As the cloth slips away,
She starts to pray.
What you see there,
Will it make you care?

Or will you run,
And find a gun
To shoot right here,
Into my heart, my dear.

I feel your eyes on my sides,
As they slip and slide,
All over and under,
As you shake me asunder.

And yet I ask, “do you see?”
I see burns and scars of the third degree.
Dare you trace the lines,
To learn the stories, which are mine?

Look closely as I trace my *******,
The small supple lumps unlike the rest.
You see back in the day I was small and flat,
As they sneered and jeered and said “what is that?”

Trace the red lines down toward my inner thigh,
From the lonely night when I realized,
That never again would I be able to cry.
That night a small part of me did die.

If you dare to look to my southern most lips,
They tremble and quibble from the bites and the nips
Of a night spent pinned by a man’s embrace
And being forced open for pleasures not graced.

But if you glance at the hole in my chest,
Where a beating heart should rest
You’ll see that it has been taken
By a father whose love has been forsaken.

So tell me truthfully
Tell me quite deeply
Is this tortured naked body worth seeing?
Or shall you run fleeing?

Be gone thy spirit and soul.
Let me die here and now.

For I have lost all hope of this life.
I wish for death on the swiftest of wings,
or a sign of hope on the stampeding
hooves of life.

Beaten down into the earth.
Bones of mentality shatter,
a dozen times over.

Screaming anxiety let my soul die.
Let my spirit dwindle.
I banish thee and go in grace.

For I have tried and failure prevailed.
I need not be here.
I don't belong.

So let me be and go and rest my
splintered spirit and die on this barren ground
which is called life.

A deep valley stands before us.
Surrounding trees rustle their leaves.

A crisp fall wind carrying desires blows gently.
The cold wind caresses my fair skin.

The long plains grass moves
to a rhythmic beat unheard.

You lean in,
with your hands wrapped snug around my waist.
You whisper in
my ear sweet promises and say one day this will be ours.

so close you are,
I feel the heat of your breath against my neck.
so close you are,
I sense the longing in your steps.

I close my eyes.
You squeeze me tight.
I lean back into you,
as we watch the fading light.

A sun sets behind the trees,
as silence fills the coming dark.

And yet so much is said,
by the closeness of our bodies,
by the way you caress my cheek,
by the way your hands are relaxed,
like holding a fragile peach.

Waiting all alone
waiting on this cold table
waiting for the doctors and the drones

I feel the scratch
of the itchy cotton gown
on the narrows of my back
as it climbs up and down

Displayed I lye on the medical tables hard cold steel
It seers into the crevices of my bones
I ponder the lone window and wonder if it's real
I listen for the bleep and bloop of medical tones

Nurses walk by in a mechanical grace
poke and **** & tap and touch my face
and then proceed to leave without a trace
with no hint of knowledge of my medical case

Waiting all alone
waiting on this cold table
waiting for the doctors and the drones

I'm a big girl, I'm a big girl
I begin to chant in a simple rhythm
as small as a ball I begin to curl
I'm abandoned inside this glassy prism

The dead silence creeps inside my brain
I want to scream to fill the deadly gap
but the cold thick air of silence brings pain
I comfort myself and say it will be ok

My breathing begins to quicken
my eyes dart around the room
only comfort is the fear which I am stricken
my sight goes bleary as darkness looms

Waiting all alone
waiting on this cold table
waiting for the doctors and the drones

Tears sting the corner of my eyes
I want someone to hold my hand
Oh God how I want to cry
but the only thing there is the bleeding arm band

The test begins with the thickness of barium
It slides down my throat and clings to my esophagus
It tastes like chalk and pandemonium
they want me to suffocate I guess

I chug and chug as the pictures are snapped
x-ray upon x-ray of my stomach and my back
Drink more Drink more They tell me to do
Nervously I shake and say, anymore and I will puke on you

Waiting all alone
waiting on this cold table
waiting for the doctors and the drones

Even more poking and prodding ensues
but of my stomach, ribs and *******
I lay rigid as a board from the pain of each touch
I grow weary of this tiresome rues

The tests are done
and the coast is clear
I am left alone
to dress myself in fear

Dismissed and discharged to walk away
they file my chart with a robotic smile
now for the wait of endless days
I'm lost in my mind's land of emotional exile

Waiting all alone
waiting on this cold table
waiting for the doctors and the drones

Pins & Needles Pins & Needles
I wait for the results
Is it stomach cancer, an ulcer or both??
In the dark I am kept like followers in cults.

