I like looking in the mirror when I cry
I feel the most beautiful then
Not physically
Not with the red nose and blood shot eyes

I feel beautiful for one reason
because this is when i am raw
I become exposed emotionally
Allowing everyone to see my flaws

When I cry it reminds me
  I'm human
I have feelings
And it's OK to set them free

When I show the emotions I feel
that's when i feel most vulnerable
but it's also when I feel most powerful
for I am allowing myself to be real

And that's beautiful

Gin. That’s where it starts.
The squinted eyes and mumbled speech
I go too far I know
I can barely see where I am going
and you cannot understand a word I say

But these are just a side effect of my confidence
which happens to come in a bottle
Do you think I’d be talking to you,
kissing you,
loving you, without the gin?
Of course not

Falling in love with strangers is the love I feel
So yes I need the gin.
I need the gin to be able to converse
and kiss
and go home with strangers
So I can feel something

You go ahead and find a nice boy who will romance you
But me, I’ll be leaning on a bar,
flirting with boys who buy me drinks

You go ahead and make love
i’m content with my one night stands.
I’m sure he could love me if he knew me

You go ahead and fall in love and get married.
I’m lucky, because you fell in love once
I fall in love every Friday night,

Saturday night… sometimes Wednesday nights

You see, for me, gin is love