.
Just before you kick the chair away, you use your last breath to say
“I love you.”
You feel the cord tighten around your neck, and your hear a sharp snap as blackness clouds the edges of your vision.
Somehow, the tears are still rolling down your cheeks.
If you listen closely you can hear my screams… the screams that I’ve wanted to let out for so long, but could never find the voice for. My tears will never stop, and the memories keep me from letting go.
Hear the sound of a rope being pulled with full force, straining as it gets tighter and tighter.
No matter how tight it gets, it could never stop my suffering.
If you listen even closer you can hear the endless tears, dripping on the floor like rain. “I am forever restless…”
“Forever…restless…”

By: Francis Tolentino
Edited by: Sky Gray