"I love you"
1:00 am admissions
Eyes creaking open, head throbbing
Dehydrated from sorrow
Desperate words, wrapped in midnight magic
Said in the hush, secreted under the door
Sweetened by the bitter knowledge of love but not in love
Re-opened once more to hurt
Hearing regret, slapped by reality
Burdened by its curse

The more I walk from who I used to be
I see her like a shadow in the back of mind
Still gripping his hand waving, happy
I feel his deceptive smile crawling upon his face like the many legs of a creeping insect
Deceit on his lip stick touched mouth
Her oblivious countenance innocent like a child

Hearing laughter I look forward
Some half drunk bumbling idiot, watery eyes locked radar pleading escapism
Too focused behind
I know her too
I'd know those curls anywhere
I feel where she's going, what she's trying to avoid
That wrong side of lonely
Curled around her memories trying not to feel.

Lip stick stains the flesh of the mouth
The rim of a glass
The side of a straw
Coats the flippant strand of hair leaving little red streaks on the cheek
It melts in the sun, dripping into the mouth with the taste of wax
It brightens the white of the teeth and shadows the black of a bruise
It compliments the eyes, those brilliant blues
That cupids bow dripping red from a swollen nose burst brighter
Shadows and contour that girl is on fleek
That little red tube is nothing if not unique

Fumbling the black out night
Were little light comes through the curtained window
Tripping over the discard of shoes
Pillows fallen off the bed and memories
Of when you laughed as I stumbled into the night bathroom clumsy hands looking for a switch
Waking for a three am bath for no reason
Other than to feel hot water on my skin
Sitting sideways to accomodate a second person in the too small bath
Maybe its not love I miss maybe its the happiness
The child like play I splashed bubbles against your chest
Leaning in for eskimo kisses and a teasing tickle to your side.
Its the little things the innocent wonder that I miss most

I feel like a rare creature
Too difficult to catch
Prancing just outside of awareness
Staring at baited traps
Independent and beautiful
A rose among dandelions
With sharp wit and tact
I feel like a rare creature
From mythos and legend past
For as much attention it brings me
When no one believes I exist.

Love is whispered words of devotion
Bringing someone forget-me-nots'
To remind them you care
Its doing things for another despite the burden it can bring to you
Its putting them first always
Like a speeding train on a down hill ***** or crashing into a wall at full speed
Its messy
And make someone feel *****
Emotuonal ******* a quagmire of drama
That does nothing but cover someone in its filth
That even when over clings
Yeah love can be beautiful but all the **** that comes with it often is not
Sometime honestly I'd rather just ****

Plastic petals crinkle crinch and crumble under the harsh rays of the sun
Bleaching out the painted on color
Melting away the glitter glamour and guilt
Leaving behind something rather ugly
Something brittle and fragile
As shallow as your artifice
And as broken as your promises.