you are a faceless ghost
living in the marrow of my bones
and sometimes
i feel
like you are sitting
right behind me
but there is no one there
when i turn around

i wish you were there when
i turn around
so then
maybe i could justify
that lingering
sensation
on my fingertips

and why i feel
so connected
to the
emptiness in my bed
(and why I whole heartily
believe you
should
fill it)

i can smell the rain
even inside this classroom
that i am imprisoned in
it smells very...
awake
and energetic
i wish i was out standing in it
letting its energy
drip into me

standing in the kitchen
just the two of us
and a flame
flickering blue
the smell of a gas stove
and your soap
that's too strong and too earthy
i lied and said that it smelled nice in the store
because you liked it
and now it simmers in the foot between us
and we watch the processed red "food" burn
from a can
beefaroni
watery thin red
it tastes like nothing
in the clear bowl we used since the beginning of time
intensely
words slip out
between the carefully guarded gates of my mouth
empty empty sad sad
all a facade
that you now see though
2 minutes together
and my mind is screaming
secrets well hidden
lies well deceived
you press the bowl into my hands
and turn out the light
"oops"
you apologize
no real need
i've walked enough times in the dark to know my way around
in the quiet pocket of my room
the 4 walls
soul witnesses to my fall
watch as my head spins
and my eyes close
heat burning through the bowl
burning fingers
but i don't feel anything
no more room for food
i can't find the strength to place it down
i wasn't really that hungry anyways

Battling the incredible weight of eyelids,
Searching for knowledge, happiness, a productive purpose
Conflicting thoughts
Sway like the branches full of morphing leaves
On firm, yet flimsy trees
Anticipating a violently destructive storm

Darkness, a black blanket...
Covers the whirring sounds of uncertain  numbness


D
R
  I
    F
        T
               I
                                 N
                                                      G
Eyes closed

OPEN

close

             Open
c   l         o            s                   e

Drifting into a hope for tomorrow
Or today
4:27 am now

Sleep is a natural thing