funny, weird, generous, hard working
only two words can explain this ET phenomenon
MY DAD.

he is my hero,
in many a different way.
sticking to what he believes.
and not giving up when things get tough

some would call that stubbornness
but i think of it as a superpower
one that can never be taken away

this is my dad
my role model
my hero
and he can achieve anything


p.s. happy fathers day to every dad out there

finally awake after a dreamless sleep
looking to the end of your bed
you see a wrinkled cadavers arm (hand and all)
reaching out to grab you

you can barely move out of fear
every time you call for you dad
your voice is barely a whisper
finally your able to call out "daddy"

he replies "be there in a minute"
the arm is still reaching to grab you
your shaking with fear
scared out of your mind

finally grabbing the strength while it lasts
eyes still locked on the arm
you jump out of the bed and run to the door
opening it you race out

your at the door on the inside of your room again
opening it again you race out
this process is then repeated three more time out of fear
it clicks

your trapped in your room
a wrinkled cadaver arm is trying to get you
your father has not come
after being screamed for over and over again

you blink
your back in bed
you think that its over
that it was just a dream

then the nightmare relives itself
again and again and again
the cadaver arm reappears
over and over again
you relive the terror, frustration, horror, and desperation
your dad still has not arrived to save you

one finally scream leaps from your throat
DADDY!!!!!

you wake up
and hoping against hope
you jump out of bed
race out your door and out the back  

you made it
welcome back to reality
overjoyed to be awake you burst into tears
and look for your dad

he isnt there.....

The statues of the night
To turn away is to seek out death
Don't blink
Don't look into their eyes
Don't turn away

The weeping angels see when unseen
Move when unheard
But speak when spoken too
They answer in the voices of the men they ****
They weep in shame
But it does'nt last long
Cause soon they're hunting once more
And
      This
            Time

THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU

i look through my window
and i see my life looking back

i look through my window
and i see what my could have been

i look through my window
and i see my death

a death so beautiful and serine
it looks like im sleeping
sleeping on a bed of satin
flowing down a river
a single rose between my hands
with red hair floating around me
like a halo

Til now I've tried to be a big girl
I tried not to cry
But now every time that you call me
I can't help. But notice why
And tears spring to my eyes
As I see your tired happy smiling faces
Talking to me from I mile away

I tried to be a big girl,
And I tried not to cry
But now everything you call me
Tears spring to my eyes

I feel so alone
I feel so sad
I know that you miss me
But I miss you twice as bad

I know that your tired
I know that your sad
I know that you think of me
And see me at home all alone

Though I know it's hard and that you travel far
I wish I could go with you
Though I'd look past the moon
And reach past the moon

No need for long goodbyes
Or extra long hellos
I can see all your smiling faces
A you travel round the globe

walking down a road
a road paved with good intentions
i stare only ahead
at the things that can never be
because it has already been

i sit and wonder
listening to all of your thoughts
and i listen to the lies
the lies that you told me
i remember one very disinctly
and so it went 'i love you'

see there goes another lie
i now sit and stare
on a road paved with good intentions

I thought never aging would be a blessing,
But it's a curse under cover
The fact is time means nothing to me now.
I can't look for you, or seek you out
You might as well be dead to me now
In you grave with a headstone saying:
"here lies a man who waited for his beloved"
For you will always be aging, and I am immortal
It is a horrible truth and it breaks my heart, more than it breaks yours
For I am stuck with the terrible truth of my mistake
For the rest of my eternity

i looked into the future and i saw my death
i cried at this
tears flowed from my sightless eyes
my blind yet piercing eyes couldn't comprehend what i had seen
my heart beating loudly from within my throat
as my mouth gaped open i a silent scream
and then i realized
the nightmare had struck again.....

Grey clouds assenting
The eclipse has begun
As the sun turns red behind the moon
And as everyone looks in wonder

The ground shakes
People fall to the ground
Trees fall over at the roots
Homes are collapsing

Max a 15 year-old girl screams for her life
Her mother has been crushed by a falling tree
Tears falling down her face
Those silent tears for her mother

The earth begins to crack open
This signifies the beginning of the end
Cars fall into the giant crack in the middle of the town
And no one hears her scream

Max is alone
Scared
And hoping for one thing
That death would come swiftly
If that was meant to be


Darkness closes in around her
Her green eyes to dry to cry
Voice to horse to scream
Her pale limbs to sore to move

The wind wiping Max's long red hair around her face

Max curls up on the ground
Waiting for death to show up
The ground gaps wider and wider
Welcoming her to nothingness

