I thought it to be wonderful,
To only cause a sense of bliss.
Years of searching, years of dreaming,
Years of wishing for emotions like this.

Expectations held high,
Thinking that I would only ever smile.
That at the moments our lips met,
The world would stop for a while.

I believed it to be magical,
With ideas of fantastic futures.
My imagination depicting our passionate lives,
Perfection portrayed only through her.

In the depths of my mind,
Everything was figured out
And I was sure of how we would be:
A typical couple infused with happiness,
With lives that were worry free…

But with time I’ve come to see,
That love has just as well made me weak,
A fool of my own dreams,
And a victim of stupid fantasies.

It has infected me with stains of insecurity,
And unnecessary doses of jealousy.
With a highly pensive mind,
That only brings out the worst in me.

Is this how it is meant to be?
That when one finds true happiness,
The struggles begin to run deep?
That the little things begin to grow in power,
Causing everything I imagined to simply be devoured?

Can it be true, that I was wrong,
That love does more than set your heart free?

Well…as I lay here and
Await for the answer to strike from above,
I will continue the path I’ve chosen,
And refuse to believe in the dark side of love.

By arms extended,
To show that you belong here,
I will welcome you.

In the moments between now and then,
I pray that I will somehow see you again.
Though your words and laughter
Are enough to hold onto,
Nothing compares to the warmth I feel
With my arms around you.

In the moments between now and then,
I sense that maybe we’ll come to an end.
The thought of losing you is really overwhelming,
And it leaves me to sit and worry,
But in the end your love is reassuring,
So I know that it’d be okay to keep going.

In the moments between now and then,
I crave for your lips and the taste of your flesh.
Imagining the sound of my name in the form
of a gasping whisper by my ear.
The bending of our bodies and interlocking
Of our fingers as we lose ourselves without fear.

In the moments between now and then,
I know that I will indeed see you again.
But when time doesn’t move fast enough
To please the desire in my heart,
The fires begin to spread.
And though we’re in this together
I feel the miles pulling us apart,
Causing these dreadful thoughts in my head.

Will I really see you again?

I wonder if you know what your words alone make me feel,

You probably don’t have a clue.

However, I won’t bother finding phrases to describe what you cause in me,

I will show you through my actions,

And hope that you sense what I feel for you.

Lonely, lonely people.
We lay awake at night.
Asking ourselves the same question.
Why does no one lay by our side?

Lonely, Lonely people.
Is too late to give it a try?
I just feel like I’ll keep losing,
I need hands that will point to light.

Two hearts in mind,
Two hearts in mind.
You live with two hearts in mind.
One is his, the other is mine.
At times I win, and at times I cry.
You say to me that I should give up,
That it is just a waste of time,
But you honestly know nothing
About this love I hold inside.
Even if this battle never ends,
Know that this want for you
Will surely never die.

The morning sun does not shine
The way it once did.
Without the glow of your eyes,
Mornings remain dim.

Time refuses to move any faster.
It has chosen to slow in pace.
The days without you grow longer,
Delaying our next embrace.

To be honest,
It kills me inside.
This distance hurts,
More now than ever,
Because you’re always on my mind.
Its like we’re stuck in different worlds,
Worlds that don’t coincide.
Sadly, this is where I lie.
In a place where I know of your desires,
But fall short in means of
Making them come alive.

Someday I’ll paint a mural.
I’ll paint it on one of the walls in my room.
It will consist of your favorite colors,
Your favorite things,
Everything that adds up to you.
I’ll let it dry, I’ll let it show.
I’ll look at it at night when
The vibrant colors begin to glow.
And when I finally build up the courage,
When I get past the days that seem to drag on,
I’ll stand on my own two feet and.
I’ll break down that ******* wall.
I’ll even take a picture of the ruins,
Just for your eyes to see,
That the damage I did to the wall,
Was nothing compared to the
Damage you did to me.

