It's an unwanted return, this movie in my mind.
Some uncontrollable presence keeps hitting rewind, play, rewind, play,
On all of the memories that hurt me the most.
I wish I could take the remote and smash it,
Or give myself the Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.
I don't want to be given these flashbacks to endure.
Yes, I was happy at those times,
Yes, they made my smile,
Yes, they made me laugh,
But now?
Now they are individual knives, stabbing me unexpectedly,
Without so much as a warning, or sign.
And I cannot protect myself from them.
There is no armor I can wear, or wall I can build to prevent them from coming at me.
And no matter how much I fight their power over me, they still make their way into my head,
Then puncture my heart, relentlessly.
Flashes of pictures, of tiny moments, of full-fledged memories course through me,
And I'm completely helpless, having to sit through their destruction.
Each touch, each kiss, each moment of happiness are before my eyes,
But what once was pure joy, has turned into sorrow.
And I have to sit there, paralyzed by the loss of such happiness and simplicity.