Motionlessly sitting
Quietly thinking
Head rested on my desk
I put my fears to the test

No thoughts come to me
Compelling advisers look at me
Try not to stare,
Look down and play with my hair.

I burp subliminally.
I smell blood
and coiled in it
was half of my soul.
I grasp to it,
hope I don't breed,
not that anyone will take
any interest in me.

Suffer the abnormalities
of the world so far behind.
Contrary to popular belief,
I was no one special.

So walk for disaster,
smile slyly for ever and after.
No one could be a more
perfect match
than me and your mother.

Awakened by my neighbor's loud music
"Another day" I say. "I expect the boring."

So I get out of bed and wash my face.
Look at the mirror, what a waste of space.
The chilly wind surrounds me in my bathroom
I shiver and shiver again,
shiver more,
shiver less.

I put on my Sunday clothes,
eat some light Sunday breakfast,
pray to God that something
extraordinary happens to me
today.

But 24 hours pass and
He fails me yet again.

Will you think of me
in the back,
far behind,
while I look
up at the sky,
because I lack the attention, and did
I mention, you're beautiful?

Will you say my name
in  a room,
wide and waking,
feel me there.
My hands are shaking,
I cannot stop it,
I am so sorry.

Will you be there,
in the cold?
Suffering the night, I slowed
down my pace
and I see you farther and
farther away.
Every second of every day.

Thinking of someone else
that's not me.
I am selfish,
but can't you see?
The stars are shining
but not for you.
And I will do anything.