i have come to despise light
it is light that illuminates the darkness in my life
light that shines upon the messes I have made
and the very same light that brings my sins to fruition,
elucidating my contempt and foreshadowing mistakes to come

no, i much prefer darkness
the darkness that comes with the rain and snow
and the resolute and guilt-ridden serenity that follows suit

darkness for me is something familiar
bitter cold nights and white noise
a calm before the storm
and the storm itself
that which drowns out the lies i tell myself

it is the callous punishment
and the unassuming forevers

yet, in the end, my darkness is an excuse and nothing more
an excuse to leave behind the light
and hide from my darkness