I crumble
Time and time again into
Myself, I crinkle
Folding up upon myself
Hiding what’s inside
I break, shatter
Spread out in a million
Tiny, sharp, disarrayed pieces
Amplifying  my scream my
Cry, it’s deafening
But everyone here is already deaf.

So I fall
Deeper and deeper
Into the endlessly hole
With no lader to climb
No rope to hold onto.
No I endlessly fall in the
Endlessly pit.

I crumble
Into Myself.

I can remember people strolling down the damp streets
The smell soup gliding in the wind, what a sweet mixture
Potatoes and parsley tickling your nose
People wrapped up in torn shawls waiting in line, but content they were.
I can remember the clattering of teeth, the movement of lips
The expressions of ideas, so different in all,
No one was afraid to criticize, to call out.
People had a somber mood, no doubt about that.
But it was better than what was to come.
It was so much better.

I can remember the end of ‘29.
The dismal fall of our state, of our home.
Suddenly my walls were painted with bills of despair,
A cruel reminder of our payment that we can’t pay.
Since the Weltkrieg, I was told to hate those Amis.
They destroyed our Economy, and I know they wish they didn’t
Because in that vacuum arose a grim beginning
And in ‘33 our world as we knew was to crumble at our weak feet.
But I can remember the future was foggy, so we decided to walk forward,
Yet that walk was instead a sprint to ultimate death of ideas,
And a sprint to the death of peace.

I can remember the deterioration of our lives and freedom.
Nothing was being spoken of the crimes we were committing.
Our friends were being hauled away to not be seen again,
But they were not our friends, they were only to blame, we thought.
I can remember the bitter september of  ‘39
When we took our east neighbor’s home and called it our own.
Not knowing what we had started, we trudged forward
Handing 20 year olds by the millions gas masks and guns.
But they could not ward off the sins yet to become.

I can remember hating our deeds,
It went against every good and heartful moral.
My words were to suffocate in my own mouth.
Too afraid to speak up, but of course I was.
The harassment and suffering that would follow
Would be so emance I would lose all hope
Of a life that was worth living,
If I still had one.

I can remember the clearing of the smoke and gas,
The rising sun of September ‘45, a gleaming metal of promise.
And we ran out to the streets and cheered on our loss.
For our loss was our liberation, our emancipation.
And while our state layed dispersed and in ruins,
We were more put together than ever before.
Yet all good things must come to an end, don’t they.
And Berlin was cut and split once more.

I can remember the change in my street,
Named after that soviet hero, known as Marx.
His named controlled the Allee, and it was the farthest we could go,
Until the officers shoved us and forced us to turn around.
They say the sun rises on the east, but it really only shines on the west.
And this lack of sun drove our leaders fridged.
Calling for a blanket to insulate us in.

I can remember how cold it became in ‘61
The year our ‘needed’ blanket was made.
155 kilometers it spat on the pure soil of our destroyed home.
And when my neighbor tried to cross it, he was shot down
Blood of a friend tattooing the wall, ink spilling over like a broken pen.
Writing the grim truth of our situation, the lies trickling as a river.
If I could of protest it, I would of, but all those who did didn’t last long.
And if the hand on the trigger was not to pull it,
Gulags were to be our next home.

I can remember hating his deeds,
It went against every good and heartful moral.
My words were to suffocate in my own mouth.
Too afraid to speak up, but of course I was.
The harassment and suffering that would follow
Would be so emance I would lose all hope
Of a life that was worth living,
If I still had one.

“...Open this gate! ...Tear down this wall!”
The words flowed past the barrier into our ears.
A second liberation, a second emancipation.
Please freedom, please drag us by our head and force us to stand.
Let us stand with our brothers and stand until our knees buckle.
I can remember the arms around me, the arms of my lost son.
Pulling me up from the depths of the east, until I was standing on the wall.
The crowd cheering beneath us and cheering beside us.
Free, this is free, I am free, we are free.
But nothing lasts forever.

