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15
Emmatell Feb 2014
15
Do I smell
like I'm torn to molecules?

You're as fragile as
the color of quartz or
a porcelain doll or
a rare wildflower or
an ill newborn

I'm out of order
my voice is patheticly vomiting over itself
my own body feels like cutting of the corners
my eyes only focus on what isn't there
my brain is though, the most critical one
since it works okay

An oily lane of rainbows
A field of hunger and rage
I wonder what awaits
Emmatell May 2017
it starts in my stomach
builds it's way up
i exhale heavily
i have had enough!

i'm kicking and boxing
trying to escape
all i feel is restlessness
i only recall shape

a clock on the wall
a bed shielding danger
dusted blue
and the smell of a stranger

is this the box
where you want me to be?
is this the world
you want me to see?

nervous for my behaviour
the man asks if i'm reading fairytales
i ask if he reads brains
he concedes and slowly inhales
Emmatell Feb 2016
Jeg vil gerne bedøves
Så jeg ikke skal overdøve
smerte med smerte

Ligesom når jeg bider mig i kinden fordi det gør ondt i foden
Man kan vel sige at det udjævner smerten og gør den mere tålelig

Jeg har altid gerne ville forhekses
Så jeg ikke længere har magt over min egen krop og mine egne tanker
Så en anden må påtage sig mig

Nu tager jeg toppen og bunden
Tager det bedste og værste
Sluger det
og vælger en monoton mellemvej
Emmatell Jul 2014
That favorite boy of hers, mumbles her name out in the unsecure no-one sorrounding him. They would touch art and share galaxies and laugh until the dawn. She invested her time in him, and vice versa did he invest his time in her. It turned out though, that the odds were dry and not she, nor him, planned to water them. So she got herself a pretty little fiancé; a man capable of nothing but air kisses. He wasn't meant to be, but they were. While the fiancé was far away, she would cut her peonies and make her skin look like shallow marble and braid her hair. All day, every day. But only until dawn, where that favorite boy of hers, would rip of her silk shirt and draw lines between her freckles with his bare hands. Her shaking and pale body would greet everyone she thought was nice - none of them were. All they wanted was to demand her generation to touch their chosen ones and no one else in their entire city. It was tragic, grasped the lady at the hairsaloon, while she was extending peoples illusion of youth.
Emmatell Jul 2013
I didn't know I was that fragile
I didn't know that when my body is filled up
It will eventually explode
And everyone will be able to see the cracks
From where my alarming red thoughts are floating in the night

- *Emmatell
Emmatell Jan 2014
den måde sammensætningen af vokaler og konsonanter
flød
gled
smuttede
hen over dine læber
rev fat i mig så langt inde
at det næsten ikke kunne mærkes

du åbnede op til dine inderste blodårer
lige foran min trommehinde

verbalt
brutalt
genialt

du er en demo på mine tideligere dårlige idéer
du strejfer de hengemte tankepakker jeg ellers havde pakket så fint ind i blødt papir
og gemt langt, langt ned under min seng
Emmatell Aug 2013
It is terrifying
absolutely devastating
what thoughts swim into
the ocean of my mind
at night
Thoughts about
the painful joy
of breaking
every
          single
little
         bone
and thoughts about
the joyful pain
to cut over
every
         single
little
        vein
Just so that I will know
If I ever was alive

- *Emmatell
Emmatell Sep 2013
You may think
That the running blood
Would be the most painful

You are so wrong

The most painful is lying there
When the voice that used to touch you
Can't even reach you
Usually it could make you cry
And that helped a lot
It would touch your feelings
Make you feel alive
Now..
You just lay there
You need open cuts to feel alive
The high notes, the strong words
You almost thought was written for you
Isn't enough

And yes
The bruises are painful
But not near as bad
As being dead
inside

- *Emmatell
Emmatell Jul 2014
The tide drags me back and then exhale me out
I'm falling/bending over
I can be your rotten, little lipstick flower in the wind

They tell me what happiness is and I unconsciously agree
All I can think about is the mink robe and the bathtubs sound when i exhale enthusiastic bubbles

