I'm sitting in this cold dark house
Stifling my tears, quiet as a mouse
I'm stuck here, locked inside my own head
Remembering all those things you said
Now I'm all too ****** up
Beyond complete repair
I'm a timebomb ready to blow up
Running my fingers through, ripping out my hair
All that's left is this empty shell
Maybe I'll live maybe I'll die who can tell
Hide me away atop this shelf
Maybe I might just **** myself

So relaxed I couldn’t disturb
Makes me think how did I get her
She makes me so happy
I hope I can make her too
Ill cry when she leaves
And die a lot inside
But that’s how life is right?
Just another thing to hide
But it’s the best for her
And it’s what she needs
So I’ll take this pain
And send it below
Her happiness is worth my sorrow
So I must let her go
One day I will find her again
And this thought keeps me alive
For if I lose her forever
That will be the day that I die

I walk this life,
With endless strife,
No sense of direction,
Loss of affection.
My knees are down,
Upon the ground,
Hands pulling hair,
Is there anything fair?
I met her one day,
had no courage to say,
for her I would fight,
to make everything right.
I gave her my voice,
and she had a choice,
to take me over him,
and live life on a whim.
I knew before she chose,
Within my heart I froze,
I'll never be the same,
In life's little game.
Now I walk,
The night, I stalk,
Soul full of desire
And nothing to fuel the fire.

As my heart explodes with hate
I can no longer halt, no longer abate
This unremitting desire
To tie you up and throw you on a fire
Your eyes, your voice, your soul divide
Could eventually lead me to suicide
I hate you more than Rednecks hate blacks
I just wish you would swallow some tacks
This anger fills me to the top
Will this shaking ever stop?
If I owned even a half of an acre
The last thing you’d see is this bullet leave this chamber
But I don’t and woe betide
I am not fit for populicide

Some call it crazy
Some say it’s sick
But I think it’s freedom
The pain is fierce but quick
Some say that it’s a sin
Just a little to risque
But it helps release the pain
That I go through every day
The blade is sharp and cold
As it runs across my skin
Leaving me to ponder
And decide how deep I cut in
The icy chill running down my spine
Makes me feel at ease
I no longer feel like a coward
******* up on everything with every breath I breathe
But some days I want to stop
Feeling like everything's wrong
Trying to let go of the blade
Sometimes I can but not for long
It’s like I'm addicted to the pain
The feeling taking refuge in my veins
Leaving me feeling confused and alone
Wiping at the streaked tears that seem to be stained
Burned into my skin forever
Becoming a part that I cannot escape
Sometimes I just want to hurt all over
To scream at the top of my lungs until they break
I want to escape from my sadness
It’s taking over me
Why can’t I just rest
Why won’t it let me be
I just want to be free

Dark red
Trickles
Trickles down his arm
A special little secret
Known as self harm
Fiery red
Anger Builds up deep inside
He's got to let these feelings out
But to who can he confide
Dark silver
Blade Is the one that he trusts
The one that he turns to
When life becomes too much
Long white
Sleeves
To cover his pain
Hide his relief
Hide the cuts again

An underlying sense of counting down –
A rhythm deep: enteric thuds –
Each another year to fret and frown
About, wading in the claggy muds
Of trial – to here, the blackened life.
A glint of blade had caught a baggy eye,
Sparking thoughts to jump the fence.
Could I grasp the handle – was I shy
Of what I had to do and hence remain
Enshrined in overwhelming strife?
  
The metal winked at me again
To beg the possibility
Of halting once and all the pain
To relish an eternity
Of rested shoulders,
Peace of mind;
So here, my wrist
For ‘quick and kind.’