It always happens at night
When the air is still
I lie awake and it begins
The slow build up from within
From a slight wheeze traveling up
The winpipes and rampages uphill
I felt the urge to resist and deny exit
But it always surprises me when it arrives
It puffs the cheeks and sends me to my knees
My mouth release a whopping sounds with everything it has
A fit of coughing so you see
It repeats all over endlessly.

Some days it's easier
I glide through the day
Without a glitch
My mind doesn't wonder

Some days it's a wreck
I stumble over the lil things
Every piece of you piercing
Like shards of glass as I pass by

Some days I wonder
If and when I let go fully
Would you come for me
At least in my dreams

Some days I try
I erase pieces of you
Little by little
Not enough to completely lose it all

Some days I surrender
I caress your name
Across my contact list
For that brief moment

I remember..
Why.

She does her little dance
in the mornings before sunlight
I watched from up in the loft and smile
She never knows, I am out of sight.

There's this thing called love
She embodies that in her being
Always thoughtful, always loving
Always giving, always yielding

I silently wait for the locks to turn
Upon which she enters the place called home
Weary and drained out of her senses
Not like the life she once loved and owned

When she lays to down at night
That glaze of her eyes before she sleeps
Her sweet scent lingers on and on
The rousing and restlessness that she keeps

The way her face glows when she smiles
The way she sounds as she comes alive
Her laugh as I pulled her close to me
The way she walks, but her heart I failed to keep

I swiped right
In a endless stream of distractions
A familiar face and curiosity
Something that held traction

And so I said hello
To this stranger with her pretty face
Not knowing if she would reply
And reply she did, putting me in my place

So began this momentum
A flurry of alphabets and numbers
From late morning to whenever
Glued to my senses, my fingers, I felt outnumbered

The volleys of words and phrases
Turned minutes into hours
To days and nights in a manner
That made everything sweet from anything sour

The typing took too long, impatient I was
On our little world, I had my own secret plan
Soon our voices were paired,
And so another chapter began

Our world had a new dimension
O just to hear her voice
Secretly dancing my heart did
It jumped it leaped I was overjoyed

The nights would begin
When the days have ended
Without so much as a break for us
Even just to get enough for a little slumber

My world was hers
Even if she didn't know this
I was wrapped around her finger
It was complete utter bliss

She and I are no different
Than everyone else with a heart
I was falling madly in love
Without knowing when, how or why

She led me into her world
With her arms outstretched
Falling forward, was in living hers
I was not really that hard to catch

This world we built in a few days
Sheltered us from forces outside
We lived in a made up cocoon of love
Made up of sticks and bricks and glass

In the mornings
My eyes they speak
I can't see her they say
I blink to focus,
Blurry images converging to one,
I see your face in my mind
It's not the same.

The smell of your skin
I smile remembering how that was
I turned around one day,
That intoxicating scent!
Your perfume that lingers in my head
You lie, it said, it's someone else,
It's not the same.

Your voice is in my head
That laugh, that texture of tones,
The words that you say,
And those that you don't
Whispers and haunts me so,
Hear me, it said, then, silence.
It's not the same.

The way that we kiss
The way that you taste
Our lips collide and interweaved
My heart skipped and flipped into a knot
Everything falls aside
I let out a sigh.
It's not the same.

I run my fingers
Through your hair
And the way your skin,
So smooth and bare
I felt it as my fingers trace
An invisible line along the way.
It's not the same.

I close my eyes now,
My ears are all blocked
I cannot feel your touch.
The way that you taste
Your scent they fade away
My senses they tell me,
It's not the same,

Without you in my life.

My eyes narrowed to a slit
Fingers clenched into a ball
My insides they shrivel
To brace me from my fall
Your eyes they betray your thoughts
You said so much in silence
Without even a sigh
Without a kind glance
Eyes that are filled with anger
Consuming every thought
That bore through my soul
Sapped of any emotion
You reach inwards
And scratched the surface
I bled from within.

It is unsettling.

It's the time of the day again
Evening sun setting in the west
That's when I will see you again
Your face, smile and your words in tow

The sun rays are stretching across
The floors through the blinds
That's when I will see you again
Your tenderness and your glow

Laughing at the moments of yesterday
I smile when I think of you
That's when I will see you again
Across the fields of gold

I look at the sky up above
The clouds and the blue streaks
That's when I will see you again
Warm even when the nights are cold

The trees sway in the breeze
As they do like water flows in the stream
That's when I will see you again
Oh your hands in mine I'll hold

That's when I will see you again.