That pretty face of yours; can I rent it for a dollar?
Emmatell Jun 2013
Shiny hair
framed the perfect face
with cheekbones build in stone
and red lips, so big and oh so kissable

I wrote a book
only about those eyes
two wet crystals surrounded
by her lovely long luscious lashes

Provocation beauty
her body was a piece of art
collarbones just as sharp as knives
shoulder blades like the wings of an angel

But her mind was a place
where I wouldn't wish my worst enemy

empty - yet burning
filled up - yet freezing

- *Emmatell
in
Emmatell Dec 2016
in
you enamoured the skin in which she was crawling and burned your fingerprints into her stomach

dandy darling dollface lover
please bloom tonight
she's been watering your affection  
for way too long

is she number six or twelve to not
wake you up from your loveless haze
do you only feel attraction in contemporary moments

i ask because she'll have to wear the scars of your fingerprints until her skin is falling off
Emmatell Aug 2013
Sometimes when you're all alone
In the whole world, in the middle of the night
The sight of those small patient pieces of light up in the sky
Makes my tears dry

I look down on the street, where small raindrops are patiently lying
I know they are lighten up by the city light
But they somehow reminds me of the stars
Like if those small marks after the rain earlier are a reflection of the light in the sky.

And that makes me think that maybe I too is just a sad reflection
of something in the sky
only lighten up by city lights.

- *Emmatell
Emmatell Mar 2016
My medication
Is the colour
Of the sky in spring

Include my memories
In your repertoire
So that someone will recall
my past self

I beg you pardon
On my knees
Or my feet if you prefer

Pure chemicals is this
And I am it, too
It's what holds my head
Yet it's breaking my neck

I'm not just searching for a rose coloured reflection staring back at me
But at least remember who I was to you and what you imagined me to be
Emmatell Oct 2014
Flowers rottening, is the reason to grow them
The acknowledgement of a volatile time
Templates an, at least real, ache

Embracing the pain possible to touch with fingertips
When imitating deleted feelings

The satire of smashing a plate to feel complete
Emmatell Jul 2014
My hand smells like sensual cinnamon smoke and all my words are affected by your existence.

I want to extend every thought I have and I want to start every sentence with additions.

I can only put you in perspective to the trademark of yours; the toxic wonder feeding several, miserable addictions.

Words slowly drags me into stories of another persons mind and you only stay because of your petted persistence.
Emmatell Sep 2013
This morning I woke up
with the voice of a light Greek siren
screaming inside of my head

And I've kept it all day
the promise I made the siren
I've been awful all day
but in such a joyful way

I did exactly what I shouldn't
the one thing I've been dreaming about
and dreaming about not doing
The siren made me do it

With her delightful voice
she betrayed my mind
I can still say no
but I don't want to

Now I don't wanna disappoint her
and her beautiful voice

Even though I know
the siren may someday be turning
into the sound of a siren

- *Emmatell
Emmatell Sep 2014
While creating colorful moments for the distant sorroundings
I try to fade you away

They say september is a new start
They do and then diet

My pupils expand
My wrist hurts

We shape moments and ourselves
Together yet lonely

You play xylophone on my body

1234
5678

You shatter glass boxes with conserved feelings
I burst
Emmatell Jun 2014
and I escape
away away
into everything
right here

this thin and silky edge between air and water
crashed crushed

the once so filled lungs got emptied
bubbles danced out of my mouth
as I drowned deep down
I thought I could
walk on the waves
Emmatell Jun 2013
What if

In Arabic there's a word
That describes your feeling
In this invisible moment
perfectly

What if

In French there's a phrase
That describes your tear
And why it's running now
perfectly

What if

In Swahili there's a poem
That describes your past
And why it isn't gone
perfectly

What if

You live your life
Without even noticing
That your wicked, stupid mind
Can easily be perfectly described

- *Emmatell
Emmatell Sep 2014
Oh, how you moan!
Then pour another glass,
light another one
and check your phone.

Look at those wet eyes!
Red with a bash of regret,
consuming air
and at last you realize;

tears are elusive
but scars are not

— The End —