You crave for a “love” that others speak of,
Yeah you crave a fantasy.
So you begin your search,
Putting yourself in several situations,
Until you come across the one,
Who can fill in all the spaces.
Slowly, you begin to make it real,
This dream you crave.
You feel as if everything is in your favor,
Like the world is at your mercy,
To heed ever word you say.
But then you start to notice,
How they begin to open once again.
The wind gushes through,
Ripping apart the laughs, the memories, the faces.
And with it, goes the one,
Who filled in all of the spaces.

Eighteen stories high,
And across my field of vision,
I see a blinking red light.
Though it blinks throughout the day,
It only catches my attention at night.
The world is dark then,
So it illuminates the sky.
To me they’re more than red flashes,
They hold importance in life.
Again, its at night,
When I make it back home
And glance at the world outside,
that this blinking red light reminds me
Of how I survived another day.

That I am still alive.

I see you from here,
And my hands extend to you,
But you don’t see me.

I enjoy talking to my walls.
They’re always there for me.
No matter the time,
They’re always free.

As I talk to my walls,
I feel so comfortable in my own skin.
I’m all my walls ever see,
So to them, I am a king.

They say I ****** her over,
That too many things have changed.
That even though they went and told her,
She refuses to obey.

They say she isn’t getting any younger,
That she’s throwing her life away.
That though they went and warned her,
She continues to walk my way.

They say that I’m a murderer,
That I tore her soul to shreds.
That though they tried to save her,
She only craved the warmth of my bed.

They say that I’m the one responsible,
That I’m the one to blame,
That I’m her only savior,
That I should wash away her shame.
But now I sit and wonder,
How do I keep things from being the same,
If every time I touch her,
She says, “Yeah babe, I love the pain.”

Fingers intertwined.
Such warmth between yours and mine.
Losing grip with time.

Words in the wind soar.
From her lips to open ears.
Nothing is secret.

I find it funny,
The way you twist to and fro.
The way your soft lips say yes,
As your proud heart says no.
Its this kind of difference
That makes me feel so very cold.
Cold as I push you against your will,
And cold as you start to ask for more.

Like the leaves in the Fall,
Everything began to change.
Not only into different colors,
But also different shapes.

The roads began to curve,
Skyscrapers began to twist and turn,
My stomach filled with nerves.
Did I suddenly wake up,
To find myself in a different world?

As I walked the newly formed streets,
There was nothing I could recognize.
And with my past now a dream,
I couldn’t help but wonder,
If there was anything here for me,
Among red skies and yellow trees.

I walked a couple more miles,
And quickly grew extremely tired.
Was there really something here for me,
Among twisted faces and crooked teeth?
And then I saw her smile.

So without any hesitation,
I thought that I could bear the change.
That I could bear the change.
That I could bear the change,
If perhaps for just a while,
But only if she promised to stay the same.

So I did in fact feel amazing,
For every moment and every second of it.
And I did in fact feel like ****,
When you told me it was time to stop it.

You see I sill kinda miss you,
After all, my heart thought your words were true.
And at times I still need you,
But apparently, there isn’t much I can do.

So I was right,
But it wasn’t such a sudden truth.
We knew each other in and out,
It wasn’t very hard to see through you.
However it still hurts inside,
Even though I saw it coming.
But I think I’ve suffered enough,
So do not expect to see me crying.

Your lips are moving, I’m sure,
But I’m not the one to hear your voice.
And its not like it has to be that way,
But I guess its your choice.
    
However I don’t see a reason behind it.
Everything’s the same,
Yet you make me feel like
I’ve changed.
I’m always trying, always thinking
Of different ways to keep you grinning.
But I guess that isn’t enough to make you stay
And the silence kills me.
    
You see I don’t care much for pleasure,
Nor do I care much for gifts to treasure.
I just want you to speak.
Tell me everything, just share with me
Your various hopes and dreams.
But you won’t, you simply don’t.
You simply carry out your ambiguous show.
Increasing the distance that drives me crazy,
The distance that burns every inch of my soul.

Oh how it burns.
How it ******* burns.

