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Moment of silence for the girl you used to be.
You can wave goodbye, that girl is history.
We're still climbing up the same **** wall,
bracing ourselves for the inevitable fall,
ignoring the chance of losing it all.
Standing alone as the wind whips my face
Leave me be I'm happy in this place.

Lie.

Silent tortures haunt my soul
Wicked beauties you'll never know.

Naked truth.
The moon shines bright through the window
And sails across your eyes
Turning those small blue oceans
Into soft white pearls
Casting off reflections
Like a fisherman casts a line
Reeling me in closer
Tempting me
Like a baited hook
And suddenly I’m yours
Tangled in your net
I could stay like this forever
Swimming through your oceans
And never come ashore.
New Text Message; 3:03,
read you wanted to see me,
but as you ****** me from behind,
my face was the last thing on your mind.

I know this is what I signed up for,
simply *** and nothing more,
but lately I've been feeling,
my pulse race in anticipation of our next meeting.

Realized I had it in for you bad,
when you mentioned how many other girls you had,
and I smiled, played along, and lied,
pretending you weren't the only guy of mine.

You don't even know the right thing to call me,
when you breathe "Madison" and not "Maddie",
I hate my name,
it's unfitting and plain.

Yet I discovered when your lips form those very sounds that I despise,
if just for a moment, there's nothing I'd rather go by.

To you it's just another night with another girl,
to me it's about more than the way my toes curl.
When you leave, the only thing I have to remember you by,
are your moans echoing in my ears and bruises on my thighs.

You said "this is the best view in the world, I could ******* forever",
like I was the only one who could bring you pleasure,
but I'm aware if it came down to it,
you wouldn't know if my eyes are green or sort of blue-ish.

The sad thing is I'm hanging on to every moment,
I have with you waiting to one day find my spirit broken.
The rain it sounds,
like a great drum pouning.
Thunder growling,
like a trumpet sounding.
The wind is howling,
the skies are clouding,
the people shouting,
awlays doubting.

The heavens pouting,
pouring rain.
Then calm.
He raises up his palm,
blood rushing through his vain.
The world stops,
and jaws drop,
the monstrous storm is slain.

The sun shines through.
The skies are blue.
Grass sparkles with thin dew,
as everything starts anew.
Maybe you were the ocean,
When I was just a storm
Never meant to be here
For very long.
Who are you that I am so unworthy of your time?
Or simply of your glance?
I pity you
And your foolish pride

I pity the weak
I pity the poor
I pity you
And your foolish pride

I pity those too far gone to see the damage they’ve done
To see the bridges they’ve burned
On which they can never return
I pity you
And your foolish pride
I pity you.
Loving you
Is leaving me black and blue
Instead of pretty things
You leave me purple rings
Impressions on my skin
Reminders of where you've been
In this haze of modern delusion,
fights over black, white, or fusion,
what's important is you're losing,
sight of what it means to be human.
The steam of the shower burning.
The knots in my stomach churning.

Scrubbing.
     Scrubbing.
          Scrubbing.

Lather. Rinse. Repeating.

Scrubbing.
     Scrubbing.
          Scrubbing.

Skin is raw and bleeding.
Red water is rising.
But the anxiety's not subsiding.

Skin is raw and bleeding.
But the filth of you remains.
My body you have stained.
Your intentions are clear
and there's no need to fear

Because I can see clear
what you're doing here

You want me to feel bad for you?
Well what happened when I needed you?

The truths behind your forced lies
become all too clear in my eyes

The one person you're desperate to fool
is the one person who can see straight through

Enough is enough I'm walking out.
and leaving you with your ever present doubt.
Sailing by in a boat made of paper
Circus dancers far above the clouds
Trees covered with ribbons
Twisted by the sun

Birds singing forgotten notes
Past reflections of precious moments
Barking at the moon above
Firey breath and fogged up mirrors

Simple words across a page
Gently gliding with the wind
Wicked branches of forelorn beauty
Whispered temptations and unanswered prayers

Drifting slowly under broken bridges
Sailing by in a boat made of paper.
Scars are simply small reminders
That you are alive
And you will survive.
Seeing you happy with her
It kills me inside
But I don’t dare say a word
Behind this smile I hide
Shattered, battered, broken, and bruised
Toyed with, strung along, worn out, and used.
The monotany,
has caught up with me.

