There once was a pressman named Frank,
  Who really could make the press crank.
Said foreman Wayne Berry,
  To the ink man named Larry,
"Today I make Frank walk the plank."
"Frank this print just plain stinks!"
  Wayne growled as he messed with Frank's inks.
"This blue is too light,
  And thin down that white !"
Frank needed a couple stiff drinks !
  Like his *** was on fire , ***** catching,
Wayne had poor Frank stepping and fetching.
  Before he could speak ,
His stomach grew weak.
  Frank fell to his knees just a retching.
As he puked right there on the floor,
  He knew he had triumphed once more.
Telling Wayne he was sick,
  Frank clocked out real quick,
And job still intact cleared the door.

From the early, early morning through the late, late night,
The tweekers keep on coming and it just ain't right.
  Yvonne gets up early and she's feeding the fish,
And here comes Ernie, he's wanting his "ish".
  So she breaks him off a little so that he won't gripe,
Now here comes Pino wanting something in the pipe.
  And next comes Debbie just a shaking that ***,
She's supporting the casino selling half price gas.
  Then comes Clifford call him Big Daddy Mac,
He got the Clabber Girl can goin' clackity - clack.
  From a quarter to a half, to a teener or a ball,
She's got more traffic than the Hill Top Mall.
  Now the daylight's fading and the night's coming on,
On and on and on and on and on,
  The Tweeks have worn a path in the ******* lawn.
Yvonne can't take it, she's headed for the hills,
  Yelling back at Ernie, "Yes, I took my friggin pills!!"
Betty, Sally, Gary, and James,
  The faces keep changing but never the games.
They promise to pay you. They only need a puff,
  A little more please, that's just not enough.
And they bring you lots of things that you just can't use,
  Like fake gold chains and someone else's shoes.
A cordless drill I got no way to charge and brand new jeans three sizes too large.
  "Say hey yo bro, I bet you need one of these".
It's a freaking leaf blower when I ain't got any trees !!!
  Yeah, they call their hustle and they're good at what they do.
You know that they are 'cuz they always hustling YOU !!
  HERE COME THE JUDGE !  HERE COME THE JUDGE !
COURT'S IN SESSION NOW.  HERE COME THE JUDGE !!

A pity Yvonne alas has passed on in a most regrettable way.
She wasn't quite a snit cuz she jus couldn't ****
and hadn't been many a day.
So she sent Ernie out for enimas no doubt
and while he was still on the road,
Yvonne took a chance by dropping her pants while running toward the commode.
In a tangle of jeans, frustrated screams and a splintering bathroom door,
Her *** met the glass as intestinal gas burst forth with a thunderous roar.
The bowl couldn't take the force of the quake,
It rained down like porcelain Hail.
Some people say five miles away it hit six on the Richter scale.
I miss dear Yvonne, now that she's gone, taken from us much too soon.
Sometimes I cry as I gaze up in the sky and wave and she orbits the moon.

I'm not running for office, got nothing to sell.
But if you've got a few minutes I have a story to tell.
See there once was a man no different from you,
With so many clothes he didn't know what to do.
Yvonne grew tired of his clothing arrray,
And she let it be known one fine laundry day.
She felt she had taken all she could take,
So she balled up her fist and gave it a shake!
"Ernie, I've had it!" she said with a shout.
"You can do your own laundry from here on out!"
Well the day finally came he could find nothing clean.
Ne'er a shirt, nor a sock, nor a single blue jean!
Did our hero grow grievous? Oh contraire!
With a quick trip to Thrift Town he had plenty to wear.
Countless days later Ernie's attire still clean,
Yvonne fell to wondering what could this mean.
As she entered the laundry room scratching her head.
Her blood began to boil, her face to turn red!
The washer was silent, the dryer was cold.
But the mystery at last began to unfold.
Twenty three pair of Levys there on the floor,
Told the tale of Ernie's journeys to the local thrift store.
Yvonne shouted, "Dear God, I simply can't win!"
And started doing Ernie's laundry again...
There's a moral to this story set down here in verse,
It's a tale of two evils. You decide which is worse.
Doing laundry for Ernie who's not a bad a guy,
Or a pile of ***** Levys that mount to the sky!!!

A pity Yvonne alas has passed on in a most regrettable way.
She wasn't quite a snit cuz she jus couldn't ****
and hadn't been many a day.
So she sent Ernie out for enimas no doubt
and while he was still on the road,
Yvonne took a chance by dropping her pants while running toward the commode.
In a tangle of jeans, frustrated screams and a splintering bathroom door,
Her *** met the glass as intestinal gas burst forth with a thunderous roar.
The bowl couldn't take the force of the quake,
It rained down like porcelain Hail.
Some people say five miles away it hit six on the Richter scale.
I miss dear Yvonne, now that she's gone, taken from us much too soon.
Sometimes I cry as I gaze up in the sky and wave and she orbits the moon.