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 Apr 2011 flavia kurz
Ruth Walker
you

always you
my mind always finds it way back to you
you who was my first taste
my first touch, my first all consuming fire
we had our passion in the darkness
and our romance in the light
you were a magnet, I was steel
and try as I might, I could not fight

you

it was a tug, then a pull, then a force to be reckoned with
and once we collided that was it
we were twisted and tangled together
we were a knot that couldn’t come undone
we pushed and pushed and pushed together
till I didn’t know where my heart ended and your hand began

you

the months passed and still we held
we intertwined our bodies and souls
it was sweet and it was right
it was the bond that sealed our fate
for we created a spark inside me
I felt a new life for the first time
and cried “oh God what is this?!”

you

we thought we were mountains
and our eyes could see what loomed on the horizon
we could see what was in front of us
but we should have looked below
our mountain was on quicksand
and you were slipping down

you

I watched as you slipped, unable to move
unable to breathe, unable to feel
when all I had was your fingertips to hold on to
I cried “NO! you will not take this from me!”
“you will not rip my heart out with you!”
but you did anyway
you still have pieces of it under your fingernails

you

you who were once my confidant
my passion, my lover
you who once inspired words of love
you now inspire words of pain and rage
what I once knew as love was now betrayal
and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

you

you who left me for her
left our blossoming flower to shrivel up and die in the winter
left the heart you once praised as your equal
for a cheap, side show imitation
left me alone on that mountain with that spark in my womb
never to return until you felt like it

you

I see you every time I look in our son’s eyes
the eyes I used to look into and see a world only I could see
the eyes that I can look into now and feel love again
he is the only way I have learned to love you again
but while he is a part of you, he is not you
he is you version 2.0, the new and improved

you

now you will always be a part of me
our bond we sealed will carry on even if you’re not around
because even though I mended my heart
you still took those pieces with you
the difference now is that my heart can beat without

you

— The End —