I am blowing out the candles
Because I no longer light up your life anymore
I have stopped whispering my poetry in your ears
Because you are not worthy of the sweet words I have laced with honey
I gave back the sweaters
Which lost your scent
Similar in the way I lost myself
And ruined everything

"Her life is made of rose petals."
I say
And I am crying quietly now
"Mine is made of thorns, and I am always getting pricked and she is always basking in the sun."
You look at me and say,
"Rose petals will wither, but your thorns are only making you stronger. You will be protected most against predators; but she will be destructed by the first demon that lays it's tight holding grip upon her petals."

I couldn't begin to concentrate
Today was filled with black suits
And doves flying away
Today was filled with fingerprints left on coffins
And tears flowing relentlessly
Today was filled with you not caring about how I was feeling
You didn't show up to the funeral
Hell, you didn't even call..
I'm begging you
I am down at your feet
Gasping for air
And you are looking around as if I embaress you
Maybe, we shouldn't continue this
You wanted to hear me whisper in your ears
You only wanted parts of me
You didn't want all the baggage
Why do I have to beg you to love me???
Why do I have to beg you to call me and ask me if I am ******* okay?

Sometimes,
I rest my head upon my wrist
To hear the rhythmic pattern that is my heartbeat
It reminds me I am still alive
I wonder how that is

I've felt sad before
But not like this
And I'm sorry for sounding so desperate
Its just that we've tried so hard for this
We fought for this for months
Please stay
Your mother said you were overwhelmed
I understand that
But I didn't understand how I could overwhelm you when you only reserved me one day a week at most
Please stay
I keep apologizing
Because I know I am a burning flame
And I tend to ignite everything in my path
Which often tends to be you
I keep begging you to
Stay, stay, stay
When it used to be you telling me that
It used to be you that would plead at my feet
You prayed to a god you didn't even believe in
You prayed that I would remain forever
But now you are packing your belongings
You are taking your old sweaters you gave me
You gave back the journal
Please stay
Ask me why there's a knife hidden on top of my dresser
Kiss my scars baby
Tell me you don't want me to be anyone else's mess
Say "I want you to be mine always"
Please stay
I can't stand the thought of you leaving
The blood in my veins is being ****** out through a straw
And you seem to be the one with pursed lips at the other end
You used to inhale the sweet parts of me
And exhale the bad
Please stay
Because this place I've come to is dreary
Full of monsters that knock at the door
Begging me to let them in
I've let in a few lately
As you can see they are taughting me
And bashing out my windows
Opening my rib cage
And tearing my insides to shreds
However I am still begging you
Please stay

At night
I lay my head down on my tear stained
Pillows
And I wonder if it will begin again
The crying
The ache
The hunger for your touch on my skin
You fell asleep hours ago
And who knew that love makes you feel things they never showed in the movies
I feel knives taunting my rib cage
When I heave for air
And it was nights like these when you used to hold me
Tell me we were okay
You were honest
Brush my hair and wipe my tears
Tell me
I am a ******* mess
And flash your teeth at me playfully
Say "baby, I love you. You are the only one for me."
Because it was written on the script you had engraved on your palms when you started out in that play
It was the line you used for everyone
I'm trying not to worry about this girl
But all I can taste is ******* acid when you are away
I will never know the truth that lies beyond the lights of your phone
I will never know you
But I am trying still
Why is that?
It's because love makes you sick
Love makes you ******* irrational
And when I fall asleep at midnight
With school in 6 hours
I don't think
"Wow, this must be love"
I think about the dreams that I've been trying to escape from
And lately, no one realizes why I have been so sleep deprived
It's because I cannot escape you
This has taken a downward turn towards words unspoken
These words have been filling my chest cavity
And they are going to burst
If I cannot tell you them

I can feel my heart sinking to my stomach
And violence raging inside of me
I can feel fighting take place between take place between my hands and my mind
Because I want so horribly to reach for the knife
I've been hiding just a few feet away
I feel chaos in my veins
Because my heart is trying to pump out the blood so rapidly
To the area you have just exposed
And maybe it wasn't me with the knife after all
Maybe it was you
And maybe it's been you that has been causing
These devastating blows to my body
And I'm really not sure how much longer
I'll be able to take
Your punches to my head
Or your kicks to my sides
Or the poisoned alcohol you've coated my throat with
I'm also not sure about your own sanity
As well as I'm not sure about mine
But I think you've lost it
I believe, we've lost it
I don't know who you are anymore
Maybe I didn't know you to begin with
And maybe you've always been a faceless stranger
And I've been reaching out for your hand lately
Hoping to find familiarity within your palms
But for some reason I am so lost in them
I am more than lost
I am astray
Perished
And destroyed
And I'm not sure who's hand I'm reaching g out for anymore to save my from this
Sinking
Ship
Of
Perplexity...