I need separation,
independent declaration,
from these divided,
un-united,
people called family.

Try to escape reality.

Waste of conciousness,
so fed up with this.

Done...

Run...

straight into oblivion.
Feet pounding on the pavement.

Trip...

Fall...

Love is the root of revolution.
War is a problem, not the solution.

Quit fighting

and lying

every ******* day.

Get on your knees, fold your hands, and pray.

We should want it to be better.
Blood bonds, strong, hold us together.

Sick of it now.

Sticking it out.
She's a sidewalk sweetheart,
A passerby,
A passenger,
To her own life.
Silence
slipped between
the screen of sense and reason,
seductively sharing secrets
stored deep within
the soul.
Simple things
like porch swings
and sweet teas
make memories.
Hate,
It's as clear as a sign on an iron gate.
It paints the faces of those who embrace it,
And follows those who don't.
It burns down bridges and severs connections,
Costing those for who you had affection.
It fills the heart and blackens the mind.
Once it takes you, you're hard to find.
Balled up fists,
A world of dark mist,
Living on the edge.
You are consumer by this,
Your ever growing list...
But it's too late for you now,
You've already said your unholy vows.
Tear stained eyes
Watch as their dream dies
A wasted life passes
Fallen eyelashes
Soft as butterfly kisses
Collect them all and make your wishes.
Sorry if you failed to see
That what you have isn’t what I need.

I just don’t care about you anymore
Walk your sorry *** through that door.
Standing on the edge of the world
Wind rushing through my hair
I lift up my arms
And cry out to the emptiness before me

The nothingness calls back
My name carried on the breeze
A blatant reminder of the humanity I’ve left far behind

One step further is all it would take
To leave the familiar for good
To fall endlessly into the lonely abyss

Turning a cold shoulder
Closing my eyes
I make my move
One great leap

The blackness consumes me
Swallows me whole
The wind picks back up
A spins me around

I open my eyes
Only to find
I’m sitting on that ledge
Legs swinging in the breeze

Squaring my shoulders
Back facing the wind
I let out a sigh
And a shout of frustration

The world refuses still to let me go
So here I remain
Conscious and pensive
Waiting for my moment
Biding my time.
My mind goes out to reach the brightest star
Past the dark side of the moon
And beyond the constraints of simple things like time
Words fail
As thoughts run free
Let it go
Leave it all behind
Stargazing
Starblazing
Stay fierce
Stay free
Stay passionate
Stay questioning
Stay independent
Stay wild
Stay young
Forever
One foot off the edge,
One step from the ledge.
Stumbling, tumbling, falling down,
Ran right smack into you, what now?
Sugar, satin, and spices
Every girl has her vices
Words slip out like sweet molasses
Time slows down as each one passes
Take me captive in your arms
Each breath you take calms and warms
Let this moment never pass
Love me now, like no one has.
I crave you now,
My sweet addiction.
Wrap you up,
and take a bite.
You're bitter sweet,
My secret delight.
We had a few beers, and then a few more...
The empty box flattened on the floor,
read something like twenty-four.

We danced to made up melodies...
A pair of socks and two bare feet,
shuffled around aimlessly.

"Look at the stars!" you said, staring at the ceiling...
All I saw were cracks and paint peeling,
but I found it was worth believing.
The chorus
And the rhythm
Listen to the rain fall
All through the
Night
The wind
Whistling to the
Tune of the brewing storm
All through the
Night
The bass
Of thunder
Thumping rumbling
All through the
Night
The lights
The flashing
The strobe-ing of lightning
All through the
Night
"Tell it to your pillow honey, no one cares for your sob story."
So I do.
But my words come out mangeled,
Twisted up and tangeled.
I want you to understand,
To show you what I've done,
To know what I 've overcome,
The most trivial things,
And my greatest feats.
But you've gone and met your end,
You'll never hear again.
Now this pillow is my only friend.
The black fly sits on the windowsill
His small wings buzz and invite me close
He patiently waits to see if I will.

