i need to sleep.

or maybe i need to stay awake strictly because my souls screams to sleep.

i need to be complete....in the moment.
allow it. feel the things that come over me.

it is okay, it is acceptable...
to feel these things.

I've never felt this way.
Just as I've never been early to class.
But today, today I am eager.
Just as my heart, my soul.
Skimming over the waves of the sea.
To get to you. To reach your lips. To remember your voice.
To learn a new technique, just as we do in class.
Because today, I am early.

And I've never been early.
But today, eager as ever..
for you.

there is a secret about the way you use words.
you looked me in the eyes. you said "passion fruit".
like it was something you felt during a session of
shared sweat that pours out you from the humidity brought by the rain,
in the dead of night, in the middle of fall.
It's the way the words rolled off of your tongue,
sounded to me like a moan.
A reminder and reason to remember your name.
It made my lips moist when I heard you say this...
I could have swore you painted me a picture of your lips on mine when you spoke these words.
Tell me, is there something secret in the way you looked me in the eyes and proclaimed "passion fruit".

i'm sinking.
drowning, and i am okay.
i'm just trying to understand.
how i can feel this much sadness, how you could stay away.
leave me all too early, arriving all too late.
i am a constant puddle of tears, and i am drowning in the ideas.
of you and i, the time we never spent.

i bet you make all of them fell this way.
just hoping you'd stay.

I thought about getting a tattoo
a small script that read "*******"
I'd tell all my friends, it's deep,
there's a massage there, you can't see
all writen and now inked on my feet.
In hopes that you might see



and never want to **** my feet.

i couldn't tell you when or why it happens
i can only tell you that surely it will.
finding your way to me with the rain
giving mother nature a run of her skill.
and with you it goes.

although it never shows,
the way you do with the rain.
my own storm of feelings...
come and go with strain.

i suppose i do
fall in and out of you
with nothing left to loose
i give into the truce.
hanging on a noose
love once loved, amused.
trying to pull through
can't find it in anyone new.
you always stay so blue.
never telling what is true.
take flight with what's flew.

I am starting to understand that only when it rained did i love you.

I hope you understand how I mean that both literally and metaphorically.





From the deepest part of my poorly poetic soul.

when i met you in the second grade
i knew my life was forever changed.
asking your last name was all i could do.
i hoped that it would forever help this bond of two.
would it start with A or C?
that would not put you next to me.
maybe K or even F?
what i was hoping for was an S.
yes S.
S would suit me best.
S could find you a seat next to me,
wonder what the second letter of your last name could be.
the teacher announces your name and i fell to the floor.
the letter U had us bound forever more.

so now we are older and we must part
for the very first time since the start.
it isn't something we speak about.
the bond we made without a doubt.
when we met i knew you were made for only me.
i was hoping time away would give you time to see.
all these years and you could have guessed.
i still like your last name the very best.

If you like to tell me maybe,
Or you'd prefer to say nothing to bring peace once again,
It's something I've learned to live with. But this loneliness feels like a sin.
So tell me what you know about love. Or tell me about the things you wish to learn.
All of this still kept up inside of us, and time doesn't wait as leaves began to turn.  
If you'd like to tell me maybe, if you'd prefer to say nothing at all...
Time would not allow the feelings to change, summer fades and now it's fall.

i do love you,
as sure as i am the skies are blue.
forever melting at your hands.


if one day the waters of our planet dry,
the tops of trees become our horizon lines
as a jealous green becomes the artist of the sky.

so i will love you,
love you blue, love you green.
as sure as i am of the sky.
i will love you through.

The art of ignoring your heart.
feeling it break and wanting more.

The art of bearing the sadness daily.
When you could drown in it.

Sometimes I want to drown it.

you made me a c.d
actually a set of three
i play them on repeat
wondering if every song was for me
i hoped it could be

soon i will leave,
and what was meant to be
is something i never see

maybe i pushed you away
leading her to you that day

it's something i'll never stop
a beating heart for you until i drop.

you are to me

to me, you exactly are.

a hand gesture with hidden motives.
a stretch with secret implications.
a car full of smoke.
a sunday night.

If you can even wrap your mind around the inevitable truth; most of the time the way other people feel has nothing to do with you. To come to the realization that the power I have over you is truly so small. If any at all. I'd like to be the reason you smile. The reason you get angry. Ultimately I'd like for you to affect me, and I'd love to affect you.

it's as if the mist had brought the words you
whispered on my lips

"be with me"

waves crashing on the shore
as the winds took over your mind
the stars as our only witness
suddenly you were mine

you left today. and with you the rain.
the skies cleared, and the wind withered away.
just like that you're gone.

sending praise to the sky for showering me.
making the once frozen droplets fall on my face.
where it is needed. although most when you left.
will you return, and with you the rain?

please clouds, bring back the rain.