I wont live trapped in my "if only's"
          because the past can be a road map or a road block. And I
Wasn't able to tell what colors my secrets were.
         So I have heard that everything is
Supposed to happen for a reason. (I don't know if I believe this yet)
        and even if it is true, it doesn't make it any easier. I decided I don't want
To live trapped in my "maybe one day" or "We'll see's"
        But now whenever it gets cold and the rain starts to
Fall all I can think of is a cat at our feet.
         and cabins
In the woods, where for a few short moments there is no distance.
         and I wonder if
Love is enough to stop time,
         because if you asked I would run away with you,( So please don't ask)
But this is bigger then the two of us, even though we are the reason why
         there are stars in the sky. What
I wanted, almost more then anything, was to say
        Welcome Home. And kiss you hello instead of goodbye. Everything I
Did was my fault (obviously)
        because I wasn't supposed to fall in love, but I did
Anyways.

So I did,
exactly what I told you not to do.
Except in a different way.
****.

And now that I want to go back,
what I really want to do is to go forward.
Because while people have taught me many things
I have taught myself that things will be okay

And its not okay that I'm looking for.  
But I guess it will work for now.

I'll bury that part.
In a chest, in a dungeon, in an abandoned castle.
In an abandoned world.
Guarded by a patient dragon.

I'll hide the key to the chest in one part of my mind.
And a map to the castle in another.
Or maybe I will trick myself
and hide it in my heart instead.

I will never know what web of coincidences have brought me to this point.
I only know the decisions I have made.

I don't know these words,
are they even mine.

They were here before anyone was born.
That's all I remember.

When she saw countless worlds inside a flower
and held eternity in her hands
she decided to change from a rock into water.
 
She let herself become hollow like an old tree
so she could take everything in.
And she forgot everything she had learned,
so she could learn it all again.
 
The sound of the rushing water deafened her ears
and the sight of the stars blinded her eyes.
Always she carried with her the river in her ears
and the stars in her dead eyes,
knowing one day she would return to them.
 
She writes letters at one in the morning
letters she will never send.
To people who wouldn't understand why she was writing them
because she hadn't seen them in years.
 
But she wants to keep thinking of you
until she forgets who you are.
 
She turns to the world and shouts
“You spend your precious seconds doing nothing. So stop everything”

Its beautiful here, but its not the view I'm looking for                                                    up
This open sky, I want to be so light, lighter then a dandelion wish. I want to float up
away into this sky so I can find your eyes
because what's a few shades of blue.
Then instead of floating I'll just
sink,
     sink,
          sink
to the very bottom.

I've never been to this place before, so I guess I should thank you
I guess my heart is dying,
but its time to grow and I have a cocoon in my pocket, and we both need wings if we are going to survive.

A heart on my wrist
and the sacred trickster, reminding me not to take everything so seriously, while teaching important lessons. He probably has something to do with this situation that I'm in.

So I'll run into these dark woods, and call to him. And then together we will call to you and then
laugh
and
laugh
and
laugh.

Because I love you so much.

And I wanted to hide everything that reminded me of you, (Which is everything by the way)
but that would mean trying to forget,
which would mean broken promises.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
makes so much more sense now.
So many things, make so much more sense.
So I guess I should thank you.

The stars dance and the city is burning with light.
The music blares and the wind tears at my hair.

Lets leave this town for a little while, leave it for an older one. One we knew, and one we are just discovering.