He tells me things that I shouldn't know
Forbidden secrets from long ago.

He flies around and lands on the screen
Paints a picture not meant to be seen.

Attention drawn to crumpled pages
He rolls in ink and writes for ages.

Expecting to see nothing left bare
I find only one word written there.

The fly had written just one word"Dream"
If he had left me with nothing more
It's that things aren't always as they seem.
Wooden steps
Creak
Under the weight
Of secrets locked inside.
Sleepless and thoughtful
I can't stop thinking of you
The question of what if creeps through
The darkest shadows of my mind
Slinking through cobwebs
Peeking round corners
It pushes its way forward
Slowly making it through
To front and center stage
It sheds its worn cloak
Dust flies through the light
Showering other thoughts with filth
What If's eyes shine
It begins to dance
Throwing its arms up
Causing a scene
All eyes on it
No use trying to hide
Or to even deny
That What If fills my mind.
The sun sets
on the brokenhearted
girl
down the street.
Sunshine
Hair down
Feet in the sand
This it it
The good life

Birds call
Waves crash
Salt in the air
This is it
The good life

Cold drinks
Bright smiles
Summer livin'
This is it
The good life.
Can’t even breathe
Tripping
Falling
So far down
Sinking now
Six feet under the ground
Shouting
Can’t hear a thing
Deaf to the cries for help
Deaf to the pleas for sanity
Pinch me I’m dreaming
Can’t feel a thing
Numb to the hurt
Numb to the
Cold shoulder
That I’ve turned on the world
Your voice in the back of my mind
Pushing me closer to the edge
Of the knife
Sharpened to a point
Aimed to ****
Ready to cut
Through the tension in the air
Free falling
I’m calling
Out
No service
Just count me
Out
For this round
And round we go
Who’s right anymore?
We don’t even know
I just wanna go
Far away
On an airplane
To a new place
With a new take
On life
Come help me out
Of this hole I’ve dug
Myself into
So far down
Reaching out
Hold me now
Can’t see the stars
Or the hope they bring
Me back
To the way things were
To the way things ought to be
When it seemed like life
Was lived more simply
I’m starving for air
Can’t even think
Suffocating under the pressure
To be
Everything
To carry the weight
Of the world on my back
Turning a blind eye
To the sense I’m losing
Wishing on the stars I’m seeing
Spinning round my head
To grant me strength
To take one last breath
And lift my head
To scream out shamelessly
As I pass into
Infinity.
Trust not in what you see,
But what you feel.
I don't judge you
For believing,
So don't judge me
For not.
There's nothing you can say or do
Convinced I'm as ****** up as you
Have no idea what it's like inside
These four walls that I call my mind
I wish I didn't, if only I could
But god it just, hurts so good
Maybe this is how life goes
Maybe I'm just the last to know.
Nothing can be again quite as it was before
like my thoughts after seeing you lying on the floor
passed out in puddles of **** and *****

Took care of you all night long it's
a shame the things I told you, you'll never remember
or maybe you do and it's easier to play the pretender.

Acting like nothing had happened
protecting your pride
but it speaks volumes that you can't or won't look in my eyes.

We'll never be anything, expect for that night
when I said I loved you, and you said "alright".
Eighteen years of running wild.
One day past being a drugged out child.
Slipping on washed up aspirations.
Now come decisions and contemplations...

Raise the child? Or get it aborted?
But you aren't even self supportive.

Evicted yesterday
Happy Birthday

What happened to the rent money?
******* so white made your nose ******.
Call back home.
On what, a phone?
Don't even have quarters in your pocket,
Had to pawn your favorite necklace locket.

