It was in the tilt of
his crooked smile
I left a piece of
myself in

It was in the
crinkles by his eyes
I left a piece of
myself in

It was in the
slight dip of his collarbone
I left a piece of
myself in


Every part of my soul
shattered,
the pieces scattered
all over the
boy I once called
mine

But how was I supposed to know
he was the hurricane
when he looked like
morning rain.

I want to go back to the days
when waking up
every morning
was not a
chore.

I want to go back to the days
when I didn't have to
practice a smile
every morning in front of the
mirror.

I walk through time
hoping that the
planets in the
universe above
would stop
spinning,
so maybe,
even for one second,
my mind too
could
stop
spinning.

I want your lips
brushing against
my neck
telling me what you
have not told
anyone else.

I want your arms to
curl around my waist
like a promise
to never
let go.

But that's just it, isn't it?
Want. want. want.

Nothing
I'll ever
have.

Why do we
stumble through life
with eyes of ashes,
not questioning anything?

We are expected to
comply,
to simply sit on our hands
and smile.

Day by day,
our thoughts are
locked up and our mind
is held behind bars
with a key that no one
holds
yet everyone
knows.  

And inside the
crumbling cell we sit,
loosing what makes us unique,
ignoring
differences,
instead of embracing them.

We don't want to be
the cloud
in a clear sky
that is glowing with stars.

We live in fear
that we might
somehow break the
bars our mind is trapped
within but yet
we so desperately
want to escape.

And so,
we stumble through life
with eyes of ashes,
not questioning anything.

If you know
that it was not good enough
it's okay.
If you know
that it was your fault
it's okay.
If you know
that you are reaching a new low
it's okay.
It's okay because in the end,
it was you.
It was you
who picked up the pieces of your heart
It was you
who got up from the cold bathroom floor
It was you
who decided to get up this morning
and that is the strongest thing
a person
can do in their
lifetime.

It has been two weeks since she saw him
two weeks since she started to smile
two weeks since she realised she was falling

It took two seconds for her to see him
two seconds for her heart to falter
two seconds for her to fall

Now it will be two years since she last saw him
two years since he captured her mind
two years since she fell

How scary to think that in two days he will go
two days then she will be left alone
two days then all she will have of him
will be
withering thoughts
fleeting glances
and the feeling
of falling.