she stole my identity
but none of the bad parts
she got my credit score
and bank account
but left the ash
and wrappers

i wish she stole the echoes

now I spend the days feeling dizzy
A head rolling on top of shoulder
Acid in my ******* mouth

It’s a little too familiar
For my taste

i guess this is how it's supposed to work
i keep writing
and writing
and spewing worthless ****
that's been said thousands of times before
but i can't do anything else
i need to empty myself
i need to feel something
i, i, i, i, i,
always about me
that's all i know
and even that i don't understand much at all
me, me, me, me, me
***** me
i am loved
i am worth it
but ****** do i want to be?
all these ties are supposed to keep me from falling
but they're dragging me down
little bows and red strings
from my heart
i wish i was alone
i wish these thoughts would end

what am i doing? here? with my life? where am i going? why do i always want to die? am i one of the people meant for longevity? am i one of the people meant for young tragedy? am i meant to be here? why do i have all these questions? and why do they never stop pestering me? is this my life? does this qualify as living? as existing? will i be gone soon? do i want to be? does this ever end? what is wrong with me? what is right with me? will it always be this way? why? WHY?

i don't have a ******* clue.  but you smell like vanilla, so i'll hold onto that.

greasy hair
sticky legs
prickly
sweaty
burning in the rays
of their stares
she's ugly,
pretty,
smart,
******* weird,
invisible
(who is she?)
where is her place in this world?
(away from us)
God, it's hard to speak,
breath,
be
she wants to go home now
(where is that?)
tired eyes
ragged nails
messy messy messy
(take her to the landfill)
her chariot awaits
calloused hands
hold on tight

here I am writing about boys I don't even know
that I have never known
that I will never know
just because I want more to scream about
I need another volunteer
another silly boy who think charms work on witches,
on the charming,
on the weird girls who don't say much of anything
who's looks aren't much of anything
silly boy
I will get you
and you'll hold on tight when it's time for you to go
just another experiment in heartbreak
and love
and all its placebo effects
we make winners into failures here
underdogs into the stars of our hearts
they told me I'd be a heartbreaker
they could see
me
without the pretenses
because pretty girls die young,
smart girls age poorly,
and the average get played by silly boys
in the worst kind of way
a trifecta is a man-killer
so come closer, silly boy
let's play