Hurriedly--
everyone on the streets
rush indoors.
Road signs rattle,
loose leaves on trees rustle--
some blow away...
     the sky
     darkens
    and stops...

Cars rush home,
dogs start whimpering,
the air is thick.
    the sky
   darkens
  and stops...

Here I am,
a barefoot stroll
on the warm sidewalk--
my hair twisting and tangled in the breeze
my whole body charging electrically
as the wind walks beside me.

I can't wait 'till I get to the park
near my apartment,
to feel the wet rain-riddled grass
beneath my feet,
tickling
healing...
feeling like myself again.

“I don’t believe in love”
She says

As I speed through a yellow light
She presses her first ******* to her lips
Then touches the roof of my car with them
She shuts her eyes

I don’t ask her why
I just trust her intentions

In the same way I don’t believe in anything myself
Save for the passion that takes hold of others
When they believe

I like what that looks like

The word believe when broken down
First means to live
“Be” means to exist as
Or to live

And “Lieve” means love
And I think about the bravery it takes
To believe in anything
And the bravery it takes to love
And how that same bravery is made by love

How many stupid things have we done
Just by loving someone?

How many arguments are there against a belief
In anything?

I don’t believe in god
But I believe in you

When I watch you do things
Like superstitious knee **** reactions
To keep the light yellow a little longer

So on the ride home I do the same thing
As the sun bends it’s yellow into red over a horizon
That is kissing our sunburnt necks

Because I want this car ride to last a little longer

Even though we say nothing
And you don’t ask why for the last fifteen minutes
I’ve had my fingers pressed to the roof of my car
A satisfied smile pressing back my cheeks

You just trust that I feel this means something

So maybe you don’t believe in love
But you believe in something
And by doing so
You are partaking in love on some weird level
Subconsciously
Like breathing

But I want this car ride to last a little longer
So I say nothing
Let the wind **** the silence like white-noise
It’s as close to prayer
As either of us
Will ever get

She is salty lipped ocean throat
Warm morning fog
Mixing with her overcast

I want to place my head on her treasure chest
Listen to her wet ruby cascade and thump
A metronome for people who dance lightly

She is a mildly ******* mermaid
Born with the deformity of legs

We were all born a little bit broken
I tell her

I know you’re a body of water I want to drown in
When home feels like it’s so much bigger than these four walls
But not much stronger than the skin I’m in

So here’s to jumping off cliffs
With the hope to land a little painfully
So evolution might give me the wings I was meant to be born with

She walks like a riptide
Often risks drowning in the off chance

Nature might be kind enough to understand
What it really means to have sea legs

This is for the soft shelled crab
Who was tired of the heaviness of home

For the mockingbirds who never studied music
So they copy sound
Sometimes really annoying sound
But they hear the beauty regardless

For the Dumbo Octopus
Who clearly watched too much classic Disney

The beluga whale who can crane its neck
When its sonar song of home is not enough
To know their kids are coming back to them

For the penguins
Who are fine being flightless
Because they’d much rather swim

They didn’t think it was stupid
When they wished they could be different

And she is the ocean
Hips sway like a high tide approaching
Hiding sirens’ secrets
Skeletons in her closet
Lovers who have lost
And drown in her pitch black

She wears the water like a second skin
Smiles like the wind is pressing back her cheeks

She chokes on sea water
Drowns a little
With the hope that this place might feel more like home

Sometimes home is the hardest place to get to
But there’s nothing wrong with going home

white walls,
solid empty,
begging to be a canvas.
silent,
ominous,
echoing and reverberating
with the slowly dropping pins of my mind.

lights out,
i call and everything shifts to overdrive.
my pulse is through the roof,
the beating has moved to my ears
as if to drown out the silence.

i'm wondering when the panic stops.

i'm searching for any thing
that bears resemblance to that which is dreamt.
dreams so often confused,
misconstrued,
bent at will to provide us with the most pleasing ideas.
time will only pass,
its up to me,
to us,
to usher them
and

it

is

still

so



EMPTY

You make me so very happy,
Even on days I feel ******.
You make me smile all day long,
You're my natural high, I don't even need a ****.
You give me this feeling I never felt before,
You are the girl I truely adore.
Tomorrow I might get to meet your dad,
Let's just hope this will not go bad.
I'm so nervous and I'm not sure why,
Maybe I should show up extremely high.
That was a joke don't take it serious,
I just thought saying that would be hilirious.
I hope you're having a good nights rest,
Sweet dreams darling, you are the best.

Have you ever cried at night thinking it was bad?
Have you ever lost a love, the only thing you ever had?
Have you ever screamed out loud from the pain you felt?
Have you ever ever stopped and looked at the pain you dealt?
Have you ever questioned someone of love and if it's true?
Have you ever really wondered if they truely feel for you?
Have you ever felt abused or worried while you wait?
Have you ever made a huge deal over someone being late?
Have you ever had them leave and watched them walk away?
Have you ever thought of leaving, but could only sit and stay?
Have you ever hurt someone and looked at what you've done?
Have you ever been the one that's hurt and thought you were the only one?
Have you ever loved another and never told them so?
Have you ever tried to tell them, but you did'nt know how it would go?
Have you ever been alone where nobody could see?
So, you sat at good remaining, unknown, having no where else to be?
I've felt this way before. I've felt and dealt it all.
I've even lied and cried and felt the fall.
But, nothing makes it better. The guilt and the pain. I wish it all away. I wish it was not real, but that's not the case, and it'll never be, it took me too long to open up and see.
I must own up to my mistakes I've made, get past the pain I've felt, wipe away the tears, and tell someone when I love them before they go away, and maybe if I word it right, they just might want to stay..