i want to eradicate you.
i don't want to feel your pressing presence anymore.
i'm so tired of having to force my thoughts elsewhere every moment of everyday.
it's not fair.
how did this happen.
how did i fall so hard for yellow jeans and an awkward humor.
why did this boy be someone who wouldn't ever see me in the enchanting light which was the only one ever shined on him by me.
i never said a bad thing about him.
never doubted him.
didn't know him.
i don't know him.
he doesn't and never did know me.
we aren't friends.
not acquaintances.
not a mutual companion.
we simply "aren't."
we simply "weren't."
doesn't matter all the hope i and my friends fed me.
there wasn't any ever to give or take.
only abstract ideas to help my heart and brain to cope with this problem.
yes. problem.

there will always be a part of me
that wants you.
but never a part of me
that needs you.

i can't forget your voice
because it resonates in my heart beat
i can't forget your scent
because i smell you everywhere
i can't forget how you made me feel
because now i feel hollow
and i can't forget how you tasted
because there was nothing to remember.

and i cannot sleep without you
haunting every dream.
and i cannot breathe without you
burdening my breath.
and i cannot think without you
echoing in my brain.
and i cannot not be hollow without you.