this choke to make you feel
light-headed
the half-naked girl standing in front of me
i smiled
the lips, awaiting one unfortunate
gripping of tongue
this december fueled by hindrances
in a week we might call
a year
i know
i know why you color your hair
half-red
its fires sweep what's left
of the suffocating oxygen
as if stuck between the walls
of two houses
i know
i know that everytime you undress
its meant to entice an embrace
that will clothe the skin permanently
no more drunk messages in the wee hours of the morning
to wake up nightmares our optimistic eye would see
as a redemtption in waiting
the alcohol bottles you sleep with (you need to put yourself to sleep with) quietly put to the side
you can rest now
this december needs you
the cold cannot be felt without your heat

storm ranges blitzing
the animal crossing
of your skin
while the faint smell of gin
lingers
couched, soft stomach dispensing
each nicotine hit you blaze
the eyes pierce sharp
butterfly leverage and the sword
between your skin
makes me faint
oh, black sweater madness
in this hour of midnight

I'm worried that
loneliness
is the only thing
I am fond of

We were there
even before the universe fell into place
Star-crossed lovers
Two eventualities collide in the backdrop
of an ever expanding space

It's hard to say this but
I'm happy we decided
to let go of each other

It was 2 p.m.
and it was raining
Slipped between my
lips is a cigarette
I bought for five pesos
And as I drag the hit
burning the tobacco
inside the white, rolled
paper of slow death
The mist produced by
a collision of raindrops
and hard surfaces
reach parts of my body
Cold, goosebumps prepare me
for a slight shiver


It seems odd


Odd enough that I take another
batch of poison gas
Throwing myself more into
a void or a sanctuary or a
jail cell for the ******
Looking up, the clouds
were a mix of blurry vision
and felt like a dark premonition
Something's about to happen
It wouldn't rain so hard if it didn't


Back then


Back then I remembered an incident
where I journeyed towards home
I kept waiting for my mother or
maybe it was a guardian of old
Move me back to my sheltered existence
No one was there this time
My heart, pulsating both in frustration
and fear kept me from collecting
myself; same with the raging pouring
of the rain, shattering liquid into
tiny droplets
Courage seemed to avoid me until
that moment
Moments putting us into a corner
And all we could do is to cross
the line between restless indecision
and frantic action


I guess it wasn't enough


Releasing the final moments of carbon monoxide
I slip back into the place where my body is
fixed upon
People playing chess, a woman walking in defeat,
men hurrying and scuttling their things
protecting them of the indignation
I walk back inside and I sit as do everybody else in
the room
Divided by a green piece of wood
Encapsulated in their own little bits of happiness
Sometimes, colliding with others
Mostly, alone
Clicking insanely
as we always do

in riches or poor
valiant increases of fervor
flow through incandescent lights
waiting to be filled
with something bright or honest
honest as the birds in flight
justified through means of tender care
and unending honesty

Even then i remember
each step my fragile body
stumbles upon
shivers and shuddering winters
between my thighs
oh how you warm them up
like supernova sunshines

carefully placed inside flaccid muscles
waiting to be fulfilled
overwhelmed by faces
concrete buildings
bundled into
unnerving kaleidoscopes of beautiful
spectacles of thought

space; sets of evenly matched colors
flow unto trembling tremors of tactless thought
random, rambling, rancid odors
and in the end
precisely splitting atoms
hydrogen bombs
exploding
imploding
my brain, humbled
my soul, fulfilled