Many years later, many years have gone through time
My memories linger, dancing in circles
Reminding me of the pain and suffering we went through
To figure out what it means to be us.
I can remember the days when everything seemed lost.
I can remember the days when we were a disgrace
A mistake in world’s code, an horrific accident that was never meant to happen
But time has fading upon itself
For a brief moment we knew who we were.
And then we remembered all that has been done in our name
Now we insist on cleaning ourselves.

Destroy us. Rid us of all things that make us us.
Vacate the room of all bad, and get rid of all good too.
Nothing shall remain of us. Nothing good can last in our name.
At least that's what they want me to think, but I can’t and I won't.
I lay here, alone, abandoned, dying against my will.
My words suffocating in my own mouth.
Too afraid to speak up, but of course am I.
Silence is what keeps me alive.

I can remember being told to be silent
My mother whispering in my ear, “I know, Don’t say it.”
“If they hear you, you could be sent away.”
I can remember disclosing to my son through the thin black wire
“I can’t say it, they can hear it, and I would sent away.”
And now I lay in the skin of the scared man I have always been
Too afraid to fight back, too afraid to say my truth.
Unable to alter the past, and no control over the future.
No one is here to listen to the wise, to listen to those
Who have suffered through forced silence twice over.
But we are Germans, silencing is what we do.

I've got miles and miles and miles to go,
Upon lanes of busy highway roads.
More bridges to cross and cities to go through,
And billboards that make me say whoop-de-do.
I see Toyota, Ford, Chevy, and Mazda,
Volkswagen, Catalack, BMW, and Honda.
There's prices for gas on signs for gas stations,
As I continue to drive I start to lose my patience.
Ten, eleven, twelve dead squirrels,
When I look at them I want to hurl.
As I hop and hop from state to state,
I wonder which one will be my fate.
And as I count each mile as my true foe,
Each mile is one less mile to go.

We walk, we talk
We laugh, we sing
But never do we
Really think

We fake the smile
A real dim glow
As the gray cloud move on
Like a sad old crow

We cry alone
With no one there
Because in truth
No one cares

But we feel no pain
When we're all alone
Because we may think
But we never know.

Hace frio.
Llueve.
Me gusta
Cuando llueve.

El agua
Baila
En las casa.
Yo Miro.

Escucho
A el agua;
Yo estoy
Feliz.

Hoy es
Sábado.
Y llueve,
Siempre.

Pero,
Yo corro.
Yo corro y yo corro
Cuando llueve.




Llevo
Los pantalones cortes
Además llueve
En sábado.  

Yo descanso.
Yo estoy cansada.
“Yo no trabajo más,” yo hablo.
Pero yo aprendo,
Yo trabajo,  siempre.

Pero, yo estoy feliz
Cuando yo trabajo
Porque, me gusta sábado
Y llueve, siempre,
Y yo bailo con el agua.

Canta, el agua.
Canta a me.
En sábado frio,
Nosotros cantamos,
El agua y me.

Sábado es bueno.
Sábado es simpático.
Me gusta sábado
Cuando el agua y yo
Cantamos y bailamos.
Pero no me gusta lunes,
Martes, miércoles,
Jueves, viernes.
Porque yo estoy en la casa,
No en la escuela.

Mi madre, no, mi madrastra
Es mala y seria.
“No les gustas,” ella habla.
“Tú eres débil y pobre. No les gustas,”
Ella habla otra vez y otra vez.  

Pero, en sábado,
Yo corro.
Porque yo no trabajo
Para mi madrastra
En la casa mala.

Yo corro, cuando
Miro una la chica.
No ella baila en el agua.
No ella canta en el agua.
¿Por qué?





Ella mira me.
Ella habla, “Hi. My name is Basil.”
Yo hablo, “No hablo inglés.”
Ella habla, “Ok. Me llamo Basil.”
Basil. Un nombre bonito.  

