the soft thump of leather boots
paints scattered across blue jeans
pen of black ink
nestled behind my ear
the sensation of oxygen
filling in my lungs
damp pavement
and melodies echoing
in my head
I am searching for paper
that figment of parchment
I have all the ink
yet I seem to kiss goodbye
the howling sheets
as I walk by
never quite feeling like
I should make permanent
my life

tectonic beams of golden rays
sweltering showers of sunsets say
beckon, really, sprouting delicate fingers
catch me
and I sink in the powdery white sand
toes slipping under chilly frothy seas
a striking reminiscent glint into fray
music resounding in ear drums fractured
pieces scattered by the sound of their laughter
chase after the receding glimpse
feeling the love sprouting from counting
the time takes flight across the seas
as if there is no tomorrow to seize
sprint, scream into the petrifying waters
the waves crash to your knees
threatening to buckle from underneath
it's now kissing your hips
and swallowing the tenderness
of my throat,
thrash hands into the light
the sinking sun, glistening blood orange, bites
its ghost glistening on the binding waves
catch me to treasure these figments you call yours
and maybe I can't swim fast enough
the ocean swallowing me whole
and this will haunt me forever
knowing what I once had
will never forever be mine

a maroon blanket wrapped around my shoulders
sitting under the waning yellow glow
of the desktop lamp,
nothing but the sound of the keyboards clicking
and the nighttime darkness pressing
my toes are slightly cold
and my stomach rumbles with hunger
in this dead of the night,
with remnants of daily bouts
scattered without a doubt
this moment sneaks utters clarity
so I have to record it
at how I'm painfully aware
that my heart in my chest
thumps without consent
out of necessity, it thrives
like how I weave in and out
of people's lives
just happens so, I cannot help it
never did I give permission
for loneliness to come rattling
against my rib cage and announce
that it's another period in time
no one here to keep the covers warm
or someone to hold hands with
down the lengthy sea shore
I am caught between day and night
just caught and careless
of what my head fills regardless
spontaneous illusions and
ravenous assumptions,
really, I am not as lonely as seemed
just a little hurt
in this fraction of in-between
I am set adrift
without someone
to keep my tethered
and warm