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 Apr 2013 Emma Spalding
Katrina
Everyday gets harder to be strong.
knowing what i did caused everything to go wrong.

I pause for just a moment and think of you.
knowing my actions ******* my heart for life.

I smile hoping this choice was right.
but i still shed a tear knowing we gave up the fight.

Trust was impossible.
love was inevitable.

Dealling with a broken heart is where i stand.
Memories are all i have.

Hope for your happiness is all i can do now.
tho my love for you will never die down.

Keep up your hate if thats what it takes.
im not around to hurt you anymore.

im here for myself, for once in my life
gettin back on track, and maybe then you will see who i want to be.

but until then know i miss you.
And not once, did i lie when i said i loved you.
The good.
The good die young?
Is it absolutely true
That only the good are jabbed
With an arrow of a short life?
It makes no sense to me…
I had breakfast this morning.
She couldn’t.
I laughed with my friends.
She can’t.
The most hurtful thing is,
I woke up this morning.
She didn’t.
Why?
Why, God?
Why is it that the lives
That seem to have been
The most valuable are the ones
That get taken away the quickest?
I take a breath,
And it’s over.
But, not for me.
I carry on.
Is the fact that my life
Is far from perfect
The reason I’m still here,
Still breathing?
Was her vibrancy and passion
Something you needed right then?
Yes, she will be exactly the angel
You were searching for yesterday.
She is no longer in pain.
It’s the ones she left behind
That my prayers are for,
Tonight.
You will be missed, angel.
Emptiness swarms me,
Taunts me in my sleep.
Reminding that I’m alone.
Listing off the reasons.
Telling me there’s something
About me that nobody wants.
I try to decide what it is...
Maybe it’s my sarcasm.
Or the fact that I’m too short.
I’m “cute” but never “beautiful.”
Or my standards are just too high,
But are they, really?
All I want is someone who I can talk to.
Really talk to.
Have a deep conversation about everything.
Someone to trust.
Is it too much to ask?
Emptiness.
It takes me over
When my mind tricks itself
Into thinking I’m happy just how I am.
Taunting me
Until I just can’t sleep anymore.
She was afraid
But aren't we all
Afraid that we'll drown
afraid that we'll fall

She was alone
Her, her, and her
In a room that was silent
Where nothing would stir

She was a fool
Dumb and naive
A silly little girl
With her heart on her sleeve

She was a dreamer
You're ****** if you're not
Hope keeps you fighting
...or that's what she thought
Have a seat, sit down and talk to me.
I’m a closed book of secrets, you see.
I’ll promise you now that I won’t tell a soul.
Because I’ll do anything to make a life whole.
Know you can trust me because I’ve been in your shoes.
Swimming at the bottom with nothing to lose.
It’s worth a shot if I can save you from destroying  yourself
If I can somehow demonstrate your value, your wealth…
I know how it feels to hate the skin that you’re in.
To not know where you are and forget where you’ve been.
I understand the pain of looking in a mirror,
And seeing a blurred image although completely clear.
I’ve walked down the path where I lost myself.
I’ve been at that point where I don’t care about my health.
In front of my eyes I’ve watched a love die,
Felt all the hurt of my strong mother’s cry.
Been separated from family and came back home,
Unanchored and drowning when allowed to roam.
Experienced first love and letting it slip away
Never spilling the words that I was dying to say.
Been used like a play thing and left here to die
Picking my pride back up and hanging myself up to dry.
Lost good friends that I will never get back,
But forming new friendships that will forever last.
Losing my faith in God and even in air,
Finding my way back through the power of prayer.
I am here for you and I’m here for anyone
Who on a bright summer day cannot find the sun.
If you feel like the sum of your parts is worth nothing,
Come have a talk with me so I can tell you something.
You are worth more than the weapons in your hands,
So if not for yourself, who will ever take a stand?
Your body is the greatest gift you will ever obtain
So treat it with care and forget about the pain.
And if after all this you are still holding the knife,
Talk to me so I can remind the beauty of this crazy life.
You're drunk
I'm sober.
This conversation is so much fun.
You type so many words and feelings.
I barley have to reply.
This conversation is so true and pure.
You tell me all your grudges for people I don't know.
You tell me how much you like me,
And some how I believe you more then ever.
You spill your life goals to me and your fears.
This is who you are.
Ten messages at once.
I'm sober.
You're drunk.
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