Basil habla, “¿Cómo te llamas?”
Yo hablo, “Catrin.”
“Mucho gusto, Catrin” Basil habla.
“Igualmente, Basil” Yo hablo,
Pero no nosotros paseamos.

“¿Estas tu nuevo aquí?” Basil habla.
“No,” Yo hablo.
“¿Estoy yo tu amiga?”
“No.” Ella habla, “¿Por qué?”
“El agua es mi amigo uno,” y yo corro.

Yo estoy en la casa.
No me gusta la casa.
No mi madrastra está aquí.
Pero, el gato está aquí.
Me gusta el gato.




Nombre del gato es Licorice.
Nosotros descansamos.
Yo leo mi libro inglés.
Yo práctico mi inglés.
“Hello,” yo hablo, “es Hola.”

El gato habla, “¡Miau!”
Licorice gusta comer.
“Paseas con me,” Yo hablo.
Él come.
Yo miro.

Yo miro y yo dibujo.
Yo dibujo Licorice.
“¿Miau?” Licorice habla.
“Está bien, Licorice.”
Pero no está bien.

Adiós sábado noches.
Hoy es domingo y mañana.
Mi madrastra no está aquí.  
Mi madrastra no está aquí sábado noches.
Que es bueno.


Hoy, yo corro, otra vez.
Yo miro la chica otra vez.
Basil pasea a me.
“¡Tú estás ilegal!” Basil habla.
“¿Qué?” yo hablo.

Yo miro.
“¿Por qué?” yo hablo.
Yo estoy triste.
Pero el agua baila y canta.

Mi casa es en Dallas Texas,
Pero yo soy de Chihuahua, México.
¿Soy yo libre?
Sí y no
Yo soy libre en México.

Sí, en Dallas,
Yo soy ilegal.
Pero cuando yo canto y bailo con el agua,
Yo soy
Libre.

I speak, but my voice is not heard
Yet I sing and my sorrow is heard
I scream and my pain is heard
I silent and my absence is heard.
Some think I don’t speak
Because I’m full of glee
But the few who really know me
Know
I don’t speak
Because I
Can’t.

Tell me.
Tell you what?
Tell me that everything will be okay, that the rain will move on, and that the sun will shine again.
But I can't.
Why can't you tell me that the flowers will bloom and the birds will cry and laughter will fill the world?
Because, nothing will be okay. The bases of life and love have been destroyed. The rain comes at night and is too hard, too powerful to stop. The sun will forever be covered in black smoke. The flowers and the birds have died so no more flowers and birds can become.
Well then tell me, tell me it won't last forever. Tell me it will stop for once with peace and only peace around us.
But I can't.
Why can't you tell me that this can be over?
Because, I don't know if it can.

Piece By Piece
I Break until
Nothing is
Left
of
Me

Can't you see
Now
That everything
Everything we wanted
Is gone
Lost
Lost in another world
Slipped out of our hands
Like a bar of soap
Or an ice cube
So fragile
Were our hopes
But's gone now
Out the door
You killed
It all
All of it
Gone
Just gone
And now

So am I

Why?
Because.
Because why?
Because the sun is there, waiting for you, smiling at you, telling you it will be alright. And the moon is there, watching over you, telling you nothing bad will happen. And the stars, so truthful, break the news. The stars fell pity and say the words, and you break. But the stars say, don't you worry, my child, she is with us, we are holding her, helping her, she is safe.
Why do the stars tell the truth?
Because they are the only ones who know what it is to how to be nice, how to be true and how to love.
Why don't the sun and the moon know?
Because the sun, as bright and good it can feel, it is large and cruel behind it's smile. It burns you and rips you apart. The moon, as beautiful as it is, is bound for trouble. It is reckless and not caring about others.
Why are the stars so nice?
Because they are a group, born together, raised together, die together. They know others, and they know the truth about people.
Why did the stars have to tell me the terrible news?
Because, my dear, she is a star, and she wanted you to know, that she was there, waiting for you and watching you like no one else.

