when people leave
you get this feeling
an ache in your chest
your heart never rests
it doesn’t matter
how they leave
be it
by closing their eyes
and letting the dark
consume them whole
or just them moving
across the globe
there is no doubt
you will feel
things that no one
deserves to feel
it might feel
as if a knife
were to go right through your chest
as if a blade
was made for your wrists
and sometimes
you think that it’s your fault
but please don’t
you already did your best
e.j

the aching feeling in my chest
just wouldn't go away
it was almost as bad as the time
you tried to cut me open
to inspect my heart and mind
i swear
i thought i was never able to feel again

you never handled me
with much care at all
but then again
since when did i ever mind
you walking all over me
and using me for your own good
you were never ever kind

you left me without a word
now the pain is back again
i wouldn't even call it pain
because i can't feel anymore
i'm practically void of feelings

but you learn something new
every single day
and today i've learnt
that emptiness
is the worst pain of all
and that feelings never really go away
and that no matter how hard you try
to survive and be void of feelings
all at the same time
you'll never be able to get by

e.j

when you hurt yourself
you come back stronger
that must be the reason why
i keep hurting myself
physically
so i’ll come back stronger than before
but why is it that
whenever my heart gets broken
even with lengthy periods in between
i’m still as weak as ever
and sometimes
i find myself
being worse than before
e.j

i'll give my body and soul
to the smoke from the forest fires
and the mist you see at four in the morning
as well as the morning dew
you'll hear my voice in the wind
so don't worry when i leave
because i'm never gone
and i will always find my way back to you
e.j

just because she does not speak
you should take it that she's weak
just because she does not dare
say what's on her mind
you should take it to your advantage
and treat her like she's blind
because one day she will snap
and she'll leave the without a word
but what's worse is that
you'll finally realise that she was
your whole world

e.j