And as she falls she whispers a final word
                       goodbye

Ghosts of my mind
Torment me no more
For I am not what I seem

Ghosts of my mind
Going from memory to memory
Telling me its all just a dream

For I am not scared
Of what is to come
Of the tomorrow that I face

I cannot condemn an innocent man
to meet my terrible fate
upon the rocky shore below

so ghosts of my mind
please stop your screaming
my life has been decided

I have given my life for you

don't disappoint me…my lover of never again

i couldnt see the way, the tunel as dark as night
and the lamp posts within were brocken to the core.
the life i could have led dissapeared from my reach
the walls of my consience closing
and the presure maddening

the darkness were like walls closing around me,
my world is turned to dust before my eyes
because you wernt there beside me ,
to show me that i could to any thing.
you were my confidence
my one and only friend but now your gone
and its to much to bear
i read my books over and over,
i took you for granted
i thought id lost you
but then i found you
and then i lost you all over again

if i could see you smile just one more time all the pain in the world could not stop me from finding you once more

I can't thank you enough
for the deed you did today
I can't thank you enough
for the word you didn't say
I can't thank you enough
for the hand you gave me then
I can't thank you enough
for the light you didn't dim

I know the truth now
You saved me from a life of woe
I can't thank you enough

I can't thank you enough
for not turning away
I can't thank you enough
for making it my special day
I can't thank you enough
for knowing that you'll always stay

You'll stay for eternity with me

you found your way to the center
the center of my labyrinth of memories

don't congratulate yourself just yet
you may have made your way here
but how will you get out with no exit......

you thought yourself pretty clever didn't you
thought you could wander around without the consequences
well your wrong mwa ha ha ha.......

your trapped       ( crack crack shatter)

this is the sound of your sanity breaking
the walls of your conscious closing
and all of your memories fading away

poor unfortunate soul
just an empty shell now
your eyes are blank
with only the last traces of the tears from your last moments of  consciousness

The curtains of my dreams pulled back
To show the life I should have led
Through the trees I ran from you
To try and ease the pain I felt

The times you said you loved me
Were countless that much is true
But when you came last night
You brought with you someone new

Her curly hair and pale skin
Just broke my heart to see
And then you said those unchanging words
That left you far from me

You said she was your one, your all, your eternity
I felt the trickal of salty tears run down my sorrowful face
And felt the agonized cries that came from my shattered heart

Days would pass then months then years
Yet still my heart would fail to mend

So now I sit by my window waiting for a rescue
That will never come

i am but a shadow of my former self
with a mask on my face
and a pen in my hand

i can see behind the mask you wear
i can see the emotions behind your eyes
i can see the intentions written plain across your face

but listen to this
my mask has begun to slip
a part  of me snaps

but now listen to this
my mask has fallen from my face
and breaks upon the floor

now you can see me
as i truly am
no mask to show you an imposter

but the real me
me as i truly am

i couldn't wait to see the sunrise
a sunrise just for you

i couldn't wait to see the sunset
with all its colours free

i saw my sunrise and set
i saw it rain, i saw it pour
i saw my rainbow once again
once again and once more
red- the colour of love
blue- the colour of contentment
green- of friendship
and others of such loveliness
that its impossible to describe

but here it is
laid out before you
the sunrise and sunset
and the rainbows with all its colours
colours of such loveliness

i promised you a world of your own
i promised that you'd never be alone
im sorry but these promises i make
have come and gone all to late

i promised that you had a home
i promised you a hand to help you up
im sorry but these promises i make
will not come true, but they wernt all fake

i made promises i couldnt keep
i made hopes rise and then fall heavier than before
i saw what you needed
i saw your pain

i wanted to help but couldnt
i made promises that i couldnt keep
and im sorry

im sorry.......
i love you

Verse 1
Im all alone
With no one who cares
The leaves on the trees
May rustle and weeze
But they don't have a soul to share

Verse 2
Im all alone
In the darkness of night
And the pain in the world
Cannot take from the wound
That is cut so deep into my side

Chorus

Verse 3
Im all alone
And im runnin so fast
But I cant see the beginning
Of the light of the sun
The darkness in closing in so fast

Chorus
So take of me what you will
And steal my soul to ****
I am far to dark to cure
If you loved I never was sure

Verse 4
Im all alone
Black butterflies surround me
They know and they love
But they don't understand
There is no more to say

Verse 5
Im all alone
And the silence slowly kills me
There is nothing to live for
You destroyed all I was
Cant you take this away

