My decisions have shaped me,
They have been decisive in my life.

Deciding whether or not I'd take the cigarette,
Whether or not I'd take the shot.

Decisions make up half of your life,
The other half is out of your control.

I Didn't decide to have an abusive father,
One who hits me, bruises me, breaks me.

But here I am, an angel fallen from heaven,
Wings broken not by my own decisions but by others.

Can you feel it?
The Moons tears?
Falling onto your face...
Touching your soul...

With a heart broken so many times,
It's a wonder you haven't...

Can you feel it?
The Moons tears?
Catching in your hair...
Sparkling in your eye...

Take my hand if you want to live,
Because I know I do...

Can you feel it?
The Moons tears?
Filling your heart...
Leaving no holes...

10:00 P.M. "Goodnight mom, goodnight dad!"

11:00 P.M. ZZZZZ

12:00 A.M. Awake with a start, can not sleep, go for a walk.

12:36 A.M. Arrive home, go back to bed, still unable to sleep.

1:06 A.M. Pop pop papapappapappapa pop pop pop
What was that noise? gunfire? No not in Urbandale, impossible.
From mother and fathers room, "That was gunfire...should we call the police? no someone else probably has lets go back to bed..."

5:40 A.M. "Ring Ring Ring"  *Two police officers were killed ambush style, one on 70th and Aurora the other on Merle Hay and Sheridan.

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me...no more...

Sometimes song lyrics are so truthful,
They tell the story of my life they really do..

I am broken in two you know this,
Don't you?
Perhaps I don't show it well enough.
But I know if i did you'd call me crazy and leave...

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me...no more...

Even the simplest things hurt sometimes,
A single misspoken word sends chills down my spine,
I know I'm not perfect, don't try and tell me I am.
I'll never believe you because my whole life I have been misunderstood and ugly.

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me...no more...

Alcohol is the devils brew,
I will never drink beer,
I will never get wasted...

His breath is sour,
His voice is raised,
My cheek stings from a slap...

Poison spills from his lips,
Alcohol spills from his bottle,
Fire spills from his eyes...

Though I can't blame him,
His father beat him as a child,
He grew up with it...

Shut the **** up you mother ******* liar!
I didn't do it dad I swear!
Shut the **** up I know you did!

Running,
Panting,
Crying...

I fall in the snow,
I can't feel my feet,
My hands are bloodied...

Alcohol is the devils brew,
I will never drink beer,
I will never get *wasted...

There is so much more to me than meets the eye,
I’m like a punch bowl spiked with too much liquor.
One mixed drink later and my feelings are all over the place,
Bipolar, ADD, Depression...All these labels on me.

“Are you ok?”
Yes of course
“You sure?”
Yes! (No)

Depression hits me like a train sometimes,
Just out of the light and into the blue.
I mean, I am like the train in a sense,
My problems can’t find room on the inside anymore so they cling to me on the outside…

“Are you ok?”
Yes of course
“You sure?”
Yes! (No)

My tears fall like rain from my clouded eyes,
It’s not drought season yet dear.
When will it be?
Will it ever be?

“Are you ok?”
Yes of course
“You sure?”
Yes! (No)

It’s finally light outside,
The clouds are gone.
“Hey you? Wanna go for a ride?”
“Sure just hold on!”

“Are you ok?”
Yes of course
“You sure?”
Yes!
This time I am...

In every dream I have you are there, awash with silver moonlight...
Your eyes shining like stars in our own personal universe,
Our fingers intertwine like galaxies webbed with love and longing.
Our bodies pull closer to each other with the strength of black holes, whilst our lips meld together like new suns.
We stay like this orbiting each other until morning comes...