Face on a pedestal
neck cut off from blood.
Life support, I'm going in,
Eyes blinded by the black.

Night.
Breath entering,
bottled in, I'm opening up
when suddenly my neck is tight again
I am given no more slack.

People say, "You've changed!"
you are the same person.
framed by your past, it has shaped you
You can forget the past, but it does not forget you.
Pretend things haven't happened, yea you can.
Embrace that they did, you can do that too.
You can let your experiences grow inside you
like seeds bloom into flowers

Words that don't exist:

1. The state of being clueless of your own beauty.
2. A parent whose child has died.
3. The feeling of strong love at the beginning of a relationship

Words that do exist:

1. Hate.
2. Divorce.
3. Suicide.
4. Love.

alexithymia - inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner

sonder - the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own

petrichor -  the scent of rain on dry earth

Do You ever think of me?
Maybe you don't but i do.
You are my visions under eyelids,
my windy thoughts in my mind.
Why can't i get through your storm?
The thinking makes it rain harder.

Changing human faces
humanity in metamorphosis
caterpillars crawling, blind inside their skin
squirming and crawling, cocoon through needle and knife
peeling skin, breaking bones,
skin stretched to wings, no scars to see
the maggot smiles, butterfly created.

The night surrounds me
It is my disguise, my comfort
The spot i would rather be, my big secret
silence that is so loud, oh my friend!
You contain so many voices unheard.
loud off in other-places, only some always unheard
Whisperers tell secrets in your ears, you never tell
endless secrets flow through you, until they hit sky.
They become the stars

I begin,
scrambled words on a page, free forming
moving pen before I think
what's happening to me?
The pen finds out before I can know
I wrote it for him, that book of nonsense
It is my life incorrectly remembered and subjectified.
My life as if it could be put in a pocket, finite
Life as much as it is finite, is infinite
Each second stretching inward toward eternity
while stretching outwards toward
the end.

shaken, shoke
slapped, choked
life doesn't do you easy
it never does when it wants you to wake up
Please Wake Up
Screaming, Begging
never crying, but never broken
please come back to fantasy
Wake up.