For a start, I smell like ammonium
Fresh from the salon
A change to reflect the change I feel in me

A change for myself
Not for you
You just got lucky

Destiny conspired against me
to bring me here, too fresh
with static frizz
from polyester layers.

Fresh from him last night
and the boy before

My greatest right
is my greatest privilege

and I'd abuse it with you too.

Waiting for you is like
waiting for the future
is like
waiting for a bus I've never taken before
is like
waiting for rain in a strange country
for the beat to drop in a song new to my ears

How will I know when?
When will I see how?
Anticipation is adrenaline.
How much, I cannot tell.

battery cold
dead phone
charge it immediately
feel less alone

Here you are, in front of me
Tight and pink
You're aching to begin
Slide my lips on top of you
Taste the first taste
and you're in.

Shaft hugs throat like a glove
the rhythm the rhythm the rhythm
you're mine.

Lost to the ecstasy
a great roaring sea
with that sweet groan,
a torrent into me.

how could you say you know me?
which of many avenues brought us together
together but for cyberspace
I have forgotten
and worthless now,
you know me
because you know yourself.

Angry. Furious. Terrified.
That I'd offer you everything
and you'd still say no.
That what you thought you wanted
Was never me.
Your brain stopped the tap,
expended the last drops
and left us both cold.
That you turned away
In fear greater than even you could handle.

the experience you see
in my eyes
and the depths of my face
in the way I form my answers
in everything

how I fire out words
so professionally
you'd never guess
I'm still that little girl
in the bathroom
vowing to be
the new man in the family
and waiting for someone
to understand enough
to let me share that burden.

How much time,
to let my nails grow?
How much time,
to patch a heart?
How much time,
to make my feelings known?
How much time,
before we part?

How much time,
between the metro stops?
How much rail track?
How much sweat?
How much time lost while the needle skips?
How much time will you forget?

Could we please go back
to a few lines ago when
I think I made you smile.
At least you sent a emoticon
now you haven't replied since 12:53,
I know I've said something wrong.
So could we please
clear the history
and go back.

All the books I'd love to read.
have already been read.
All the things there are to know,
are already known by someone.
All the places I could go,
already have people,
and every man I'd love to love
has been loved and loved in turn
every woman,
who worried like me,
who bought the same dress,
left the same shoes,
and cried at P.S. I Love You.

Read my older poems at:

http://allpoetry.com/foxyflossie

Old enemies follow me still
Lurking in any wardrobe, any bed, any state of mind
An erosion of happiness
I haven't the strength to control
A futureless tomorrow haunts me
Please, let destiny smile on me again
And grant me this dream
No more heartache
No more break ups
Please let him be my last boyfriend.

a prison of faux white pillars
a jail of crisp green water
and perfect blue sky

she lies motionless,
infected with fever

my true love's far away,
infected with life.

Crouched in a pasta shell,
only air between us.
Miss you, I used to,
Before being unable to.
Defending a numb and empty heart
Seems pointless,
But I know it can still break.

I've held babies
scratched itches
popped bubble wrap
and satisfied urges

I've never swam with dolphins
skydived
bungee jumped
nor won the lottery

but I'm sure
The sweetest thing in this world
is to lie side by side with you
and hold your hand.

Another ******* night alone.
Waiting for cobwebs to be grown.
In my chest, a mighty ache.
Strings strain, how much weight can they take?

The hole rots happily,
I take a breath.
And know how loneliness causes death.