You see her
every so often.
In the flit of wind,
or lick of fire.

Entangled in the fine
mane of a wild horse,
as she ride bare back
across the plains.

Innocents
once encompassed
A porcelain face,
but time,
the enemy
stripped it away.

Pursed lips, and
Dandelion eyes
embedded in a meadow,
where the sunrise
is like late night
bonfires blazing high!

Warm winds stole his embers
and placed them in her heart.
The wind cradles its creation
as it whispers softly to her.

Prone to wander
for the hearts desire
craves the elements,
to run
to live
to die

The desires, that dangers,
the very last breath.
All or nothing.
Take the final step.

Small, smooth,
round pebbles
sparkle like jewels.

The the pristine waters,
where it rises and falls,
Like her chest
as she sleeps
in the light,
of the afternoon sun.

Touched by the elements;
with hair like gold wheat,
skin smooth as alabaster,
and the color of white tulips,
eyes of the meadow,
and lips curved
like mountains.

Strength to spare
for the weary.
As she journeys
deeper within.

Young she looks,
but wise she is.
She calls you in
while eyes are glowing,
with that mischievous smile,
her laughter is the echoes
of an early morning song.

Fire child of the mountains,
frail flower of the east.
Lady of fire,
never cease.

I long for our time together.
The ecstasy of every moment.

Together we are a cascading waterfall,
of emotions, imagery, beauty and thought.

I crave the words and phrases that tumble
from your hard tipped lips.

I kiss and nibble your ivory skin,
brandishing the white with my own red ink.

The soft pale caress of our utterance
as your body swells and spills over
with my elaborate thoughts and deepest desires.

The sweet subtle change from
empty to full as I drink in and confess
every penetrating whisper
and every delicate moan onto thee.

I yearn to explore the strong rigidness
of you between my long silken finger tips.

I let loose and fly across this fleshy tundra,
as we merge completely and deeply every introspection.

A timeless moment of expression hidden secretly
in every inhale and exhale.
Expressions of the most profound;
love and lust
Reality and fiction
chaos and order
pain and pleasure

All of this I bestow on thee
waiting and timed just right
for that ever exquisite moment
of perfect unity.

As an ending ****** pulls and rips
its way through the soft tissues
of our souls, the most flawless
cries escape for us to behold.

The flooding release of one's own soul
as the body tremors and shakes
with its final gasps and goes limp
to lie in its final resting place.

But knowing you my dearest lover,
you shall never allow me the luxury
of repose for I give birth to spirit,
mind, body and soul.

And we shall ravenously dance
again and again, for that
haughty cycle shall never end
as I confess forever and ever
my very being and lay in wait
to be read and to be seen.

Please just go away,
That’s all I ask?
Do not stay.
Take this task,
And leave me be,
Let me weep,
Beneath the pomegranate tree.

My soul is lost unto thee.
Go find it,
And set me free.

Warn you I must,
For you will find,
A little girl of unconscious mind.

She is lost you see.
Friend from foe she can not tell.
Nor can she break the spell,
Alone that is.

Marred by the past she is.
Frightened of the future.
No home to go to.
No arms to rest in.

Time…
It will take much time to move her.
Patience you will need,
And that she has none of.
You see She wants to be free!!

Take her gently in your arms,
Once she has bestowed her kiss and trust on you.
Keep her away from harm,
And mind that you be true.

Bring her to me,
And I will let her die,
Within the folds of my eye.

There she will stay,
There she will remain,
Free to wander on the plains.
Free from the anguish of her chains.