Dabbing alcohol. Wrist face up. Winching and looking away.
Sanitize me.

How wrong to stop a constant breaking that become a habit. And stop loving me?
Oh no no no dear its not that easy
Ever I asked you stop playing? I do not dare because its what you love
Though you'll never get to see this its something for the ruins
You have me so much with bother of the greatest lesson in life. The obstacles in love and I fallen for you?

Hard to understand when at the time. When our worlds were so different and I desperately invite you inside. Trying to keep you awhile longer.

Ending with shotgun in the chest. Laying on the pavement. Tears almost endless.
Its hard to breathe I cant see the stars we had once promised to see together

How dare you to take such a leave. I know its hard to understand when I reached for that razor
But all in all, I'm here to say to not only you
That yes, I have stopped for myself.

I come to you and lie to you
"I stopped hurting myself"
Only to just know it makes you smile though I can never see it

The lasting inspiration far from the romance that was meant to be when alone of these thoughts of you
Allowing your once threshold power I couldn't utter aloud
Yet scribbled onto many letters that were never sent
I wish I could make you understand instead of coming off sounding still so crazy

When really it wasn't you it was how beautiful it felt falling
Feeling weightless. That I wasn't alone though it was wrong to be so exposed

It was the right choice to have finally walked away. As I express this confess that clean cut. There's no blood to fall nor me over you

I find myself seeking for reminders to try revive the joys I had felt.
Casting a flurry of flutters on memory lane. Though I cannot help but notice the raw emotions that been setting in only brings clarity.
Wish I could breathe a word of apology through a fault no other than your own.
But I'm still here building on reasons of why am I still here.
Smile along and carry on

Countless, maybe thousands of poems fill my inbox
Some still unread.

In another folder, harbors inspiration, a memory, a trauma
A help for me to continue on scribbling poems of my own

Drafts of my old poems and wonder have these touched another?
Like they touched me?
Words of people I think I met

I'm not finished hear me out. Then your turn.
Lacerated love, come and bruise me again. Remind me of a time where I second guess love in all its blind beauty.

Where the creatures of my hell nail me inside of my coffin
Shut out. And yet you stand there.
I see it. In your eyes.
Not you, too

Speak of a person, like no other in existence. By blood is all I see
This will never be perfect, than I will hold you to.
What whispers in the dark, you speak of? Turn what I, inside am onto you
What more will you say now?

Finally draw me in your depths of what this is?
Slapped on label "love." Might you tred safely of the long term side effects? I recommend it, if your stuck with me

Dawning on again, smiling while the tears run
What I push to threat comes to hurt me in return
When I force that blade onto you I wish you would end me
But instead I'm here falling over, weak

I'm bleeding for you darling come cry with me. For the worthwhile I'll break
But be there when I wake