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Charlie Harman Dec 2016
The air swirls above me a charcoal black tainted with moonlight:
Why am I awake I whisper aloud...
The pills didn't work again,
Time to take more I guess...

1 Pill
        2 Pills
                 3 Pills
                          4 Pills
                                   5 Pills

I remember you said never take 6,
But black is my favorite color, you would know...
6 Pills
The air swirls black around me one last time as my eyes close forever.

*Goodbye
"1 Pill should work, if not take more but please, never take more than 5."
*Why?*
"Because if you take 6 you might fall asleep and never wake up."
*Oh ok, I promise*

Never trust me with the power to control my own life,
For others have controlled it since the day I was born.
  Dec 2016 Charlie Harman
Skaidrum
~
"No one likes your poetry because they don't understand it."

"Congratulations, welcome to reality."
.
I write for the soul fading out of my own skin.
I am not a popular poet.
Charlie Harman Dec 2016
Get out of my house!
I hate you...
You won't go anywhere you **** idiot!
I don't understand...why father do you hate *me?


You see my mind is as scarred as my wrists.
Abuse
That word is more family then my father.
Failure
Its my middle name.
Mistake
I am one.

His words leave open wounds on my mind,
Fresh blood oozing through the cracks in my mask.

Hey I'm fine I promise!
I'm fine!
I'm...
I......


I'm scarred and this is my story.
Charlie Harman Nov 2016
My decisions have shaped me,
They have been decisive in my life.

Deciding whether or not I'd take the cigarette,
Whether or not I'd take the shot.


Decisions make up half of your life,
The other half is out of your control.

I Didn't decide to have an abusive father,
One who hits me, bruises me, breaks me.


But here I am, an angel fallen from heaven,
Wings broken not by my own decisions but by others.
Charlie Harman Nov 2016
Can you feel it?
The Moons tears?
Falling onto your face...
Touching your soul...

With a heart broken so many times,
It's a wonder you haven't...

Can you feel it?
The Moons tears?
Catching in your hair...
Sparkling in your eye...

Take my hand if you want to live,
Because I know I do...

Can you feel it?
The Moons tears?
Filling your heart...
Leaving no holes...
Charlie Harman Nov 2016
10:00 P.M. "Goodnight mom, goodnight dad!"

11:00 P.M. ZZZZZ

12:00 A.M. Awake with a start, can not sleep, go for a walk.

12:36 A.M. Arrive home, go back to bed, still unable to sleep.

1:06 A.M. Pop pop papapappapappapa pop pop pop
What was that noise? gunfire? No not in Urbandale, impossible.
From mother and fathers room, "That was gunfire...should we call the police? no someone else probably has lets go back to bed..."

5:40 A.M. "Ring Ring Ring"  *Two police officers were killed ambush style, one on 70th and Aurora the other on Merle Hay and Sheridan.
30 Minutes is all it takes for things to turn south I guess...
Charlie Harman Oct 2016
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me...no more...

Sometimes song lyrics are so truthful,
They tell the story of my life they really do..

I am broken in two you know this,
Don't you?
Perhaps I don't show it well enough.
But I know if i did you'd call me crazy and leave...

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me...no more...

Even the simplest things hurt sometimes,
A single misspoken word sends chills down my spine,
I know I'm not perfect, don't try and tell me I am.
I'll never believe you because my whole life I have been misunderstood and ugly.


What is love?
Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me...no more...
Love can hurt
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