heavy drips rise from unseen
mind that boggles spaceless theme —seems to escape
i cannot keep it in my frame
the reference begins to blur
as does my conscience of this room
i am and the picture is, that's about how much i can handle
by climbing up i managed to go under
wait, ***** that, i'm going back.

I had been a straight pathway
you came and brought the stairs
I didn't meet you once —
I hadn't met you for years

I had been closed and *******
you caused me to unfold
you're the deus ex machina
to my rotten world

how can I be unhappy if she has so much fun with me?
if I make her laugh so hard, how bad can I be?
how can I be lonely with this esoteric stuff?
how can I not love myself if she just can't get enough?

I'm great, I'm sweet, I'm awesome!
I'm great — I'm overjoyed!

it's the best kind of people
that make us feel so much fun
at the moment of all beings
they seem to need just one

me.
me alone.
oh, how great I am!

laughter is a mask
a clever cover of mind
crack up for a while
then die inside

joke is a button
a turn-off for the brain
it helps you get through
mindless silly game

spit it out, live it off
so as not to fade away
anti-matter of emotion
a force too long kept at bay

you say "stop it, keep in touch!"
do you want me to die?
everyone's got their means of coping
this is mine.

8 AM and I'm all in love with you
the sun is shining and the flowers seem to bloom
the night has left my soul a clean slate
the woes of yesterday have become out of date
in shower I discover the vastness of my dreams
my hopes and wishes prosper as the day begins
today is tomorrow — I'm gonna start anew
today is the first day which I won't just get through

--

but as events unravel, there are no miracles
I visit the same places, I'm stuck with the same fools
and you would think that by now I should've understood
that nothing ever changes, nothing's ever good
refused to follow the herd — I'm a straying sheep
the heart in my stomach says it is time to sleep
but bed is not yet ready, time is not yet up
I feel my times with means to cover the big gap

--

mind-numbing lasts a while, but as distractions shrink
and as I try to fall asleep, my mind is bound to think
this should be a water bed from all the tears it binds
this should be a deathbed — I've died here so many times
I close my eyes at last — oh, what a day I've had
with all of these emotions — hopeful, empty, sad
it's off to a quiet world with no fears and no pain
tomorrow — it will start all over again.

I'm tired of half-measures
I'm tired of fake joys
happiness is spotless
or happiness is void

don't tell me I must wait
it'll all be worthwhile soon
light up the sun at midnight
or let it die at noon

I want eternal bliss
I want to reach the sky
so either give me means
or say it means i die.

the flow
the society's eternal goal
mindless show for senses
enslavement for soul.

splash is all the effort
I use it to crush waves
all becomes trash when there's no escape.
'sider them mundane
you're still on the shelf
breaking out a cliché is a cliché in itself.

we cannot all disperse
we cannot stay in place
reclusive - an evil curse
society's disgraced.

a shame,
the river flows.
I pledge to crash on banks
some will reach the muds and dry
most will stay inside

better die alone with vows
than splash - the river flows.

I wish I could wake up in a better world
I wish I could wake up anew
I hope that when the sheets unfold
I'll be there with you

I dream — in my dreams I can always feel
how everything fits into place
oh, don't tell me it is not real
the kiss and the embrace

asleep? — it matters not where it takes place
everything coming to be
the next day when the sun is raised
it will stay with me

and tomorrow we'll be together again
if only for the length of night
and there will not be any pain
when you're in my sight.

phony helps have I resisted
conscience trapped me in a cage
I'd hate God if he existed
all I've got is growing rage

blessed be the ignorant blind
for they get drunk with life more
every move they can rewind
every state they can restore

I'm so tired of guiding lights
so I pay for comprehension
life is but a roll of dice
there is no redemption

it's easier to fall asleep
than wake up to such a life
people are ******* sheep
and I have no drive.

wish you were here.
wish you wanted to.
wish you were my fishbowl, so that i could see you through.

will you drown me in the sweetness and the wholeness of your soul?
will you share some of your water so that i can breathe at all?

i'm a fish, a lost soul, all that i can see is you.

do you think you could love me, too?

oh, where are the blue skies?
all i can see is pain.
if you are to be my sunshine, why do you tend to bring rain?

where are the sweet gestures,
words of love that seem so true?
how i wish that you were here,

how i wish you wanted to.

you're the reason I laugh
you're the reason I cry
you're the reason I breathe
and that I want to die.
you're the purpose I have
stimulant that I feel
of all the conceivable things
you are the most real.

you're the should and the shouldn't
the must and the can't
you're the star I would follow
anywhere that she went.
for you I set up a clock
(the one in my brain)
that counts down to the moment
I'm gonna see you again.

I sleep for you,
dream for you,
wake and get up.
I'm honest,
I lie,
I start and I stop.
I take the right path for hope that you are on,
I ask everyone to find out where you've gone,
I follow you,
search for you,
look at what you see.

and in the end, I do this all for me.