Deep breath in
Deep breath out
Plaster a head-turning smile on your lips
Build up your perfect façade
I am strong
No you are not
I am fine
No you are not
I can handle it
No you cannot
Don't think about it
Think about it
Don't cry
Cry
I am-
no
you
are
*NOT!

I wish I wish I wish
I wish it were different
I wish it didn't happen to her
I wish it didn't end like this
I wish I wish I wish
I wish she didn't use the razor
I wish she didn't cut away the pain
I wish she didn't carve the evils into her flesh
I wish I wish I wish
I wish they didn't torture her with their words
I wish they didn't bury her in their anger
I wish they didn't destroy her soul
I wish I wish I wish
I wish they found her earlier
I wish she was saved
I wish she wasn't found with her arms slit open
I wish I wish I wish
I wish her blood hadn't completely drained out of her body
I wish in the midst of the blood the words 'I'm sorry' didn't exist
I wish it were different
I wish I wish I wish

Yes, I know it is just a deck of cards
Yes, I know that Bicycle is just a brand of cards
Yes, I know all decks have 52 cards
4 suits, Hearts, Diamonds, Aces, Clubs
Yes, I know all cards are relatively the same
Yes, I am bawling like a baby because I will only use my Bicycle cards and can't find them
No,
I
Can't
Help
*It

What is perfect?
'having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.'
My instant reflex would say that
I am the epitome of perfection
I am not
Nobody is
We all strive to be the very personification of
Perfection
Yet in the end
That dream is shattered into millions of pieces
Of broken heart
All different shapes and sizes
*All Perfect

I hate you with a burning passion that will never ever go out.
You make me feel as if I have lost all control
You make me want to cry in the grave I have long since dug for myself
You make me feel I am worthless
I hate you

Would you miss me?
Would you miss my laugh?
My smile?
My wit?
My beauty?
Would you even miss me at all?
I wonder...
I still wonder...