It doesn't help to be sober
it only reminds me of you
Life would be so different
I wouldn't have to hit you
like I meant to

Love,
what a difficult subject,
yet a stream of consciousness
could help understand what is felt.

Was it love or abuse?
Only time could tell---
perhaps love is
in part
using another for gain, and accepting the pain,
till another time when both love a'gain.

A bird flew overhead today,
maybe it was Wednesday?
yet it was a sight to see
flying high and free
flying toward the sea.
How it doesn't get lost I'll never know
perhaps it runs away from the snow?
It barely flapped its wings
and it had small little rings
that wrapped around its leg,
probably to show its rich and doesn't beg.

I worried like a madman
about you last night
Only to wake up at
2:30am to see I had
nothing to fright.

I lay in bed
for a couple of hours
as cruel thoughts came creeping
to my dread
to share the mattress with me
so I said
"I'll get up"
apparently to eat bread
and to look at pictures
of newly-weds
and to smoke
and to sit on the toilet
and to read
all so I could get
cruel thoughts to subside in me
for a little sleep
and wake up dead.

It's a red moon tonight
and I glance to the stars
for reassurance
that the world is still here---
that I was once apart of the heavens;
no reason to fear.

Life is full of terrible moments of happiness
Life is full of amazing moments of sorrow
Life moves onward and all the characters in life try to keep up

My life isn't what I want it to be, but I don't know what my life should be. Do I go searching; searching for a life? Is there a point to searching for a life when mere breathing is enough to live life?

Life is full of questions
Life is full of answers
Life is a teacher that no one understands

Another fish in the sea
feeling as lucky as can be.

Another zebra in the herd
prancing up higher than a bird.

Another wolf in the pack
rolling happily on its back.

Another flower in the field
blooming  to be revealed.

Another star in the sky
shining bright upon the eye.

Another man on the Earth
searching for what he's worth.

With that the loving Sandra kissed Alex gently on his cheek and although she had kissed his cheek many times before, there was something different about this one, a little bit longer, a little bit warmer, a little bit harder. She was saying her goodbye.

He wanted to say something, but nothing would come out. She gave him a comforting smile, turned and began to walk away, each step tearing away more and more of Alex's courage until she disappeared into the fog and falling snow.