need to take

a second to breathe

must take

a moment to eat

a scattering of a heartbeat

to sleep

and bathe in the whimsy

something,

someone

will whisk it all away

close my eyes and kiss me

tell me to forget.

remind me

to function

because i often forget

i still have to be

living later on.

I can’t summon
the ability
nor motivation
to do the
simplest act as
lifting a pencil
to write poems
I may only read
nor finding the words
to speak
the novels I used to be
so fond of.
I want to care like
The bees care about the flowers
Or the way lips
Care about kisses.
I simply just
Cannot.

one night

we

fell in love

and she asked me

for my

soul

i told her

darling,

i would,

but i’m afriad

it’s already been sold.

The night I convinced myself
I was tied with ropes
to the demands of others,
and I could only
cut myself free,
was the night that began
                           the free fall
                               of my own perpetual
                                   freedom.
     When I realized I could
do anything I wanted
behind closed doors
because there was absolutely
no way anybody could restrain me.
Unfortunately, as the world
sometimes decides,
the things that made me happy
were the things that made others upset, uncomfortable,
disgruntled them
because they could not see
the beauty I did
in a collection of scars
the storybook on my body
in the smoke rising from my lips.
The things that made me free
also, are killing me.
But no one can seem to see
the absolute romanticism
in the control of my own death,
                                           freedom.

a booth for two
and a light for dimming
my feet placed across from me
on the empty seat
where she would be,
my usual,
my only drink,
leaving a watery ring
of the the patterned wood
and there's an empty spot
where hers should be.
the waitress wants to talk
and I think she'd listen
but what would I say
if I couldn't find the words
to try to fill that vacant booth
or to explain
this love
combined of my coffee and of
my aquarius, usually
on the opposite seat,
that I simply cannot
fathom.

Lazy hat
Hanging haphazardly
Lazy cigarette
Dangling carelessly
Between middle and index fingers
good morning.