i am broken and scattered across seven continents
but give me time;

just a second
to gather myself;

you’ve got me stuck in the empty spaces
between the pages that nobody talks about
and i can’t write because my fingers are broken
and my hands are so numb

and all my melodies fall flat
because i can’t spin a beautiful cloth out of
this ugly tale

nothing can thaw me;

wasn’t it yesterday that
you held my hand at a crossroads
and told me
love,
it doesn’t matter where we go
as long as i’m with you.

and the winds were harsh and my heart was cold
but i want to say you were right.

"love,
it doesn’t matter;
as long as i’m with you."

but i’m not with you
and i’m floating
because my hands have gotten used to
the cold
but my vision is blurred and i think
i’m chronically dizzy because
you probably took a piece of my mind when you left

why did you leave?

i am going through the motions,
and i am breathing again
but nothing feels real anymore
and i can’t even tell if you ever really existed.

i am giving him the tools to dismantle me,

and i can’t

stop letting him hurt me.

you are always a word
colour-coded love on my page
a story i don't know how to write.

and i always try to because
the pain caught in my throat
has always weighed me down

and it
doesn't matter anymore that the words don't make sense
because when they are on the page
and i am bleeding
you are out of my system;

but i always find another word.

there is no honesty in my tears

when my brow is furrowed and my lower lip trembles,
i am trying to tell you

there is a whole war inside my head.

but no matter how much i know
that stab wounds hurt,

the blood is never real.