Pls

"How are you?"
Such an empty question, with an even emptier answer:
"Good."

I'd like to tell (you) how
Everything I (see) looks disgusting to me.
Watermelon seeds are like bugs
eating away at the raw, juicy flesh.
The ground is infected with muddy snow.
The melting of it unearths carcasses of lost junk.
Leaves are discs of decay.
The wind breathes smoky, tarry clouds by
– fogging up my mind.
Tongues are like slugs; kissing is repulsive.
Bodies are malformed clumps of clay, painted with egos.
Slimy egos.
The emptiness corrodes me.
It's about to get paradoxical,
how full of caves (my) heart is,
each echoing:
"You. You. You."

I'd like to tell you
how when I think of you, my mind immediately jumps to:
Our budding tu(lips) touching.
Embracing you,
the comforting muscles of your arms like sculptured masterpieces,
sheltering me in a warm bubble.
Your breath whispering on my neck, my skin replying with static fuzz.
When I think of you even the puddles of mud look like silk.
The clouds (move) by like pillows of the sky.
Leaves, sheets of oneliness, become one
in an orchestra conducted by the wind.

I want to tell you everything
*(but you can't hear me.)

(I)
watched – the trees sliding past – us
blur into each other.
Rush, rush, rush
said the air
as we approached the horizon
The sky was an opaque grey;
(looked) like a cement wall.
I imagined an invisible giant placing the earth into a concrete box.
I wondered if I had ever been
a blur in(to) the scenery – (the sky) –
for someone watching me through a car window.
What was meant to be a comforting hand on my shoulder (instead)
felt stiff and contained, it felt like
fingers – were – made (of) plastic
I wondered if
parts of me were perhaps stuck
on a landscape like smeared paint
– mistakes –
I wondered if (you) my love
had ever driven past me.

Oh, what I'd give to
be raindrops falling into
a puddle of you

Spring is meant for growth:
Blooming, budding, flourishing.
...Why am I breaking?

Life digs her fingers
in me; she's been using my
heart as a stressball

Lion-eyes,
your gaze smears me in crimson.
I am your prey.
You boast your mane,
I shut my eyes.
But your growl vibrates through me.
The courage spills past bravery into insolence.


When I shield myself behind a mirror
you don't recognize yourself.
I am to blame.
You say,
"This is a compliment."
but all I see are
grinning canine teeth.


To you, I am always
*RED.

S                  O                   M                   E                  W                   H                   E                   R                  E

U
  between-----between-----between-----bet­ween-----between-----between-----between-----between
S


sprouted­
a
wall

Hurdling over it used to be fun.
until it grew, and we had to mount it
but even then, the feat of
                                                                ­                                 g
                                 F                                                   n
                               A                                          i
                    ­            L        &                 b
                                      L             m
                                  I
                           ­       l      |     N
                                    c          |         G  
                                  IT
made me appreciate seeing you more

but now it has
become so big
that our voices
are barely able
to attain the pe
ak; even the m
emories of you
have trouble re
-aching me pa
st the obstacle
that i now see
instead of you
r soft, soft eyes

I miss the touch of your palm against my palm
Now I can only press it against this disdainful and cold brick wall,
hoping that you might be pressing your hand against the same brick,
just on the other side.
hoping that my warmth might eventually sink through to you,
that my rain/tears might corrode the clay
hoping that maybe, maybe, maybe

you will hope the same thing too.

(i)
First gaze: the arms of your waves
choke me
I swallow an abyss of blue.
Just as I am about to hit the bottom
your voice brings me up, an anti-gravity
I float up to the surface
Starry, starry night
I realize that stars come from waves of the deep, blue, endless
  o                 e                 n               a               c    
                c                a                n                e                o
created by refracting rays of light from the sun, the real sun, a sun
I had never seen before
Some of the saltwater is trapped in my lungs,
fingers of light poke their way into me
I am shining with brilliance
the burning glow seeps through skin, bones and heart,
while your hands carry me, tenderly embracing.

(ii)
You told me to forget, so I forgot myself.
as soon as I stopped looking at the hourglass
the words evaporated out of me.
I watched as my condensed
voice spiraled up into the air - silencing me
during sleep a cloud appeared
above me;  the sponge absorbed
my vaporized words.
it didn't take long
(the sand had not hit the bottom yet)
for the cloud to grey

(iii)
Rainballoons burst
onto the street of regret
The scabrous asphalt glistens
memories of unspoken emotions
(like the sweet touch of your gaze)
flash by as lightning strikes
... the only illumination here.