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Apr 2013 · 775
I do not Understand
Eveline Apr 2013
I do not understand-
  why drama ends up in violence;
  why we can't catch hummingbirds;
  why people dress ****** to get attention;

But most of all
  I do not understand-
  why fish have to breath underwater.
        ( I mean why do they need water if they can breath air normally.)

What I understand most is
  life isn't going to be easy-
  there are going to be struggles;
  There will be a lot of bumps in the road;
  There will be many obstacles and achieved goals.
Apr 2013 · 1.4k
I am
Eveline Apr 2013
I am a weird adventurous girl
I wonder how people would look without any
eyebrows.
I hear people shouting and talking at school
I see kids running at the park
I want to become a better person at home and school.
I am a weird adventurous girl.

I pretend to be good enough at soccer.
I feel like I'm not a perfect child when it comes to my
parents.
I touch many curious things in new houses.
I worry I'm not the best at anything when I struggle
I cry when I see my mom struggling when she pays
bills.
I am a weird adventurous girl

I understand I won't get the things I want when I need
them.
I say never give up on what you want to become.
I dream about how my life could be easier.
I try to do my best at school.
I hope I become a good soccer player to make my
family proud.
I am a weird adventurous girl.
Apr 2013 · 515
One Minute
Eveline Apr 2013
One minute we were laughing and fine
I was your best friend and you were mine
I loved the way when I was with you my whole world shined
I just didn’t know our moments together were being timed

The next minute you act like you don’t know me at all
I saw you trying to fade away, trying to not be tall
Your eyes so firmly focused on the ground
I tried to talk to you but you didn’t make a sound

I knew our friendship had some issues
I just didn’t think my bin would be filled with all these tissues
It has been the longest 5 days in history
All I have been thinking about is this mystery

What did I do wrong this time?
Was this the punishment for my crime?
I’m sorry I am who I am
I tried to change for you but I don’t think I can

I gave up all my other friends for you
Now I found out they’re on your side too
So I sit here alone watching you laugh
While being asked what happened between us by our class

Those nights we spent on the phone till midnight
They were just small memories, but I need to forget them now we’re in a fight
I know your secrets, I have kept them all these years
I know all of your deepest darkest fears
I guess you don’t know mine
My biggest fear is losing you
Guess what? I’m scared
My best friend of 3 years decided it would be a good idea to completely ignore me for no apparent reason. Well, she said "You know too much about me. And you broke my heart"
Apr 2013 · 758
My Abusive Story
Eveline Apr 2013
I hear the floor creek
Closer and closer toward my bedroom door
I try to stay quiet hiding under the covers
Though I know he will find me

I hope he doesn't hear my heartbeat
Or hear me praying God will protect me tonight
But as I do I start to cry because I know
TONIGHT'S ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS
WHEN GOD JUST DOESN'T HEAR ME

I let out one more sob
And the door swings open
The hallway light shines in
But darkness radiates off him
So strong
He has a smile on his face
Nothing will stop him
I cant even defend myself

He gets on top of me holding me down
As I try to turn away
He pulls me back covering my mouth
I am too scared to breathe

A few weeks pass by
I hear him moaning my name
While stumbling around the house
Closer and closer he is walking toward me

Now he is on my bed
And before he even touches me
I begin to cry as I wonder
Where is God tonight?

This time I fight back
I yell
I cry
But he has ways to shut me up.
I do everything I can to loosen his grip
He's hurting me so bad but will not let me go
NO
He will not let me go
Not until he is finished

He leaves me lying there
To think of what I have lost
"I'm sorry" is not enough
He doesn't even realize what it has cost

Another few weeks pass by
The shame keeps getting worse
Too afraid to tell
Though its so hard to hide this pain
Day after day

I must have been bad that night
I hear him coming closer as I'm lying on the floor
Lord I would do anything
If you would keep him from walking through that door

But he does
I finally realize I am all alone
No one to protect me
No one who can save me...
So I lie back down to take it
But he throws me on the bed
And makes me relive my worst fears
When I just want to be dead

I don't want to **** myself
I just want to die
God, why have you abandoned me?
Can you not see the tears I cry?

I will hurt myself later
After you have hurt me
This blood that stains the sheets
Tangled up on my bed
Reminds me of the words
The images you have put inside my head

I can still feel you touching me, grabbing me
Forcing my body closer to yours
The feeling of your cold fingers all over me
I constantly try to wash away
From my scarred skin

Since that first night
I live my life in fear
You are the reason I love too easily
Why I cannot love at all.
Because I trusted you
I can no longer trust

The pain I hold inside
You will never know
They will never understand
That my scars don't even begin to show...
No one never knew my story. Since today I wanted to let it out of my chest!
Apr 2013 · 324
Cancer
Eveline Apr 2013
Since the day I saw you,
since the day we met,
I knew this I wouldn't forget.
I Have loved you more then life its self,
now it seems were falling apart.
This thing that just wont go away,
was more then you could take.
But I'll hold on tight past the very end...
No matter how much it hurt,
I sat and watched you get worse.
I held your hand all through the night,
never to let go.
I wake up, and you were no longer here,
I'm haunted by these memories of you and me,
as a tear falls down my face I remember...
You will be here holding my hand all through the night like I did yours,
but most of all...
you will always be in my heart.
I wrote this poem about my grandma that past away from leukemia a year ago. She held my family together, now that she is gone we have been falling apart... But I always tell myself that she will always be by my side through the good time's and the bad.
Apr 2013 · 976
What you mean to me
Eveline Apr 2013
My mind is longing for love
A love my heart just found
Words will not describe
The emotions I feel inside
When we are together
I need to hold you close
Heart to mind, or lips to lips
I love your smile,
your **** charm,
your valiant walk

All these things sets alarm
To each day I walk alone
No one can fill my heart . . . your home
I think about you all **** day
But mostly when I lie awake
I never dreamt much in the past
Now I do and its for you
I will stand by your side
Through thick and all
To see that gorgeous smile
That always makes me fall
When you think you have nothing left
I SWEAR to you, I'll be left
Your gentle lips and your beautful glow
An angel I have, from head to toe
I know these words
My heart has shown
To you I vow these words alone.
To: Francisco
Apr 2013 · 445
Memory Poem
Eveline Apr 2013
Hearing a voice sounding familiar
Making my way to the living room
Looking at a person with an old face
Rembering it was my grandfather.
Looking at him made me cry
He was sick, couldn't talk or walk.
It hurt looking at him.
It was like bullets shooting through my stomach.

Seeing my grandpa smiling at me
Telling me he is okay
I knew he was wrong
Leading him to the bedroom
Crash! He is hurt

Blood in his nose
Hearing him cry
My dad helps him up
My tears flowing like a river
Next day came
He is lying down
Lying down with him made me safe
Looking up on his face
Seeing him smile down at me
Midnight has come
Seeing him asleep
Waking him up for a glass of milk
Shaking him
No movement
Crying, screaming, and yelling
I knew my grandfather  was dead

    By Eveline

— The End —