Tonight, and only for tonight,
I’ll hold you close under the starlight.
Warmly in my arms,
Moving the lone strands of hair behind your ear.
Losing myself in yours eyes,
To show you there’s nothing to fear.
Skin on skin, heart to heart,
I’ll tell you everything you want to hear.
Show me all of your expressions,
Let me listen to all of your voices,
Because after tonight, I will not be near.

We have gone from using our hands to using forks and spoons.
We have gone from crossing oceans to sending men to the moon.
From paper to cyberspace, Building bombs the redefined the meaning of power,
From staying on the ground to roaming the skies,
Being able to prepare meals in less than a quarter of an hour.
And yet, the concept of love,
Is ever so confusing.

As I sit here thinking,
Her words keep coming and my heart keeps beating.
As I sit here wanting,
Her lips keep teasing and my feet keep freezing.
As I sit here wishing,
Her hair keeps swaying and my arms keep reaching.
As I sit here loving,
Her eyes keep looking and the world stops turning.

It was never an act of love,
At least not a first.
Your face held an expression of lust,
And your touch had the ability to quench my thirst.

It was never an act of love,
At least not at the start.
However you seemed alone and lost,
So I began to worry and never let us be apart.

It was never an act of love,
At least not in the beginning.
But I found myself thinking of you,
Your words and laughter always kept me grinning.

It was never an act of love,
And I intended to keep it that way.
But your goodbyes tie my heart in a knot,
So I think I’m going to ask you to stay.

At times I feel amazing,
Like when you turn to smile my way.
At times I feel like ****,
Like when I sense no emotions behind
The words you say.

I guess its because I miss you,
That my heart worries if
You miss me too.
And I guess its because I need you,
That when you’re away, I feel alone
And bruised.

Maybe this is envy,
Or maybe I’m afraid of a sudden truth.
However, I’m sure I know the reason.
It is because I’m in love,
And I will endure this suffering for you.

Something in the way you move
When you walk away,
Tells me there’s nothing left to prove.
You my dear, don’t want me to stay.

You torment me,
With your playful mood.
Holding my hand
And allowing me to kiss you.
You should have never said those words,
Without being absolutely sure,
That I would be the one to save you
And shine a light in your dim world.

You of all should have know,
How weak I can be.
I followed you here,
Thinking it was destiny.
My heart was held out to you,
And now I watch it bleed.

Well let’s take it slow.
There’s no rush, tonight is all yours.
Take your time,
Pull on my lapel,
Go ahead and bite me
As I tighten my grip on your hair.

When you’re ready
I’ll lay you down gently,
Pull of whatever is left,
Tell you everything’s okay,
Caress your soft chest,
Until I’m sure you’re
Dripping wet.

Tonight won’t be something ordinary,
Nor something from a fantasy.
Its somewhere in between.
You’ll feel like magic,
But I’ll make you remember
The harshness of reality.

There’s no need to panic
When everything starts shaking.
Its all normal and expected,
So ride on my dear,
Till your back starts breaking.

Eventually you’ll memorize
The pattern of our bodies
When they move from side to side.
Its quite the strange delight,
Hearing your beautiful tune
As I hit you from behind.

When its time to close,
Scream my name, let it show.
Dig your nails into my skin,
Get your body to bend,
Get low.
Gasp for air, beg me to stop.

In.
Out.
Explode.

After reaching the end.
I’ll lay you down again,
Covering you with soft kisses,
Thanking you for fulfilling my body’s wishes.
Then we’ll lay here together,
Studying eachother with dreamy eyes,
Hoping that tonight,
Won’t be the last time.

Lately I’ve been dreaming,
Of the old days. Oh its amazing,
How things have changed. Back then,
When nothing made us worry, Back when
We were free, I loved it when you smiled
At me. I’m sure it was you, who was first
To make my heart skip a beat.
I remember how we used to hold hands,
Every second of every day, whenever we had
the chance. I also remember the feeling
Of holding you in my arms, and how you
Always made me happy when I was sad,
Afterwards saying something like “Psh, that was hard.”
Your sarcasm, geez,
Something I definetly dont ever again want around me.

