You left for too long. My memory of you dimmed with the feeling in my heart. It laid there- dormant for months. I erased your voice from my thoughts and the feeling of your arms around me was replaced by a spring breeze. Your habits became forgotten, your face- a picture tucked away. I tried to find equivocation of the joy I felt from being around you.
Something about you stayed locked in my mind, and was awoken the day that I needed to find you. The scent of your shirt when I wrapped you in my arms as I hid from the world in yours. Words only come slowly now. Like the words of a Gregorian chant, they are few in number and ring on long after the voice has stopped. Fatigue of my body has led to words to come in only small quantities, but there will be strength, something will give. The moon will stay out a little longer to provide for more sleep and for more words to be dreamt onto the paper of my mind.
My mind gropes at the darkness for a fleeting memory of you as the lights go down. My eyes search my subconscious as my body moves me in my sleep. I can almost feel your arm around my waist and your hand in my hair when I come to the realization that you're not there, it was just me tugging on the sheets. The moisture of your kiss was nothing but tears on my cheek. Your chest was just my pillow and your voice was just the rain at my window.

Only words will keep my head above water as I drown in my thoughts and feelings. When does the vicious cycle of words turning into wounds turning into spears that stab your heart and your voice then retaliates with words that turn into wounds... when does it end? I keep these feelings of defeat to myself because they need not be spoken in order to be heard. Just look into my eyes and you will see behind the tears that my heart has been robbed of the love that it has given so selflessly, never to have gotten it back in return... For love I would not give my life but for the one I love would my life be turned in for.
I would lay down my life if only my words would be heard because they are what give me my life and had I not have words with which to articulate my heart, so I would not have any life worth living. If my words were as lost as I was, I would be nothing, but it is because I am lost that my words have merit. Should I be found and in my words find myself, then my words and therefore my life will be of worth.
But if nothing comes of it, then I know that I still did my best to convey the messages that pass my mind on a daily basis and the fact that I even transposed my thoughts onto a piece of paper will be worth something. So if something that was lost is now found to never have been lost before, it only simply needed to be discovered, then these words will find purpose and break that cycle of the ones that constantly get caught in the whirlpool of water and broken glass and be arranged in a stained window that the sun will shine through and give just a little bit of clarity among the chaos.

When you feelin like you got nowhere to turn, think of me.
I'll be right there when you call to fulfill your every need.
And I'll be there when you fall so I'm able to stop the bleeding
I'd give my last breath so that you can you can keep on breathing.

Deep inside, to survive I know that I'd need you
So if you were gone from this earth in spirit I'd be gone too.
When you're in need of a soldier, I'll be right there to hold you
No need for startin over, I'll hold your place for you.

Never doubt that I would take a bullet to the chest
Never doubt that in my life you're above the rest.
You have the power to bring out the better part of me
And when it's down to the wire, I want you on my team.

They say you never know what you got until its gone,
But I already know what you're worth, I don't need to be alone.
Cause when I'm with you, I'm home, it doesn't matter where I am
As long as we got each other, then we got a master plan.

So take my hand, close your eyes, and through the sky we'll fly
I could be your everything as long as you'll be mine.
I would never tell your secrets, in me you can confide
Alicia Keys said we're unbreakable, cause I'm your ride or die.

I think you are less than adequate to handle it-
my womaness, I mean.
Like a lioness, my womaness will bring home
dinner to the family and run ****, trust me.
I am the queen of my concrete jungle
& as I pass by passerby's will bow.
I may be a queen, but there's no need for 'your Highness',
just call me 'your Flyness'.
Because I am fly,
even when you try to deny me and my fellow woman.
We are all meant to be queens by our own means.

But we can't be queens without our kings.
We'll take you to be the co-pilot of our kingdom
if we think that you can handle it.
"What does that mean?" you ask.
Gentlemen, it means that
you can keep your pride in check with checks and balances,
let me do my job while you do yours
& handle me, with love and care.
Respect the boundaries that I have set
for our pride and ride the tide with me.
There will always be trials and triumphs.
But That's just life, baby.

But you can be my king so long as
you can let me be the queen that I am.
My womaness is my greatness in my step
from my thighs to my lips
from my hair to my fingertips,
the wisdom of my intuition and the depth of my soul.
This is the finesse of my womaness.
We are just too fabulous to describe.
Do you think I'm crazy?
Maybe so, but like I said:
something told me you're less than adequate to handle it-

my womaness, that is.

(TO MY FIFTH GRADERS)
Keep your eyes always towards the sky.
You don't want your dreams to pass you by.
Even though you may not have wings,
you can always learn to fly.
Learn to love, learn to dream,
learn to appreciate the little things.
Learn that everything is not always what it seems:
The world is full of pain, and you can correct it all,
but be there for the ones you love,
and catch them when they fall.
Give them wings, teach them to fly
being them to the clouds where your dreams reside.
Show them the beauty of this world
with every star in the sky.
Each one as different as every one of you,
Your own unique light, your own unique truth.
When you come together like the stars out in space,
Your light comes together to shine on this place
we call the world. In the darkest night
You are the shining light.
The stars in the sky match the light in your eyes.
You got it from somewhere, so I know you can fly.
You even have wings, though you might not see them
They're on your heart, should you ever need them.
They fuel your dreams, give you something to believe in
The world needs your to take your dreams, and be them.
You are the rose that will grow through the concrete.
You may not know exactly what I mean
but in time you will, as long as your dreams you fulfill.
And in fulfilling your dreams, Do the right thing.
It won't always be easy, but at least you'll have your wings.
So dream, learn, love and live,
Because you have everything and more to give.