You watch, standing coldly there
with eyes that seem to scream and stab.
Compassion and sympathy-none to spare;
what I once was now a scab.

Tears roll onto my lips, stinging and cracked
yet closed my swollen eyes stay.
Weaving in and out the color rips,
my mind tells cruel stories to my heart, astray.
And yet when you do I’ll expect it,
As pain never leaves but instead deepens.
Oh, but I would-
if it would but
take pleading grace
The pain that should-
Leave this place…
I would.

Down and under is where it hides;
farther and farther, burying itself
at the heart of the coldest stone resides;
hardly fitting to sit on any one shelf.
Yet there and forever it will seethe,
growing deeper and hotter, melting its sheathe.
Look harder and harder; learn
to see the rips and tears that bleed
for no one else ever will find them there.

The words in my head are jumbled
and there are so many things that I wish I could say
but I can't remember.

The sun promises renewal each day
and I wake up and believe
but it lies to me.

My family is so far away
however, for once I feel the possibility of peace
though I know it won't last.

Time shifts and moves quickly
and with each passing year I grow
and my home compass rotates.

Fear build and climbs
in my throat as this journey ends
I'll have to go back to my family soon.

Define family, cause I feel I'm already there
fake family is where I have to return
it makes me feel sick.

What am I going to do?
Go on just like I used to?
Be that pretend person,
waiting in that pretend home...alone.

Every hole in every head
is washed by the rain.
On the street that bleeds
and the air that captures the ringing scream as it leaves,
As footsteps fade
‘cause they won’t ever sound again.
Fingers stay closed and clenched around the cold metal;
the memory of the very last thought,
the very last feeling.
Written and stamped there on that one finger
Saying:
I’m not good enough!
You ruined me, give up, I’m gone!
Shut up!!! I won’t listen, I can’t!
I’m broken, don’t look back ‘cause, ****, it’s too late!
Don’t try ‘cause I can’t be fixed!
God ****** leave me alone!
You didn’t love me so don’t ******* lie, I’m not dumb!
Why?
There’s no reason for me to live…
I give up, there’s nothing left
I’m hated and no one cares…
I’m nothing but a simple waste of space.
I tried, really I did!
But now…I’m gone, I’m broken, I’ve died.
And it’s your fault so goodbye!
The thoughts are screamed inside, shaking and pained and angry,
as their hearts, heads and emotion pump and speed,
until they are consumed and explode.
And away the blood flows and the body stiffens-
And another broken heart stops beating-
A pained soul walks away.
Gone to where ever it is that they go.
Leaving behind tortured minds,
Left wondering and blaming.
Like the stupid and ignorant creatures they are;
Because they should have known…
They should have known about the burning and screaming and tearing that was going on in front of them.
Right in front of their eyes!
Inside you.
It didn’t have to happen,
But it did because no one saw-
The hole that was already there-
…Until you made one for them to see.