the thought of someone elses lips against yours makes me sick to my stomach. i cannot fathom the mental torture it would put me through if i found out whos finger tips trailed your pale torso. it would tear my stability limb from limb and leave me utterly and pathetically alone. every night i set a fire in my head thinking about you. i shed unwanted tears until im physically weak. i love you more than anything in the world, this including myself. when you fall in love, i know it wont be with me.. and that destroys every cell in my body. i want nothing more than for you to be happy but i am a selfish human being and i want to be the only reason why you smile. im more than in love with you, -. its really sad and pathetic, i know. but this flame at the pit of my stomach burns for you and it will not die and that is the pathetic truth.

I spent my whole life,
Pushing people like you away,
And I spent my whole life putting pieces of my heart back together.
Stitching up and sealing everything in.

So, I wouldn't feel my insides travel up to my throat,
Creating a lump so big I couldn't breathe.
So, I wouldn't have tears blur my vision before I go to bed,
And so I wouldn't feel the emptiness in my arms,
And the pounding in my head.

But I guess,
I didn't do a very good job,
Because you, and only you,
Happened to find a place,
So deep in my heart,
That I didn't entirely close up.

And now,
You are ***** to me,
And I am drinking in every ounce of you,
And I can't get enough.

And as your eyes,
Your smile,
Your laugh,
Rapidly spread and run throughout my veins,
I feel at bliss,
And I want more.

But I am not ***** to you,
Like you are to me.

My eyes,
My smile,
My laugh,
Don't run throughout your veins,
Like you do mine.

I want to be the cause of,
The blood pusling fast throughout your veins,
And the skipping beats in your heart,
And the hot rush in your cheeks as you get nervous.

I want to be the cause of,
The curves in your smile,
And the tightness in your hugs,
And the glistening in your eyes.

But I am not ***** to you,
I will never be drunk to my last ounce,
I will never swim through your veins.

I will be an unopened bottle,
Resting and waiting in your cabinet,
Until my expiration date slowly nears.