I know it has been a while
But time takes me away
I flow by and never return
Someday, however, someday
Busy has called me it's victim,
And I know it is no excuse
But I miss the old days
I used to spend with you.
Please take my apology
And hand more out by the few
Even when busy holds me down,
I now know I have to give time to you.

Help me find a path.
The light inside is lost.
My eyes have been closed.
I guessed I paid the cost.

I need the help
Of a friend.
But they have all left
And there they lead

The battles they have been through
No coward can compare.
And the coward I am,
I sit in disrepair.

So I really help to find a path
And I really am lost.
But I shall open my eyes,
Because I have paid the cost.

I was there
I am here
But where are you
When my times grow near

I been there by your side
Every step, every glide
Every moment of my life
Until one shall die

Remember the cold winters
The hurtful splinters
Mean, cruel bitters
The falling down on litter

I was there
I am here
But where are you,
When my time grows near

Problems I had
Which made me very mad
Where were you
When I needed an extra pad

Please my friend
Come out, come out
Where are you
When I need help

I was there
I am here
But where are you
When my times grow near

If the waves would stop moving
And the wind would stop blowing
Then I could be in your arms

Every second I need
A new world to step into.
I try to hide
My fears for you.
The fear of that
You will forever hate me.
But I need to come clean.
For this is my love.
I want you to know,
You are my love.

I was there in the beginning.
When it was just me and her.
We played and talked
Connected a lot.

Now it is all different.
I am not number one.
I am in the lower rack,
Where the wanna-bes hung.

I can sit in a room for hours.
And no one will notice I'm gone.
But I want to be apart of them.
That is what I do long.

So I sit here at my friends computer typing.
Can I even call her my friend?
And will I be stuck in loneness
Until the very end?

In the chambers
During the war
Behind my mother
Beside my brother
Into the dark
Without any food
Beside the Jews
Among the bodies
Into the labor
Back in the room
Through the gas
Behind my mother
Beside my brother
Among the dead

The wind is calm
As it blows against face.
Soaring like a pilot
Who just received his ace.

The leaves climb down
At a very slow pace.
Until it hits ground
And finds it's true place.

Fall is the time of year we sing.
Fall is the time of year the bells ring.
Fall is the time for happiness and joy.
Fall is the time for sadness never more.

The kids are laughing
As they play in the sun.
Smiling and clapping;
Having so much fun.

The pumpkins are harvested.
So large and ripe.
And the wonderful moon,
Dances in the starlight.

Fall is the time of year we sing.
Fall is the time of year the bells ring.
Fall is the time for happiness and joy.
Fall is the time for sadness never more.

What to write
When there is nothing to write?
Is it right to write,
When there is nothing to write?
But to write is right.
Cause there is always something to write.

Oh,
I love spring.
With the frogs jumping
Upon lily pads.
With the wind blowing
Cool against my face.
Just so peaceful.

Oh,
I love spring.
With the crickets playing
A colorful song.
With the sun being
A pretty gold.
Just so wonderful.

Oh,
I love spring.
With the green grass
Soft against my checks.
With shooting stars
Soring in the night sky.
Just so brilliant.

Oh,
But this spring was different.
The frogs didn't jumping
Upon the darkened lily pads.
The wind was blowing
But with a ugly stench.
Just so uncomfortable.

Oh,
But this spring was different.
The crickets weren't even playing
A sad and lonely song.
The sun was red with anger,
Behind the dark clouds.
Just so much loneliness.

Oh,
But this spring was different.
The grass was not green
And was hard under my feet.
And the sky,
Oh, the sky.
Was covered in clouds.
Could I not see
One star fly?

Oh,
That spring was a silent spring.
For the only noises
Came from yourself,
And the factories
And cars that flew behind you.

Will we be forever stuck
In a silent spring?