Chorus

Verse 6
Im all alone
And yet they're all around me
They tell me to love this life
But they don't understand
They never understand

chorus

Kick me out
Trow me away
Break my bones with those sticks and stones
Dig my grave
Bury me deep
Give me a mercy killing
and now the torment shall begin

dont ever think that i dont care
your troubles are your own
dont ever think you've got a share
of money fame and bones
my killer instincts say im wrong for you
but you keep saying your wrong for me
the relief i felt was so intence
i feared the breaking of your heart
so then we went our seperate ways
you to the left
and me to the right
dont ever think that i didnt care

verse 1
these days i am so lonely
you never write or call
i don't know whats inside your head
aren't i always there for you
so tell me the truth

chorus
i want to know whats going through your head
i want to know the words you haven't said
aren't i always there for you
so tell me the truth

verse 2
why cant i ever be around
when your friends come over here
why cant you ever speak your mind
because im sick of it

chorus

verse 3
im so sick of your wineing
you say i dont understand
im no mind reader
so tell me whats on your mind and where i stand

chorus x2

Sad feelings, a starry sky again tonight
I wish upon a shining star, so....
Trouble is never ending
But the door has already been opened

You gave me strength to stand up when i'm stepped on or i fall
I sing to become a star i can be proud of
I will try harder than ever because i want to be stronger
Steady love, such precious love

I cherish you more than anyone else
I have some unsure nights but
We'll keep on living without losing

Sometimes in life
Things either can't or won't go your way
Sometimes in life
One person's angel is another persons demon

You can't see me
You cannot hear me screaming your name
You cannot smell my perfume
But she can taste the sweetness of your lips on hers

Don't let me disturb you
My dearest angel
Was my angel, now my demon
As I see your arms around her

The rain as it falls on my head
Once such a light patter
Now like rocks falling on my skull
I hear the screams leave my lips

I was falling
Because you weren't there to catch me
I was crying
Because you weren't there to tell me it would all be ok

But I have caught myself at last
And I have stopped the shedding of my tears
I have found my way through the darkness
And I have walked into the arms of my angel
Once again

they left me alone
all alone in the darkness

they left me alone
you left me alone
and it hurt
i saw myself fading away

im fading away
with nothing to do but watch
watch as my hands turn to dust
and my eyes turn into stars

now i can see the world
the world as it should have been

Don't tell me what I already know
Don't tell me I cant say no
Don't tell me that there are forces at large
Trying to tear us apart

We both know that not the case
It all your fault we're on this chase
Running through the night we flee
You cant say its all me

We both know we don't stand a chance
So whats the point Why don't we dance
Don't tell me that you cant
Ive seen you do it a dozen times before

So now its your turn
Make me feel like I could fly
Fly right into the sky
This is my tragic romance

i never wanted to be alone
but somehow i always ended up that way
the years that i cried
and the tears that i shed

if i counted all my tears
pandora would turn green with envy

though i know you gone
i cant help but hope you'll be back
even though i know this could never be
i've lost you and i know that i'll never have you back

if i couned all my tears
pandora would turn green with envy

you and me
shall lovers die
that what you said when you arrived

you and me
we'll roam the world
all our dreams shall be unfurled

now its just you. no me anymore
thats what i said when i stalked out your door
leaving you to the pleasures of the woman whos arms i saw draped round your neck

you and me
shall lovers die
that was a dream, its all just a lie

the marks on the page
tell me everything i need to know
the colour of the ink
is a ****** crimson red

written in blood
was the contract i made
written in blood
was the name that i signed

written in blood
the words on the page
written in blood
was the colour of fire

The night falls with a silent sigh, lost are we.
The salvation for which you pine
Flares once, then dies, smothered by the all encompassing dark
All must end
Your heart beats no more, how could you cause such hurt
Angels surround us, crying, we are fallen

almost dead
floating around in a river
almost dead
slowly swaying to the music of the earth
almost dead
a light is fading

i see darkness creeping in on me
i see everything around me dead

almost dead
sinking to the bottom
almost dead
choking on the breath of life
almost dead
loosing consciousness

the day i died was the day i was freed

as the world moves on
i know that i remain the same
but one thing that i know is true
the people i know and love
will stay the same to

i look into the hearts of others
and i dont always like what i see
but when i look right into your heart
i see the love you have for me

so dont worry about me
cause i will be all right
and whenever i need a hug
i know your riht here by my side

i am in your mind
telling you things
that you woulnd have thought of
i am in you heart
turning it to ice
cold and hard like stone
i am in your soul
creating a monster
a monster that shouldnt exist
me....