You may think
That the running blood
Would be the most painful

You are so wrong

The most painful is lying there
When the voice that used to touch you
Can't even reach you
Usually it could make you cry
And that helped a lot
It would touch your feelings
Make you feel alive
Now..
You just lay there
You need open cuts to feel alive
The high notes, the strong words
You almost thought was written for you
Isn't enough

And yes
The bruises are painful
But not near as bad
As being dead
inside

- *Emmatell

It is terrifying
absolutely devastating
what thoughts swim into
the ocean of my mind
at night
Thoughts about
the painful joy
of breaking
every
          single
little
         bone
and thoughts about
the joyful pain
to cut over
every
         single
little
        vein
Just so that I will know
If I ever was alive

- *Emmatell

Sometimes when you're all alone
In the whole world, in the middle of the night
The sight of those small patient pieces of light up in the sky
Makes my tears dry

I look down on the street, where small raindrops are patiently lying
I know they are lighten up by the city light
But they somehow reminds me of the stars
Like if those small marks after the rain earlier are a reflection of the light in the sky.

And that makes me think that maybe I too is just a sad reflection
of something in the sky
only lighten up by city lights.

- *Emmatell

I didn't know I was that fragile
I didn't know that when my body is filled up
It will eventually explode
And everyone will be able to see the cracks
From where my alarming red thoughts are floating in the night

- *Emmatell

What if

In Arabic there's a word
That describes your feeling
In this invisible moment
perfectly

What if

In French there's a phrase
That describes your tear
And why it's running now
perfectly

What if

In Swahili there's a poem
That describes your past
And why it isn't gone
perfectly

What if

You live your life
Without even noticing
That your wicked, stupid mind
Can easily be perfectly described

- *Emmatell

Shiny hair
framed the perfect face
with cheekbones build in stone
and red lips, so big and oh so kissable

I wrote a book
only about those eyes
two wet crystals surrounded
by her lovely long luscious lashes

Provocation beauty
her body was a piece of art
collarbones just as sharp as knives
shoulder blades like the wings of an angel

But her mind was a place
where I wouldn't wish my worst enemy

empty - yet burning
filled up - yet freezing

- *Emmatell