I'm a paradox
I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad
I'm lazy, yet I'm ambitious
I don't like myself, but I also like who I am
I say I don't care, but I really do
I crave attention, but I reject it when it comes my way
I'm a conflicted contradition
If I can't figured myself out, there's no way anyone else has.

I want to know how many scars you have
And memorize the shape of your tongue.
I want to climb the curve of your lower back
And count your vertebrae
Your ribs
Your fingers
Your goose bumps
I want to chart the topography of your anatomy
And be fluent in your body language
I want you, entire

It is both a blessing
And a curse
To feel everything
So deeply

I wanna sleep
but I'm not tired
and I wanna tell someone
but I can't
they all think I'm happy
but they're wrong
because dad is mad
and mom is sad
and best friend's busy
and the weather is moody
and I'm just filled
with nothing but anxiety
and I really wanna sleep
but I still awake
and still not tired

And it hurts that I can't be
what everyone wants
or what anyone needs
And it hurts that I cant't be
what I want
what I need
Because I'm not enough
and I won't be enough
and I'll won't be close to enough
and I'm just so **** tired

It isn't like I had a choice
But I don't want to die with this
Vast galaxies has constantly growing inside me Unexplored even  for me
And I'm falling and falling
Till I die

She is delightfully chaotic
A beatiful mess
Loveing her is a splendid adventure

I'll spend all night looking into your eyes
Because I want to remember them
if I ever fall blind
We could jump in the ocean
and sink like stones
But that's ok with me baby
'cause I'll be next to your bones