Oh yea, this is it. The glamorous life like in the movies...
Minus the money, and cars, and tan body beauties.
Funny how through the haze of addiction,
You never really see what's missing.

Concrete.
Cold street.
All alone.
Welcome home.
She sits and wonders,
wonders why,
why the rain falls,
and seems to cry.

Sadness flows,
deep from her vains,
and still she wonders why it rains.

As dawn breaks,
the house shakes.

Her heart pounding,
thunder sounding.

The beat goes on,
sure and strong.

It won't be long now,
she knows somehow,
deep within,
there is something,
that's always been,
love everlasting.

And now she watches,
as the storm passes,
her shirt covered,
covered in splotches.

Iis it rain?
Or just her tears?
Why can't she just,
face her fears?

She sits and wonders,
wonders why,
why the rain falls,
and seems to cry.
I want to travel the world
Wanderlust
Off road
Living in the dirt and the dust
Throw the roadmap out of the window
I wanna go where no one’s been before.
You smile your hellos,
you don't really mean it,
you were just raised polite.

I watch, and there it goes,
that chance that I'll never get,
to be your "one" tonight.

But I just want to know,
is it even worth it,
to turn around and fight?

It's like I'm so close
to just calling it quits.
That is what you want, right?

Dressed with ribbons and bows,
your appology's ****.
Change your mind and I might,

Kiss you from head to toe,
whatever you see fit,
just make me feel alright.
So I got to see the ocean,
You always kept me locked away,
But I got to see the ocean,
He showed me just today.

It’s dangerous and dark,
Just like you said to me,
But so beautiful and strong,
Things you said I’d never be.

So when I got to see the ocean,
Never thought I’d find myself there too,
Now I’ll go to see the ocean,
To wash my body clean of you.
Ripping up flowers
Tearing off petals
Shooting down stars
Watching them fall
Snatching up broken dreams
Burying them all

Six feet under
I hope my tears
Drown out the sound
Echoing in your ears
Of screaming and pleading
For all these years

Overgrown weeds
And heavy grey clouds
Even shadows have shadows
Guess everyone has a past

Threw my penny into the well
Well, I guess that didn’t end up too well.
It’s like you were Jack and I was Jill
But it wasn’t Jill who took the spill

It was jack who fell
Under the spell
Of that little girl Jill
Who had the best will

And intentions
Full of questions
Bright eyed
And engaging
Optimistically waiting

For the right guy
To happen on by
Well once she met Jack
She never looked back
And that was that
A fairytale ending

Except that wishing well
Went straight to hell
And that water was poisoned
That penny corroded

Exposing the truth
The ignorance of youth
You weren’t all you seemed
A wolf in sheep’s clothing
Bursting at the seams

The real you came through
But that’s old news

What’s worse is I stayed

Even though day after day
It all was the same
Routine
You think
I would have learned

But I didn’t
And you were only acquitted
When death finally admitted
You to its domain
I hope it rains
Every day
Over your **** grave

And that the most beautiful flowers
Grow just out of reach
Not visible between weeds

And that when the leaves change
And the snow falls
You’re left with nothing
Nothing at all
But the miserable company
Of what’s left of your “love” for me.
Turn your face up to the stars, my dear
Picture yourself falling up, far from here
Drifting higher
A ball of fire
A shooting star
A firefly from inside a jar
You're a weightless wanderer
A philosophical ponderer
Let yourself fly free
Don't think, just be.
Welcome to our home
Where actions don’t speak louder than words
Where silence is a relief
And you’d rather eat alone.

Our “Hellos”
Turn into “Hell no’s”
And there are no hugs and kisses
Only blows and misses.

You learn to slow your breathing
And appear to be asleep
To avoid the shallow apologies
That won’t mean a thing next week.

Welcome to our home
Where you’re summoned and sent away like a dog
Where you wake up in the morning
And you’d rather go to school.

Our friends are always over
Our fridge is always full
Just ask Jack Daniels
We’re his second home.
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