how do you manage to sit out of reach?
your clock's so off,
it’s ridiculous.
it’s starting to BE me.
my whole body can’t take it.
my whole body can take it,     come over.

we were so optimistic, or at least I was
which is a bigger deal than you will ever be
i was born into pessimism
breathing it, bathing in it
i was so optimistic, nothing like frank
nothing was normal
the only game we played was druno
it was all easy
it was all conversation
it was all like i wanted it
like i always wanted it
especially with you
always with you
since the beginning
when we would steal cones from roadside danger, cause we didn't care
about anyone else but us
it was all easy
it was all conversation
and pillowtalk, so much pillowtalk
like the beginning; just like the beginning
but i woke up to a smile this time
and lyrics in my head from the night that turned into day
i'll never forget your expression
and how there was more *** this time
and less *****, and less pills, and more us
but now you're so far away
like that morning i didn't want to come
the freckles on our noses that i like to keep close
the best friend i tried to protect
and the song that always reminds me of my mom

your absence makes me cold
and it makes me really tired
but not enough to stay in
and it makes me want to chain smoke like bob dylan
but it's never enough to calm me down

everything that goes makes me a little older
and everything you say makes me a little wetter
and all the things I imagine us doing makes me know that
momma wouldn't be proud

your absence means my nights have more chance of being lonely
and when you aren’t around I look for other entertainment

I used to be so interesting, and interested
but now you just
you just stay for a couple hours
and then i’m older
and i'm colder
and I’ve never been wetter
(sorry momma)

but when you aren't around i can't help myself
i look for other entertainment

but can’t we try harder
I wanna be younger
when people didn’t give up so easily
because people didn’t love so easily
and no one was losing easily

well i must be getting older
cause
you never looked so boring to me
ya i must be getting older
cause
even television bores me

i'm looking for other entertainment

if I had words in my head I would write them all down
and If I had good intentions I wouldn’t tell you
didn't anyone ever tell you it's all about timing
cause i'm growing up and my hair won't stay long forever

and all the things I see are just for company
and all the things you do are for yourself
and sometimes it’s just lip service and a ride home
but mostly its whiskey bottles and saving face

cause growing old seems boring to me
and it pushes you away
growing up seems pointless to me
and it's only pushing you away

but that’s right where you want to be
and it’s the only place you ever wanna stay
and the only way i get to see you now is with an appointment
and the only way i get what i want now is with indifference

but you don’t look for me
cause you never cared about things like that
and you don’t worry about me
cause I’m always here

and it’s not what I want but maybe it is
and it’s not what you say but more of how you don't say it
and we'll die slowly with all of your other devotions
and there’s no use in us when there’s so much commotion
and so much indifference

but you know how good it feels
-good enough to change me
and you know all you would have to do
is call
call call call and i could stop reading this note
over over over and over again

until it’s nothing but nothing
just like us
and I don’t understand that
or maybe i just don't care enough
i'm so indifferent, maybe i'll get what i want         but i won't wait.

take off my shoes please
there's no where left for us to go if we're together
and i'll give you back this nickname you gave us
cause it's the most endearing thing you ever did
and somehow i fell upwards into backwards board games
somehow my bellybutton got on the outside of my shirt
or maybe this is just your shirt that i forgot to give back
yeah maybe i took this when things made more sense
i was always scrimpin back then

the only things i remember are
heart shaped ashtrays and little blue pills
i fell in love with dodge street
and all of it's diseases
but you, you only loved the little blues
cause one made you large and two made you larger
and then i was small enough to fit in your pocket
hide and seek was never so easy

except
leaving was never so easy
cause you weren't even looking

i started wondering about the past today
i thought of you and me and rings, oh my
i thought of songs and trophy wives and our degrees
and other things we would’ve made fun of

i thought of my life and how you would have a lot to say
i thought of how I thought you were gone
and whether we would name our children after ***** we used to know

i thought of how i’ve changed, and i don’t even know the color of your nose anymore
i thought of imaginary things
i thought i thought i grew up