heavy drips rise from unseen
mind that boggles spaceless theme —seems to escape
i cannot keep it in my frame
the reference begins to blur
as does my conscience of this room
i am and the picture is, that's about how much i can handle
by climbing up i managed to go under
wait, ***** that, i'm going back.

I had been a straight pathway
you came and brought the stairs
I didn't meet you once —
I hadn't met you for years

I had been closed and *******
you caused me to unfold
you're the deus ex machina
to my rotten world

how can I be unhappy if she has so much fun with me?
if I make her laugh so hard, how bad can I be?
how can I be lonely with this esoteric stuff?
how can I not love myself if she just can't get enough?

I'm great, I'm sweet, I'm awesome!
I'm great — I'm overjoyed!

it's the best kind of people
that make us feel so much fun
at the moment of all beings
they seem to need just one

me.
me alone.
oh, how great I am!

laughter is a mask
a clever cover of mind
crack up for a while
then die inside

joke is a button
a turn-off for the brain
it helps you get through
mindless silly game

spit it out, live it off
so as not to fade away
anti-matter of emotion
a force too long kept at bay

you say "stop it, keep in touch!"
do you want me to die?
everyone's got their means of coping
this is mine.

8 AM and I'm all in love with you
the sun is shining and the flowers seem to bloom
the night has left my soul a clean slate
the woes of yesterday have become out of date
in shower I discover the vastness of my dreams
my hopes and wishes prosper as the day begins
today is tomorrow — I'm gonna start anew
today is the first day which I won't just get through

--

but as events unravel, there are no miracles
I visit the same places, I'm stuck with the same fools
and you would think that by now I should've understood
that nothing ever changes, nothing's ever good
refused to follow the herd — I'm a straying sheep
the heart in my stomach says it is time to sleep
but bed is not yet ready, time is not yet up
I feel my times with means to cover the big gap

--

mind-numbing lasts a while, but as distractions shrink
and as I try to fall asleep, my mind is bound to think
this should be a water bed from all the tears it binds
this should be a deathbed — I've died here so many times
I close my eyes at last — oh, what a day I've had
with all of these emotions — hopeful, empty, sad
it's off to a quiet world with no fears and no pain
tomorrow — it will start all over again.

I'm tired of half-measures
I'm tired of fake joys
happiness is spotless
or happiness is void

don't tell me I must wait
it'll all be worthwhile soon
light up the sun at midnight
or let it die at noon

I want eternal bliss
I want to reach the sky
so either give me means
or say it means i die.