It gets sad here.

We wallow in our inconveniences and forget
to celebrate the clouds and the birds and the sun.

It's hard to forget things so instead of trying to wash away
the sad,
-because it won't go away-
create better
memories
cancel out the unhappy
and replace it with bliss.

Back then nothing truly mattered
because we were sitting on cloud nine
years old
and stepping on a sidewalk crack could break an elephant's back
but you stepped anyway
because from way up there on your cloud
elephants were like ants
and we stepped on those too
we were big fans of stepping on things
we stepped on twigs on mud on trees on dirt on carpet on sidewalk cracks on ants
we were too busy stepping to realize that soon
we would become the ones being stepped on.
Because at three feet tall we were so busy playing with the world at out feet
we didn't realize there were worlds worlds above us.
because we were sitting on cloud nine years old
stepping on ants and sidewalk cracks
never bothering
to look  up.

You tell me to
let go
let go
let go
but
my fingers are paralyzed, clenched, holding
onto something I'm still trying to wrap my head around
something I'm still struggling to forgive myself for
so, tell me
how do I release my grip
if my brain has forgotten
how to
let go.

I miss the days
when big books
were used for pressing flowers
and I love reading
but things used to be simpler
there was a time when I didn't need and author or a poet
to tell me about places beyond
reality
I was already
there
and I don't know
how to find my way back.

living on two hours
of "sleep"
groggy doesn't even begin
to describe
the disorientation.
how do i walk
It's midnight!
not noon!
Someone get me a latte.

Driving along an empty street
at 6pm you
reach the beach.
The sun is halfway set.
You sit there and watch it sink into the ocean.
you think it's gone but then you remember
something you read a long time ago.
You run up to the lifeguard tower
and climb to the top.
When you get there, you can see
a sliver of the sun, setting again.

Nothing is ever gone if you remember
to change your perspective.