And I'm hopeless,
Hopeless for the countless stars, in a blueblack sky.
Hopeless for the mist in the forest after the rain.
Hopeless for new places, old places
and the old places that I wont ever see again...
I'm hopeless for your hair in my mouth,
and your pillow arms.
I'm hopeless for thunderstorms and anthills,
puppy kisses and fuzzy sweaters.
I'm hopeless for me and you,
Hopeless in wondering if you and I are hopeless.
And wondering if we were ****** from the start...what a wonderful curse to break.
I'm also a hopeless romantic, poetry, sunsets, drunken statements of love, all that jazz
I had you at a hopeless arms length, but my hopeless heart had a different agenda.
I'm hopeless for delusional fairy tails, but with a twist. I've never made a good damsel in distress. I'll be the dragon, and you can be whatever you want to be. But if you ever become a knight I suggest something besides a dinky sword.
I'm hopeless for the ocean, for the snowflakes, for the wind
for moonlight walks, for autumn leaves
Hopeless for sundresses, sad loves songs.
Pokemon, books, books, books,
Hopeless for beginnings.
Hopeless for memories of you, hopeless for any memories at all.
Hopeless for my alone time, hopeless for my time alone with you
Hopeless for small houses in the woods, hopeless for fire
Hopeless for the scars on your arms and the scars on your heart.
I'm hopeless for my friends, and long nights spent with them.
Hopeless for ***, drugs and rock n' roll, sometimes all at the same time.
Hopeless for tears and laughter. Hopeless for rainbows and naps when I'm grumpy.
I'm hopeless for cigaretts and rivers, hot springs
and bats, hopeless for dancing and back rubs.
I'm hopeless because you are the reason that I am going,
and the reason that I am staying.

We'll hide like leopards,
Wearing invisibility,
cloaked in a pattern of light and dark.
Hiding in the shadows
cast by the wind

Heart seeking heart.

I wont tell you my secrets
because then they would have to be yours too.

It was bad timing on my part.

So you came back from too many days ago
from a life built of oh so precious moments.
Filling up the space that you left.
Did you make your own?

I'll take you to the pretty places inside my own head
and show you these dreamcasters weaving dreamcatchers.

Where do the ghosts go, when there are no more ghost towns
when the old one forgets...
did we even exist at all?

You're the pressure under my skin
asking
If you're water, can you drown?

I want to make love to all of your scars.
Even the ones on your heart.

Because I want you, all of you.
And I am not afraid of that darkness, because it is part of my light.

So you can build your kingdom of ice as hard as diamond, but you forgot what I am.

And I have seen your eyes burn, with more then one kind of fire.

Sitting on top of the rocks, cracked like parched lips was a shell.
Plucked form its sandy nest and placed around my ear.
You are far from home I thought.

"Am I" said the shell.
"Then so are you."

It whispered calling in the ancient dreams of the past.

"My world was sand and water, together in an endless dance. But then it did end and I thought the world was over. But she just changed her shape. And now my world is sand and sun, sand and moon, sand and stars. None would I have known if the world never ended. Never would I have known coyote and her call, or eagle as he flies in his own blue ocean. And I have learned that the desert exists in a stillness that is not still.
The world is always changing, just as you have old friend. You were there in the waters that became this sky. You were there as the great ones love song, carrying their music in every crested wave. You were there because it is your blood that you hear echoing through me, not my voice. Your voice"

You're so blind.
I whisper, as you take away my eyes.
But not my ability to see.

Can you tell me who won,
In the battle against yourself.
Was it a victory, or a surrender.
Which would be worse?

I'll live in the silence.
My Silence.
Which is different then the silence of a haunted ghost ship.
Trapped between two storms.
Which is worlds away from Shadow Silence.
One place I visit frequently.
And all of those silences are almost, but not quite unlike the
Snow Silence.

Maybe I am lying to you,
because these things aren't silent at all.
But what if I am the only one here who can hear them.
Does that make it a lie,
Or are you just not trying hard enough.

Are you trying at all?

Even though these silences are so loud
that you can't hear them.
Where are the real silences?

Right now all I know
is that my hands
have not felt the whisper
of you
underneath them
in quite some time.

I live in the melody of your laughter
and dance in the ocean of your eyes.
I'm in love with the way you drink water,
because you know where you came from.
 
These are are vessels that we have been given to travel in
we will live in them, we will die in them
The water wont always be as smooth as glass,
a reflection of all you have been
 
And there is the book you are writing, with all blank pages.
The ones that carry your words are torn out and scattered,
like seedlings on the wind, growing places you will never touch
Whose eyes will drift upon them, whose souls will they reach?
 
You trade pieces along the way,
a puzzle made of up secrets and dreams that aren't yours.
 Stretch your hands to the sun,
like the trees growing tall.
Feel its light pierce your skin,
and live in your blood.

but is it long enough?