But you know, what I remember most,
Are the things you had to say, Before
You went away.


“Before I go, I just
Want you to know, That I
Wont cry anymore. That I’ll never be
Lonely, because all the memories of you,
Will keep me company. I wish I could stay,
Even if it were for just one more day.
You’ll forever be in my heart, and I promise
To never forget your name. There are
So many things, I want to say to you, but
I have no more time left, so listen because
I’m going to say the words I hold most true.”

“I Love You.
I Love You.
I Love You.”


Never again,
Did I ever get that same fuzzy feeling.
I tell my friends about you all the time,
But they just don’t believe me.

Just because I love,
It doesn’t mean I’ll always smile.
It doesn’t mean I’ll hold your hand for a while.
It doesn’t mean that for you, I’d walk countless miles.

Just because I love,
It doesn’t mean I’ll give you my name.
It doesn’t mean I’ll take all the blame.
It doesn’t mean that I’d hold you close, and kiss you in the rain.

Just because I love,
Don’t assume I clearly see.
Don’t assume its just you and me.
Don’t assume I’d let you take advantage of me.
Just because I love - My friendship isn’t guaranteed.

I wonder what it would feel like,
To have you by my side, to call you mine,
And see your smile shine throughout the night sky.

I wonder what it would feel like,
To have you cry on my shoulder, wipe away your tears,
And whisper in your ear the words “I’ll always be here.”

I wonder what it would feel like,
To have you call me a **** after teasing you about
The things that make you Silly.
How you’d probably pout or even throw me out of your house
If I went a bit too far. But its kinda cute,
So can you blame me?

I wonder what it would feel like,
To hear the words “I love you” drift away from your lips.
Oh how I would melt into tiny bits.
You know I’d promise to always love you too,
For as long as the sun stays bright and the flowers continue
To Bloom.

I wonder what it would feel like,
To stand with you under the moonlight, exchanging sacred
Words by simply looking into your eternal eyes.
Could we just stand there for hours ?
Because I would never want to say good bye.

I’m dying to know what sensation I would get as our lips
Meet passionately.
Dying to know if your sweet scent would define
What true love is meant to be.
Dying to know the feel of your goosebumps as your soft skin
gently brushes against me.
Dying to know if my heart would beat faster,
Than anytime before.
Dying to know if the butterflies within me,
Would break out of their cage and set my soul free.
Dying to know, if holding you close in my arms,
Would finally make me realize what I’ve always been missing.

You.

You declared war,
And my heart was the battlefield.
You saw the bullet coming, Yet you showed no fear.
And I know why, I know why…
Because you knew I’d get in the way and be your shield.
I hate myself,
For the simple fact of loving you.
The one person I gave my heart to,
And the one person,
Who ripped it in two.

We held hands through the April showers
And as our lips met for the first time,
My heart pounded as loud as the passing thunder.
Your smile always kind and your eyes always so inviting.
I hope this is real, not mere fantasy.
Please, don’t ever let me go,
Because without you, I’d freeze.

We held hands as we watched
The summer sunsets color the sky red.
“I Love You,” is what we both said.
“Lets always be together, let nothing break this.”
We kissed and sealed this summer promise.
Your smile so warm, your eyes so bright.
As I walked you home that night,
I realized that you and me was destiny,
It felt so right.


We held hands as we walked down the yellow brown colored road.
It was fall and I fell for you,
And with all my heart I hope you fell for me too.
“Nothing can go wrong” I began to think,
But the thought was stained with doubt when
I saw you with him.
This can’t be, I’m just being silly.
He can’t mean more to her than me.
Your smile…it feels empty and your eyes seem hollow.
Its just my imagination, nothing more than an exaggeration.
She said she loved me, so the heart is what I’ll follow.