Rhyming is timing.
Loving isn't nothing.
Knowing is going,
Anywhere you want to be.

Teaching is needing.
Laughing is pathing.
Knowing is going,
Anywhere you want to be.

Reading is needy.
Believing is being.
Knowing is going,
Anywhere you want to be.

Writing is tiring.
Playing is funing.
Knowing is going,
Anywhere you want to be.

Good-bying is depressing
Helloing is joying.
Knowing is going,
Anywhere you want to be.

I know I am young.
Yet I want to stride.
I have goals in life
I wish to complete,
And pray I might.
Just let me be an author.

I know I am small.
Yet I wish to be big.
To tell people my stories,
And not just in poetry.
Just let me be an author.

I know I am not even a teenager.
Yet I still have feelings.
I have crushes, disappointments,
And yes, I have felt love.
Just let me be an author.

I know I may not get what I want.
Yet I can still try.
I can try to be an Olympic softball player.
Or maybe a amazing actor.
Just let me be an author, also.

I know many people do not know my name.
Yet I keep meeting new ones.
And one day I will be the star.
One day.
Just let me be an author.

Be the star
Hope is there
Never forget **love

My sweet, sweet girl.
Coraline.
Your hair is like the sun.
Shimmering all day long.
It glows each time you look at it.
Coraline.

My sweet, sweet girl.
Coraline.
Your eyes are the ocean.
They sparkle in the sun.
Dark and rich with blue.
Coraline.

My sweet, sweet girl.
Coraline.
You're like a flower beginning to blossom.
An almost ripe red rose.
And you will get to be one.
Someday.

Coraline.

My head is hurting,
My eyes are red.
Standing here, I do dread.

No pieces fit,
No words match up.
There is only a big lump.

My kitty jumps,
And rips it apart.
So I am temped to throw a dart.

The light goes out,
In my head.
I pray I am not dead.

My sight is blurry,
My voice is cracked.
My heart is beating with a lag.

The puzzle in front of me,
I can not complete.
But I won't fall in defeat.

Give a hug.
Give a kiss.
There are friends all around you.
Nothing can beat
This amazing power.
Not even the darkness of hatred.

Rise up
And be the light.
Like no one has before.
Give a sigh
Of true friendship
And be loved forever more.

This power of friendship is strong
Stronger than anything we know.
Not hatred nor death
Can truly **** this power.

So give a hug.
And give kiss.
For the power of friendship is all around you.

Roses are red,
Oceans are blue.
The green grass is soft with truth.
But somewhere out there,
Without a hint of despair,
I sit there in glee
Under the willow tree.

My parents have gone
Somewhere nowhere near.
Yet I shall not shed
A single tear.
I look up in the sky,
And see the birds fly,
Wishing someday to be free.

Roses are red,
Oceans are blue.
The green grass is soft with truth.
But somewhere out there,
Without a hint of despair,
I sit there in glee
Under the willow tree.

Heedless and lean,
I scramble in the weeds.
Playing with the bees,
I wonder what I need,
For I have no greed.
And just for me,
And whom I shall be,
I'll do myself one good deed.

Roses are red,
Skies are blue.
The green leaves are soft with truth.
But somewhere far out,
I do not scream or shout.
For I sit there in glee
Under the willow tree.

Flying high,
In the sky.
Don't fall down,
For I might die.
I love the sound
That freedom rings,
But I have no clue
What life does bring.

Soaring fast,
Hoping it will last.
The wind blows in my face,
Like a long single lace.
The smell of the flowers,
The green of the grass.
I do not fly in the future
Nor in the past.

No fence blocks me in,
No pole in my way.
Not even the birds,
Stop to say hey.
The felling of freedom
Does not sting the skin.
For it fills me with happiness,
From down within.

Flying high,
In the sky.
Soaring fast,
Hoping it will last.
I love the sound
That freedom rings,
But I have no clue
What life does bring.