What color is your hair?
You should dye it again.
Why did you do that?
I liked it better brown.
When I was little, I wanted to be lots of things.
A construction worker, an actress, an epidemiologist, a mermaid, an artist, but always—
Brave.
I made up my mind: whatever I did, I would do it fearlessly.
I remember, age nine, Idabel Oklahoma: the first time I saw that blue bottle of infinite possibilities.
I went in through the beauty store door and I left through a window.
Someday, I thought,
Maybe I’ll be brave.
Someday, I thought,
Maybe one woody streak of my boyish bob would become a declaration of just how few ***** I give about my reflection in the mirror like eyes of the entire universe.
Someday…
I went to a private religious school from a few months old until my graduation at age 18 in May of 2012.
“Unnatural” hair colors were strictly forbidden.
My blue fantasies remained the pearl hidden inside me
Throughout losing friends,
Throughout losing love,
Throughout losing self-control, self-respect, and finally selfishness.
I was liberated in June.
My hair is blue
For all the things I wanted to do, but never could.
My hair is blue
For the little girl who always told her self she’d do it and who finally followed through.
My hair is blue
Because my soul is blue. Not sad, no, but infinite and oceanic, divergent, powerful, indecisive and moody.
My hair is blue
Because I am finally okay with the blue inside of me, and it’s high time I looked more like the person I actually am.
My hair is blue
For me.
I exercised my powerful position as an individual, as sole sovereign over my place in the universe. I am my identity, I have the power to change your perception, the power to shift social circles, the power to do anything but remain the same.
My hair is blue
For the hearts of every single child who’s eyes have lit up at the sight of it. For the kids who maybe for the first time have realized that hair the same shade as their favorite candy-color is even a possibility; that they too are allowed to challenge the ordinary, that there is no “normal” way to be or look, and that the same window I once crawled out of is still open and beckoning.
I
Dyed
My
Hair
Blue
Because I CAN, and because you CAN, and because they CAN, and because we CAN, and because not enough people DO.