We held hands while exploring our winter wonderland.
But your grip is loose and the warmth is gone.
I turned to you and smiled, “Merry Christmas” I said,
“What I have for you is not a present but the key to my heart instead.
Take it please, its for you and only you.”
You didn’t smile anymore and your eyes looked away.
“I’m sorry but I can not take this gift. My heart does not beat like it used to,
and away from you it began to drift.”
You turned and left forever, and with you was my heart.
How did this happen? You said we’d never grow apart!
I loved you ******! I loved you with all my heart…
You were everything and without you I now have nothing.
Was my love not enough for you? Was it not enough to make you stay?
I thought you knew, I though you could see
How I’d do anything to have you with me.
So return and help me survive the winter’s harsh cold..
“Come back….come back..”
And like the snow,
I fell to the ground and froze.

Hello Stranger,
Its been a while since we’ve spoken.
I don't know about you but it would be nice,
If you didn’t always shut the door so tight,
So we can finally break the ice.
You suddenly went into a withdrawal,
Was it something I said during one of our silly quarrels?
If so please forgive me,
You know I have trouble controlling myself when I speak.
Or did one of my actions cause this?
If so please forgive me,
You know what I do sometimes makes our path twist.
I regret all my mistakes,
And I don’t want to keep using this artificial smile.
My emotions have gone and left me behind,
I only receive information, analyze and send back a logical reply.
Please come back to me, its you who I truly miss,
Its the only feeling I have left,
And without you, I won’t ever reach a state of bliss.
Open your door, and lets forget about our scars.
My arms are ready to embrace everything you are.
Together we’ll be free, and we’ll carry a real smile as we live life through.
I promise that this time I’ll be careful and not break you.
I don’t want us to be incomplete anymore,
And only as a whole can we find out what the future has in store.
I only want us to be what we used to be!
So hurry and awaken within me,
And as one make our life a true reality.

Love,
Enzo.

We’ve still got many roads to take.
Don’t stop, don’t stop.
I’m sure we’ll escape.
Take the lead, and just push through.
We’ll make it, we’ll make it.
I’m right behind you.
So close to life, almost above ground.
No worries, no worries.
I’m still around.
There’s our exit, there’s the promised light.
Keep going, keep going.
You can see the stars with me tonight.
We’ve arrived, the journey up is done.
I’m sorry?…. I’m sorry?
There’s only room…. for one?
You don’t want me in the picture, Outside the frame?
But I love you, I love you!
Oh…this love was just one way?
Just a tool in your little game….
Betrayal, betrayal.
Hope you fry in hell’s flame.
You won’t be happy, you’ll carry the burden of a frown.
I’ve been here, oh yes I have.
Its the way down.
I smiled as you cut my thread.
You made it, You made it..
I’m dead.

Ah, the joke’s on you.
Go ahead and believe only what your eyes can see.
I’m flying, I’m flying.
And its you who set me free.

Desperate. Desperate.
Why won’t you turn towards me?
Your pushing me towards self-hate,
Towards a lonely end.
Why do you tease me.
When I’d take whatever amount you give me.
Come. Please,
And set me free.
Don’t you know, don’t you see.
That I just want you to be with me.
Your already here so don’t just leave…

Instead fulfill my desire, break this trance,
Let us begin a burning romance.
Think of the warm body heat, Your fragrance so sweet.
The silence of night and the racing of the heart’s beat.
The taste of two lips, seclusion from the world outside.
The calling of our names, with your hands in mine.

Oh if only you knew,
What I have planned when this comes true.
You see when its over, I am pleased.
You were just a mere want, not a need.
So as your eyes open, to greet the sun and wave the moon goodbye.
I will not be laying by your side.

You didn’t wait.
You refused to wait for me.
Now I’m all that's left
Of what we used to be.
I’ll find another to make me smile,
And pick me up from all this waste.
Trust me baby, she’ll be just like you but even better.
The next level of copy and paste.
And surely, when she also leaves me one afternoon,
The frown I’ll have for her,
Will be bigger than the one I had for you.

You.
You have nothing to fear.
Nothing’s too far.
Everything’s near.
I was thrown away.
Banished to this cold place,
Suffocated by these past years.
Don’t you try and rescue me,
You won’t ever see my tears,
Since I’ve grown to love it here.